Long story short, I have had a mostly emotional affair with a married man fom work for a little over a year. We officially broke it off about our months ago because I was getting too attached and I assumed he was too. We stayed friends but I had a hard time letting go. I pushed him to finally tell me the truth about how he felt and yesterday he finally did. He said that he doesn't know how I got the impression that we were anything but friends and that he flirts with everyone. Our "relationship" went way beyond conventional flirting and there were many times I was positive that he was feelig things for me. I have to see him again on Sunday. I am humiliated and angry and hurt. What do I say? I can't completely ignore him so we will have to be civil to each other.
2007-05-18 00:49:31 · 16 answers · asked by cantstopnow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To say anything would be to subjject yourself to injury further. Be brave and put on your best smile. Learn from your mistakes and move forward... Time heals all wounds.
2007-05-18 00:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he meant what he said that he is a flirt, and
uses "best friend" as a way of excusing his actions. It is also possible that you may have read more into the reality of the "relationship". You knew that he was married, and according to you, the "relationship went "way beyond flirting". I assume that you may have been physically involved with him
Further, you seem to be positive that he was feeling "things" for you. That is an assumption which you cannot make. It is a subjective view of what you were interpreting about his feelings and not the fact that it was a "fling" for him, and you mistook it for something a lot more serious.
I would not ignore him; I would be civil to him; and I would tactfully get him aside if possible, and tell him that since this is neither the time nor the place that you would like to have a private chat with him about something which is bothering you and needs clarification.
2007-05-18 01:20:34 · answer #2 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor and brush it off. The fact that he was married yet talking with you should have set off a buzz that he was not really a man you would want to involve yourself with. Relationships that start out from cheating are usually a bad idea.
Chalk it up as an experience you can learn from, and move on while not letting it bother you too much. You don't have an insane amount invested in this relationship so it should be pretty easy to let it go and find someone new =)
If you feel that you absolutely must say something to him, keep it short and sweet. Let him know that you don't appreciate the way he blew you off and that he handled the situation poorly.
2007-05-18 00:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Brian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't get you anywhere pushing him to say things he either does not feel or he does not want to verbalise. If you really have to see him on Sunday don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Say your goodbyes in a mature manner. Keep cool and stay calm if he starts flirting again. 'Relationships' like this are doomed from the start. Get out while you're emotionally in control and strong enough to do so.
2007-05-18 00:59:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get real gal, how do you even in the first place get attached to a married man. you should have known from the start the he is not yours. i don't feel sorry for you. Imagine when you are married and find out your hubby has a mistress, will it treat you fine? Why stab his wife in the back? Let them be.
2007-05-18 00:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say thanks for the education I received. I will never get involved with married men again.
I tell you it is a big waste of your life to become involved with married men. They just want sex and they never leave their wife's! Lesson well learned. Instead of paying money you paid with your heart. Now you are a graduate of the "school of hard knocks"
2007-05-18 00:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by Pearlinpc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey this relationship doesn't mean anything.Why you want to spoil other girls life.Dont think about your advantages alone.
Try to find some other unmarried person in your life.
If you want to maintain relation with this person then it should be limited both sides
Be honest and don't be a cause of depression in other person's life
2007-05-18 00:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by coolspy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should treat him exactly like you treat everybody else you work with--civil. And that's it. See, married men who act like this are very good at telling us what we want to hear, and since you didn't give him any pus*y (sorry for being so blunt), he doesn't want any more to do with you, and he's trying to "save face" by saying what he did. He's a jerk loser *** hole.
2007-05-18 01:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put away your hurt feelings, and talk to him like he is anyone else. Your relationship with him was wrong from the start be glad that you didn't take it further.
2007-05-18 00:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what can u say?You allowed this to happen to u.I think u should take it as a lesson learned and move forward to better things in life.There are of plenty of men in the world that are single.
2007-05-18 00:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by honestly36female 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋