why do people leave their parents in nursing homes???

Question

why the hell? isnt this cruel.

Answer 1

Many people can't afford to quit their full time jobs to care for aging, ailing parents. Nor can they afford the cost of a full-time private duty nurse. Have you ever tried to lift and turn a 150 lb. 60 year old woman who has cancer and doesn't know she's in the world? I have, at the age of 15. We took turns caring for my grandma, who wound up with brain cancer. She didn't know us, spat at us, fought us, and blessedly, finally just lay there in her final two months, at home in her bed.

My stupid pervert grandpa refused to put her in a home. However, I never once saw him sit by her bed to wipe the spittle and drool from her chin, or wipe her ***. No, it's not cruel, sometimes it's necessary.

Please don't judge others due to your lack of knowledge.

Answer 2

Because they don't have the means to take care of their parents. Maybe they have children of their own, have full time jobs, have a hard enough time taking care of themselves. Or maybe the parent has a disease or something that would be better taken care of at a nursing home. Maybe the parent needs constant attention or checking on, something that isn't possibly for their child to do if they have other responsibilities. Just because you put a parent in a home doesn't mean you don't love them and you are just trying to get rid of them. Take a different perspective and you'll see why people do it.

Answer 3

Sometimes there isn't a choice, unfortunately. My dad had to put his aunt Kath into a nursing home and it really pained him to do so but there was no other way around it. The only other option would have been for there to be a live in nurse and we did not have the finances for that. Kath loved to be independent so we held off on it as long as we could, but she was losing her balance all the time and kept falling over and couldn't get up. She had an alarm thing around her neck she would push to let us know she needed help, so we would go and help her up. We found the nicest place that we could, this place called Clover Lea that had really nice staff there and we rented her flat out to afford it. We would have preferred to avoid it, but she needed medical supervision.

Answer 4

I too once thought it was "selfish" to put your elderly parent(s) in a nursing home. Our mother is 86 years old, vision and hearing impaired. She refuses to wear the monitor we got for her in case she falls or needs assistance. She "hates" the phone we got for her programmed to call the people she wants to talk to. She complains incessantly about being bored but EVERYTHING we do to help (audio books, taking her out, etc) is meant with, "I can't because......", or "I hate that." We hear nothing but what we do wrong and how unhappy and lonely she is. She will not socialize with anyone so finding a group for her is out of the question. We are at wits end and I do understand why people throw their hands up in the air and chose nursing homes or assisted living. My sister and I cannot afford to quit our jobs and take care of her 24/7.

Answer 5

i'm white and that i accept as true with you completely. I did my clinicals in an excellent nursing domicile final summer season and that i found an identical forms of issues you noted. It replaced right into a tragic era of my existence. on account which you may no longer purely pass domicile and forget approximately approximately those human beings. a number of them i'll in no way forget approximately. and that i additionally agree that maximum folk of them are white. I stay interior the south. there have been no hispanics or asians. And a pair of million/3 of the citizens have been black. or perhaps even much less. the respond to your question --- No, i'll in no way pass away the two of my mom and father to go through at a nursing domicile. i admire them too lots. that's a degrading, humiliating place to be.

Answer 6

Only in North America...North Americans look for the easy route and get rid of the parents when they become a burden...in most of the world the old are cherished and live in the family home and provide the "matriarch" image rather than something to throw on the scrap heap when it no longer runs....they live longer and happier because they feel useful and important to the family unit and the children of these family units grow to be better adults because of what they learn from the grandparents...

Answer 7

This is indeed a sad state of affairs in this our generation. But the truth is, there were cases when the old people themselves wanted to stay in the nursing home. I have one such friend whose parent wants to stay in the nursing home. This parent says it's much convenient there, and there are people who can readily extend help when needed.

Answer 8

I am taking care of my grandad now who has m.s..
Its hard and some people cant handle it, so they pass the problem on to someone else. You right man, its very cruel. They lived a long life and gave life to people and thats how they are re payed, by being put in a home.

Answer 9

It seems wrong- but my grandmother was very difficult to care for after a stroke and scary psychosis. So for a few months, I took complete care of her, by myself, but then was so overwhelmed; I ended up in the hospital and I was ignoring my little child to take care of my grandmother.
So in certain cases it is necessary.
When I grow old: I prefer to not be a burden to anyone! I have been completely disabled before, so I know exactly what I am talking about.

Answer 10

Sometimes it is due to the fact that an elderly parent is unable to keep the quality of life that is necessary for them to remain within a safe and caring environment. Not all adult children are capable or equipped to care for elderly parents. In an instance where a parent is like a child themselves due to memory problems, loss of bodily function problems, inability to eat solid foods but insisting upon taking them anyway then almost choking to death on them, medications that are extremely expensive and where no assistance is available to lessen the high cost, health care provisions that must be done but which as well are not covered...etc., makes it extremely difficult for an adult child to continue to care in home for their elderly parent.

It is far less cruel to have an elderly parent living within a nursing environment when they are failing in health to the point of such things as the above...and most adult children do not make the decision to do this, easily. However, to not make this difficult decision and act upon it, they are placing not only their parent at risk particularly if they are unequipped or financially capable of taking on this level of care, but also at risk of placing their own health and financial well being in jeopardy. In that instance neither the elderly parent nor the adult child will benefit.

It is unnecessary tho when elderly parents who are quite capable of having a good quality of life outside a nursing environment are pushed into one, particularly against their will. My SIL is dealing with the first scenario, her mother is severely ill and caring for her in home the last 5 years has taken a severe toll on my SIL but she is adamant that her mother will not be placed in a nursing home environment. Her mother as well is adamant that if she is, she will kill herself...so my SIL believes she has a complete and necessary obligation to continue to deal with the many faucets of her mothers care including defecation regularly in almost any area of the home where she cannot help herself.

So, it really depends upon the level of health the parent is at and the ability the adult child has to ensure their parent is well cared for and not put at risk for any reason. Cruel? Not in all cases.