My husband is a very adept manipulator, so good in fact that no one realises they are being manipulated. He is a narcissist.
He had a very bad relationship with his mother and has severely damaged the relationship between my son and I. He has created a gulf with his lies or HALF TRUTHS making it so hard to uncover the truth. He has a hidden agenda of not liking women but he needs women to give him his power. So he works with vulnerable women and disabled children.
He thinks he's a good dad but I've begged him not to get into my (adult) sons head as I hear him do all the time.
He is playing a really dirty game now he's met a wealthy client he's having a relationship with. he is projecting on me all the very horrible things he is doing. He's telling my son I'm playing unfair, he's the one who's closing accounts, moving money and pretending he's having a tough time. Now my son believes him. This man's quote to me is no one will beat him..He crosses professional boundaries unchallanged
2007-05-18 01:47:35 · 18 answers · asked by dragon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This man is a misogynist. He hates women and seeks to attract then destroy them. You will not change him you can only change yourself. He will undermine your self esteem until you rely on him totally and then reject you making you think it is your fault. Get out of the relationship as soon as you can!!!! You are not his therapist. Save yourself. By the way have you had therapy in the past or are you a therapist? You seem to know the jargon.Do not try to analyse him, it serves no purpose.He may have psychopathic tendencies but that is him not you.It doesnt matter what other people will say, they dont have to live your life. Make your plans and get out asap.
2007-05-18 02:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by Yoda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you need to vent - you need to find someone you can re-hash this WHOLE story to - this excerpt is not going to cut it, I'm afraid.
You know you don't want to be with him anymore - you're angry and hurt. At the same time you do not wish to be seen as the bad guy. Lemme let you in on a secret - no matter what you do, if he has this much power, you WILL be seen that way - but only until life turns the wheel and people see the truth for what it is. The wheel turns slowly, but it standeth not still. Do you work? If not, you HAVE to establish how you will restore your independence. You'll have to PLAN your way out - be silent, don't play into his game. Sometimes the best way to beat a loud mouth know it all is to KNOW it all, and just be really, really quiet... plan your way out, and then walk away, dignity intact. It means swallowing a lot of bull, but in the end, there's not a single thing they can throw in your face but silence.. and silence speaks volumes ...
2007-05-18 03:05:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might want to consider your husband is psychopathic rather than narcissistic. Some subtle differences, but might make a world of difference for strategic purposes. Do some homework and see if you can wrap your mind around the difference. Either case you have master manipulator devoid of empathy. The difference lies in the motive. Narcissists need adoration. Psychopaths need control. Both achieve it through masked manipulation. Removing their mask of charm takes patience with well placed traps. If you can expose his inappropriate behavior without overreaction you will see your son and the rest of your husband's fan club arriving at their own conclusions. Calmly present the evidence and eventually it will be so overwhelming even those in the greatest denial cannot help but see him for who he really is. His actions are in stealth so you must combat them in the same way - be in stealth also.
2007-05-18 03:14:07 · answer #3 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok This guy is scary and if you had a girlfriend in the same position, what would you tell her?
I mean it. Self counseling is the best. Pretend your best friend is in the EXACT same position, what would you ask her? What would her answers be, how would you respond to it?
Then, go seek legal advice. Keep your ds aware of what you think goes on in dh's head, what the past is and how you think it affects him.
Pray about it. Pray that God heals him and protects you and ds.
2007-05-18 01:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have no idea what you are asking!
If your husband is really what you said he is, why do you write horrible things about him here and yet you are still with him?
Get your butt off of a chair and do something about it!!
That's all I can say unless you have a question!
2007-05-18 02:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is that your final answer??
There is no question here. What is it that you are looking for with this? If you are looking for a "venting post" then try the blog page at Yahoo 360.
2007-05-18 01:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
every dog has a day.don't worry there is always some one greater than him,who will fix him.meanwhile you make your finance better.pray to god.your son will never leave you mark my words.good luck.
2007-05-18 02:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking what to do? Or are you just venting? Your husband is a sick man....one to be frightened of. You should be distancing yourself as far away as possible.
2007-05-18 01:56:27 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you is to pray for a new man, because the one you have is going to fall on his face. to him he is having lots of fun, but can't see his life is falling. talk to you son and tell him not to follow in his steps because he is going to trip. just sit back and watch him fall
2007-05-18 01:53:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Beat him at his own game. You've seen him in action, put that knowledge to good use.
2007-05-18 01:50:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋