A ques for Indians and replies from guys will be appreciated- Is it true that the Indian man wants his wife?

Question

to be a good cook and spend her most time in the kitchen serving the needs of family members? is it true that the in laws insult or dislike a woman who isnt like that? Guys if your wife isnt a house frau n doesnt take much interest in doing all house and especially kitchen work will u not be happy with her?

I WANT HONEST ANSWERS ONLY.

hey CYRENE u hav got me wrong.im a kind of person who likes to carry out her responsibilities but i think its hypocritical tht the man can not make a chappati but the woman shouldnt foray out of the kitchen. if women are working to earn money why cant men cook?bcos they dont like it.

Answer 1

There are over a billion Indians in the world hence one cannot generalise. I personally am not like that. I want a woman that is smart, beautiful, intelligent and who has her own views. Being an educated professional, I will not settle for any woman who I cannot have an intelligent conversation with. More and more Indians are becoming like me. Although there are still Indians that prefer a wife to be nothing more than a house matt, which I personally find revolting. I have two sisters and I would be furious if I ever discovered that their in-laws expected them to be house maids.

Secondly, there are many guys that prefer to pamper their wives like queens. They want their women to live a life of luxury and they themselves would prefer to be the bread winners. Recognition needs to be granted to the fact that there are genuine guys that want a life of comfort for their wives, and that is why they prefer for them to stay at home. Not all guys who prefer their wives to stay at home do so in order to oppress them.

Answer 2

--What you have stated was correct when the male chauvinism was prevalent in the society (especially in India). In those days women were spending their time mostly in kitchen and serving the family and working as child making machine. The is was for 2 main reasons - 1. Women were not educated much and 2. Male members were supposed to earn for the family by working outside and bring money for running of the family. One way I would say this was leading to very Happy living and happy family those days. Because of this age old customs still there are people, I mean men expect their women to be indoors only-

NOW

The position and situation have changed. Women are educated and more intelligent than men. So they go for working and earning much more than men. The days have become more and more difficult for living and the need of money is felt much more. The earning by men alone is not sufficient now-a-days to run the family in most of the cases. The men are adjusting to the present environment and do household works like cooking etc. Now the time has come to share all the liabilities and works of the family between husband and wife and slowly people are adjusting to this. In our house all of us share all the works and I am equally happy to work in Kitchen. This is a fact and not a false statement. -

Answer 3

Honestly I would want my wife to know something about cooking.If she is a good cook then that would be a bonus!Certainly I would'nt want my wife to spend most of her time in kitchen serving the needs of family members.Those days are gone.The husband is expected to share the household chores,with the wife taking up a major chunk.Even the attitude of in-laws is changing in urban areas.I will be certainly pleased with a homemaker with whom I can share house and kitchen work .All said and done with a loving and devoted wife other things are not that important.The problem arises only when some people mistakenly associate full time kitchen and house work as evidence of love and affection.On this count the mindset of both women and men has to change.
However laziness for either gender should not be excused.Please do not generalise about Indians.What you have mentioned may be true in your place also,to a certain extent.

Answer 4

It depends on what kind of cultural background one comes from.

Honest replies are sometimes taken in the wrong spirit. Anyway how you take mine is left to you.

I would certainly want a wife who can Cook well and take care of the family, for which I will lookout for one of that type. But God forbid, if I land up with someone just the opposite of what I am looking out for, then problems are sure to happen. From time immemorable, this practice of wife take care of the house and husband working for the financial stability in the house has been going on and I don't think anything is wrong in the practice. But that doesn't mean that I am against women working in office and men working at home. To be honest, I myself am a very good Cook and can take care of my house independently. As regarding the in-laws behaviour, the media/cinema has been responsible to only show the bad part of in-laws. Have you really come across any media/cinema showing the good part of in-laws. So making such judgmental statements is wrong on your part as well. An in-law has a right to tell the daughter-in-law if something goes wrong. Has your mother, father or brothers and sisters never scolded you if you have done something wrong. Then why can't you accept if the same is done by your in-law. Why do you black list them from the very first scolding.

Answer 5

A house becomes a house only if the woman brings love and caring to the house. It is her presence, her benevolence her caring that makes a house a home. When I was a kid I always wanted my mom at home!!! Having your dad around gives you additional security and you have the perfect home! Come what may, a home needs a mom and dad and kids!!!

The Indian family system unfortunately involves in-laws and /or other members of the family. It is common knowledge nobody likes to cook and clean for them as well. This sytem is abused by most elders too! Everybody likes a 'bahu' or daughter-in-law who takes all their nonsense and does not say a word! This is universal behavior and does not count to only India.

Your question does sound like you don't want to do anything at all around the house or do not care for the house or your husband!!!

Indian or not nobody likes that kind of woman. If you ought to live together you ought to share your house work too!

Or perhaps, if you can afford it....get a maid. Don't blame your guns if you find your man with the maid some day....cos everybody loves people who care (sure let's say your husband was sick and SHE made him coffee or soup - that puts you way out!!!).

To put it another way...will you like a man who does not care for you or for the house, who spends money and time for his own comforts and interests?!

I do not think so!

Answer 6

To be Honest, This not only was but is there in India. I can give you the reasons behind was.

Earlier in Barath ( Traditional Name for India), and still in Rural India, People were living in big joint families. all men used to go out and work. The income obtained would be common for the whole family. So it was enough for making both ends meet. Thus, women used to do all the household chores. She was expected to be a good cook because preparing food was the main job in the house. Morover there were many women in the house who would share these work.

Some inlaws were found to be rude. We cant say the reason as improper cooking by the girl, because even very good girls got bad inlaws. Thus u can not categorize all inlaws in that manner. It was mostly that the women were married and went to the in las place, early in their lives. Therefore it was mostly the mother in law, who thought the girl to cook.

Now coming to the next part of your question. It is not that men wont help. It was only that, the hep of men was not required in the kitchen. but they helped in other household activities, and general administration of the big family. Also, women sometimes went out with their husbands to help them in their work.

You cannot say that those men never knew how to cook. There was a tradition (and is still practiced in traditional households) where women wont cook when they are having menstural periods. During those times, men will only cook.

Now, coming to the present day India, Things are changing here. Women working full time has become true. Morover, Joint families have become nuclear families. In these conditions, Men some men are also evolving to these changes. But this cannot be an overnight thing to happen.

Answering the final part of your question, As a typical south Indian, I would surely expect my girl to take care of the house and also cook. I wont expect her to work. Morover, My parents will select only such a girl for me. but, I dont deny that I would help my wife with some household work, especially cooking.

A good cook wont spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Her work would be good, clean and fast.

Answer 7

As an indian women i can tell you that for the most indian guys do think that way. They have very old fashioned ideas. not all of them but most. im indian and i live in South africa. even though being out of india has made the indian guys over here progress a bit many of them still adopt that same school of thought. they have the idea in their head that a womens place is in the house. .

It is slowly changing though, at least over here. Many indian guys over here do let their wives work and do help out at home when needed. .

i think its also because women feel more support and encouragement to stand up for themselves over here than in india and guys are forced to change.in india however society does consider a womens place to be in the house so this makes it very difficult..

Answer 8

It is a vedic system that a wife follows her husband but they both must be trained before marriage and both the girl & boy's families should be matched. A womans primary duties are to take care of the whole family & the house and in modern times she may have to work to support financially.
But she must be submissive to her husband otherwise the whole family life will fall apart now this is only applicable to trained girls & boy because without training in grahstha ashrama there is no quetion of family life its anyone guess how long that relationships will last lack of training in Krsna consciousness leads to lack of relations

Spiritually a woman is equal to man but materially not but as Chanakya Pandit says if ones wife becomes disobedient then man must leave that house
Woman is glorius as long as she is faithful to her husband and we can see the example of Draupadi & mother Sita in our vedic litterature because they were insulted by Duryodhana & Ravana they lost their whole dynasty & 2 great wars were fought so vedic culture states that a woman should be protected by parents when she is a child & by husband when she is adult & by the sons when she is old.So this protection & control by family protects them from fall down & exploited by society

The husband has to give full protection to his wife and also shastra states that a man should not marry if he cannot ensure that his children & wife go back to godhead

So the whole srimad bhagavatam is specifically meant for this training for both man & woman how to get into the grahastha ashrama keeping Krishna in the center then there will be no clashes & beacuse of bhakti to the lord the household life becomes glorious otherwise the couple will fall into grihamedhi life which is hellish,we can see today how things have degraded. Both are not faithful to each other and divorce is very common

Because of this vedic culture indian women are most repsected alll over the world for their faithfullness to their husbands wheras in the west the world record is a german lady marries 3 times in a week

This question is glorious as its from Varnashrama dharma and the whole world should follow varnashrama otherwise there will be chaos & irreligion
We should have more discussions on this question about man's relationship to a woman & vice versa

The western idea of women's liberation is a farce & the woman is being exploited by man in the name of women liberation culture but the best culture is vedic culture and even we can still find indian women are faithful to their husbands even if the husband is not faithful and because of that the husband will come back to his wife for being faithful

Answer 9

this used to be the case but i feel that if the man helps out about the house then there should not be a problem with the in-laws cause what have they got to moan about. the world is changing and in India woman can get jobs too.....but it takes time for the older generations to see that we can all be hunter gatherers.

Answer 10

Vedic culture explains that a woman have 4 duties

a) Feeding the family
b) Breeding the children
c) Guiding her husband
d) Loving all

I think if anyone tries to detach her from these four duties; she wil be ferocious.

As per my close observation; irrespective of rich & poor; or educated& uneducated; or employed & housewives.....etc.
all indian women never tolerate alien interfierence inside her kitchen. They maintain their territory in possesive act.

No one will be happy by keeping thier wives outside the kitchen.

(There may be exceptions)