Seperated for year and half now and husband filed for divorce already. He lives with another woman and for some reason is so angry and at me. I don't have a clue why, he is the one that left and filed and I really think its because I'm taking it so hard and he wanted me not to be hurt or something. Well I am hurt and still cry all the time, you don't just turn off your feelings after 15 years especially when you end your marriage by infidelity. How do I get over the pain? Why is he so damn angry?
2007-05-18 01:11:47 · 17 answers · asked by Octavia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There must be a reason? Maybe he's mad at himself and is taking it out on you. How can someone be mad for no reason? You must find out the reason so you can move on. Otherwise this will haunt you forever maybe you should ask your lawyer if he can find out the reasons why? That might be a starter. Time to move on meet new people. Good Luck!!
2007-05-18 01:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being seperated a year and a half is a long time. He may be angry that you didn't file for divorce which is what most women would have done since he was living with another woman. He may have felt better about what he did if you had filed, as opposed to him filing and you being upset. Wake up, its over. Time to move on and quit crying over a done deal. Hes mad because you wont move on. Not trying to be mean really and I hope you can get over the pain.
2007-05-18 01:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by teana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
15 years of marriage ended because of infidelity, that's a good enough reason to be angry. This whole situation is very painful, divorce is not a walk in the park. It's going to take time for both of you to heal. He could be angry because he's really with someone that he don't want. My advise is to deal with the matter at hand and learn from it and remember how it felt to lose someone you truly cared about.
2007-05-18 01:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by pradavee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you why he is angry at you and I understand you must feel devastated. It will take a long time to get over this guy, however, you need to move on with your life soon or later. So why not sooner? I don't mean by meeting another man. Look back all those years you spent with him and find things that you were not able to do when you were with him. 15yrs...hum...that's tough. Don't waste your tear, I know, sometimes you just can't help it. If you can't help but to cry your eyes out, go ahead until no tears drop down from your eyes. But don't dwell on it. Thinking about the past and being depressed is not healthy for you, instead think about your bright future and smile. Don't worry too much about how your ex feels about you. Like you said he is angry at you, but who really knows why? Forget it and move forward. His feelings are not important at this time. Let the other woman worry about his anger. You'll do just fine, keep yourself busy. Good luck!
2007-05-18 01:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is angry because you did not roll over and give him a divorce and make it easy. Good for you. STand up for yourself. He is committing adultry and that is a felony in some states. Get a lawyer and get everything you can. Some people say don't , but do because giving everything up does not change what happened to you. At least have the statisfaction that you got everything you could from wasting your life with a liar and a cheater.
I was married 37 year and my ex had cheated many times. The last time with my youngest sister.
I stood up and fought and boy I can say I am glad I did.
He still wanted to control me in the divorce and then have it effect me after the divorce. I got a detective and proofed adultry. It cost him $8,000 for the lawyer and me $10,000 for the lawyer and detective. But it was worth ever dime. He did not walk all over me and does not control me now. He was so angry, he wanted to call his affair --friendship.
My ex still won't admit he is screwing my sister. He purchase a house one block from hers and goes back to his house ever night , so he can say I never spend the night. Waht a piece of work he is such a hipocrit. During the divorce , I found out he had forged my name on 4 notes against our home. Your soon to be ex is afraid of you right now and what you are going to get. Get every thing you can , because you will be divorced and you can't stop what has happened. Don't let him use you anymore. Get what you can so you can be more finanical secure. Let him be angry he did this not you.
My lawyer told me it took 3 months for every year you were married to get completely over the guy. So you are looking close to 4 years, before you have your head on straight. Hold up your head high and move on one day at a time. Remember he will reap what he sowed. What goes around comes around. He is a liar and a cheat. The woman he is with is a liar and a cheat they deserve each other. Neither will every be able to trust each other. What a way to live.
It has been 4 years since my ex left and 2 since the divorce. (Oh, it took 2 years for my divorce to go thur) I had to fight it was worth it. I have my home and it is paid for and my car. He did not get my retirement. So, my life is going on not as I had planned, but I am alive and getting happier everyday. I still don't trust men and that is going to take a long time to get over . But I am doing it one day at a time. BEING HAPPY , is the best revenge . Let your ex see you happier than you were ever with him.
2007-05-18 01:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
his "anger" over whatever it is he tells himself you did is the justification he uses for being a selfish coward who turned his back on marraige. He has to be "angry" to prevent himself from facing the consequences of what he's become. Most cheaters are like this.
Forget about his anger: its just a smokescreen to protect himself against guilt and shame. No matter what he says, you did not MAKE him cheat or leave you.
Focus on your feelings and try to take it one day at a time. There is no saving this until he faces what he's done and become. You can't make taht happen, only he can. Try to move on with your life as best you can.
2007-05-18 02:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by Cassandra G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband knows he's wrong; he just doesn't want to deal with it. Better to act like he's angry, so he doesn't have to face you. 15 years is a long time and it is understandable that you are hurt. But try to get over your pain. He's not worth your tears.
2007-05-18 01:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be just asking him why he's so angry. If you could do that, tell him to explain what exactly happened. Don't ever hide your feelings. Show him how much he hurt you and tell him how you feel. He will feel incredibly guilty and he should!
It's sad, but you obviously have to end it now. If ever it was meant to be, it could still be. If not, your dream come true has yet to come and he will be worth the wait. Good Luck
2007-05-18 01:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of yourself is what is important. Don't waste any time trying to figure out why your husband is angry...who cares!! He's the one who took off with someone else. Don't let him throw any blame on you. You may want to talk to a therapist. It never hurts.
2007-05-18 01:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that he is angry for many reasons. She (his new lover) is probably fueling the anger as well. I know youy hurt but let go and move on....take it one day at a time. You're the one who should be angry.
2007-05-18 01:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋