How can I stop feeling so miserable?

Question

Im graduating high school in a few days and I keep thinking that the whole experience has been a failure. I basically made like no friends at all. I mean its not like people hate me they like me but theres so many people I never got to know. I guess I sort of set myself up for this because I had this idea in my mind of how this year was going to be so perfect and I'd make up for all the lost time. But I feel further away from them than I ever have. I thought once I graduated I would just forget about it but I don't think so now this is going to stay with me. How can I fix this problem? I mean I know life goes on but it just seems so incomplete. Should I try to hang out with them over the summer? Maybe then at least I can feel a little more at peace. Its like a mix of regret, self-hatred, and guilt, and incompletion.

Answer 1

im sorry you feel this way but you really have to make the effort to get involved with people...sitting around and dwelling on how things didnt go so well will not get you anywhere..go out and do things, you have to make the initiiative..if you plan on going to college i guarantee you will have tons of friends and its such a great experience..trust me you will have tons of fun, try getting a job or doing volunteer work...its always going to be a negative experience if you dont do anything about it...if you ever would like to chat then please feel free to send me an email any time..good luck hun

Adv. Registerd nurse Practioner

Answer 2

The end of high school is a very emotional time, your thoughts won't be clear for a very long while, so just calm down and remember all the good times you had with your friends and try and keep in touch with as many as you can. They're special years. The experience hasn't been a failure, you've learnt a lot along the way and you're a better more mature person for finishing school - and you've given yourself the best chance for the future. Good luck. Everything you're feeling now has been felt before by many many people - you are not alone.

Answer 3

Dear Leena,

OK let's start at the beginning - It's not your job to make people like you - your only job is to like yourself - then everyone else can not fail to like you. To help you clearly see this image of the you who you need to love, get a pen and paper and write down "I am nice because......." I am good because............" "People like me because". You will see that you have some pretty fine qualities and that you DESERVE to be loved by YOU.
We can all be guilty of creating an image in our mind of how things are going to be and when they don't turn out like that we blame ourselves because we "didn't make it happen", or "didn't do enough". But, guess what? we are not in charge of the rest of the universe, only ourselves and because we can't control all of the elements we can't control the outcome.............
So GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! The only thing you are guilty of is not loving yourself enough - so say after me "I forgive myself for everything that has happened up to this point, whether it was my fault or not. I am a being of infinate possibilities - I have life's fantastic journey ahead of me and the only responsibility I have is to make MYSELF happy. ( we have just taken care of the regret, self-hatred and guilt!). So now, go where you WANT to go, do what you WANT to do - BE YOURSELF and everything else will fall into place - don't think about how, that's not your job - the universe (in which every being, plant and matter is connected) will do the rest.
Every night before you go to sleep say "I am really grateful for....and list all of the things (no matter how small they are) that you are grateful for in your life, and do the same every morning - Always have an "attitude of gratitude" and believe me your world will become a different place.
All of the above is your "completion" - you can now have a great summer. Don't forget you are an astonishing being with a limitless future - Hell I love you and I've never even met you!
(Life has been an absolute blast since I realised how fabulous I am!)
Peace and love.
Mac2martin

Answer 4

Once you get settled in your "real" life, you will find that things are different. I was pretty much the same way, but once I got out of school, I became more open, and made some good friends.

Think about this. Sometimes you body language will keep people at a distance. There are books on how to make friends, and build self esteem in the library, and in book stores. You may want to take a look at some of them. I did an it really taught me a lot.

Answer 5

You know what, it is perfectly normal to have friends but no close friends or anyone in particular you hang out with. I use to worry about my son who is now just completing his freshman year in college because he is was somewhat of an introvert. He got a summer job at the grocery store and enrolled in college and during this past year he has grown into a man and is quite busy with more friends of all ages than ever whereas the majority of the high school friends or acquaintances are doing nothing but hanging out, dead end. You'll be fine, give yourself a break there's no guilt and there's no right or wrong way either. Congratulations on completing school.

Answer 6

When I was in high school, I didn't feel like I fit in also. This is really should be such a great experience, but many times because of clicks, and the appearance of others who are popular, we feel left out, or not good enough. I can remember the clicks which were formed because of someones interest who the people in the click had to be alot a like. Let me lable the clicks, all sports teams hung together, drama, clubs, cheerleaders, music, and partyers. Neither one of my parents, ever showed an interest for me to be involved in anything, in fact they would disscourage me. Feeling left out would even make me ask why was I born, or can I just go away. Life changes as you get older, but you need to get out, and meet others. Everything which you ever wanted to do it is out there, and much, more that you you even, know you will like. I found my best friends, after I got out of high school who I hang around with. Infact I talk probably once a week with one from high school, who lives over a hundred miles away. I live at the beach now, and enjoy a wonderful day, everyday, with a spouse who is my best friend, with children whom I enjoy helping them to advoid the rejection which I felt. Do not let a circuamstance, change you for the worst, let it cause you to reach out, and find a same interest with others whom you have never met. A completeness will be felt from inside, tell your self that you are a great person, and put your self around people who speek great things into your life. Life, and Death are in the power of the tounge. What people talk about causes our thoughts to react. I like to be around people who are looking for the best in life, and I try to bring the best out of people. It is very important for my groups to focus on the positives, instead of the negatives in life. Your best life is a head of you.

Answer 7

hello and congratulations on graduating from high school!! feeling miserable is not fun. but lets look at your first statement..."I'm graduating high school in a few days"..."i keep thinking the whole experience has been a failure" ok...now tell me how could that be a failure? graduating high school is a great and wonderful achievement. Now lets look at your next statement..."i basically made like no friends at all"..."its not like people hate me, they like me"...so by your own words you know they don't hate you, and you know that this year has not been a failure because you in fact are graduating from high school...to fix the problem and to start feeling better?...my advice is this...remind yourself every day of all of the things that you have accomplished, set goals, think about your future, invite these friends of yours to go with you to take a tour of a college campus...get excited about something...and what better thing to be excited about than a college experience with your friends...make plans, talk to them about their plans, if possible make plans together...these friends sound very important to you and i respect that...ask yourself questions about your future...ask your friends what their plans are...it could be such a thing that you and your friends could go to the same college and be on the same dorm...or maybe you all could get a part time job and pitch in on the rent and bills, you all could share an apartment together, live on the dorm together, go to class together...my goodness...find out about student loans together and just fill your misery with thoughts of your future plans and how you will get to where you want to be in life...you can do it!! Get to know people by being someone people want to know. This is my advice and i wish you luck.

Answer 8

College will be a quick fix. All you have to do is join a club with people with similar interests and talk. I knonw how you feel I was in the SAME place a year ago. Good luck!
and oh yeah, you wont care who you met in High School a year from now so just be yourself. I thought senior year would be cool too and it was terrible i never felt farther away from my peers.Life goes on and it doesnt matter sweetie : )

Answer 9

School might seem like something important, but in five or ten years you'll look back and realise that you weren't even a fully formed person. Life starts now - making decisions for yourself and breaking free. School restricts your growth as an individual. Start living now!

Answer 10

If you didn't hang out with them during the last year, I don't see how you are going to cram 4 years of fun with them into 3 months. College is a whole new ball game. In two years you won't be able to remember their names.