I’m a virgin and abstaining from sex till marriage. I was wondering what happens if I fall in love with a partner who’s had lots of sex and didn’t wait? What if they have kids? Would I likely be jealous if my ideal partner didn’t wait for me and has kids?
2007-05-17 23:39:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I respect your decision to stay a virgin till marriage,very nice!
Love is to accept the person as he is,If you would love someone truly you have to accept his past and what he is!
First and foremost you have decided to wait for your ideal one and commit to him after your married,so u too would get the one who thinks on same lines as you do!
Lets assume you get the one as you described in your question,you have to lead a new life with ,dumping both of your past events behind and most important is both of you would stay together for the rest of your life,so why be jealous about something that happened in his past!
Life is unpredictable and I always believe "expect the unexpected".Life is a mystery just let it unveil with time and accept it as it is!
2007-05-18 00:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by rhea 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's good for you if this is what you decide to do but the chances are in this day and age that whoever you end up marrying will have been in a sexual relationship before they meet you. There are not many people who think the way that you do.
There's no accounting for who or when you fall in love. If they are your ideal partner, then surely by definition whatever their past, it is immaterial to you. How would they have known to save themselves just in case you came along?
I think you should take everything as it comes (if you pardon the pun!). You won't know until you meet Mr/Miss Right what their past is and how you will feel but it is always best in any case when starting a new relationship to draw a line in the sand where your previous relationships ended and then continue on anew in your own relationship otherwise you become bogged down and obssessed, comparing yourself to their previous partner(s), which is a very self-destructive way to live.
2007-05-17 23:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fair play to you for making this decision.
The chances are you will fall in love with someone who has had sex with other people. It's a fact of life. Nothing you can do about it, just accept it. Same with the kids thing, all you can do is accept it and get on with things.
Are you the jealous type? Then you will be jealous no matter what your partner has done. Sorry, but a leopard doesn't change its spots.
2007-05-17 23:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, thats pretty hard.
HAH
wot am i talkin about, thats wot im gonna do too. I believe in waiting for marriage *the result of being brought up christian*, ive thought about it too. In some Pacific Island cultures,the women are to abstain til marriage, but are lookd down upon and disgraced if they don't. Although the men sometimes do have sex before marriage it is never talked about and its not much of a dishonour if they don't have children. However, if they do, it is a bit of a disgrace on family. I rekon that u shouldn't be jelous. If u love the man then u shud love his kids. Don't be jelous of him not waiting for u, memba, he probly thort that he was doing good in his marriage, if he was married and wouldn't kno if he were to divorce. But whatever happens, go with tha flow.
2007-05-17 23:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by vongi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your personality. I have been happily married 23 years and have only had one sexual partner ever. He had multiple partners before me. I had some issues with that, but we dealt with them BEFORE marriage or kids. I don't think I could have handled kids from a previous relationship, but that's just me. Good luck and congratulations on your decision. People don't think virginity matters, but surprisingly, I think that my morality was what my husband actually fell in love with first. When he got serious about a real life-partner....an "until death do us part thing" he wanted someone who wanted that too.
2007-05-17 23:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone has the same view as you. Just because a woman alrady has kids from a failed relationship, doesn't mean she isn't worthy of love anymore. It will be harder for you but if you love her and things are great, go for it!!!
I( respect that you are keeping your options open and not being so closed minded on the topic. It's good you are open to a relationship with people that don't share the same view.... it's great!!!
2007-05-17 23:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm First off i am happy to hear that you are waiting..it's nice to know that a FEW nice ladies or men still exist.you can't expect the person you fall for to be a virgin also though..But i would not let your dreams go, just because they're not or they pressure you to have sex...I would find a person who would respect your wishes..trust me some people still think waitng is the best, and this will make you the ideal mate to take home to mommy and daddy..
2007-05-17 23:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by cutegirlin_tn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think he/she would be your ideal partner if they already have kids and you are waiting. By all means wait and good for you! But when you fall in love, all these sensible analytical questions just go out of the window. Fall in love first - then you will know if it matters or not.
2007-05-17 23:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should have relationship of sexual intercourse before marriage most of the time people will say its for leisure but most times if you really love him youll love it its a sign most of the time but i recomend a 3 month wait or something around that and use a condom dont bring a child into the world with the HUGE problem with his parents just being boyfriend and girlfriend
Got youre man call him over lie on your bed and get ready for the joy and to see if you love him
2007-05-17 23:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's entirely up to you if you want to wait until you are married. I personally didn't and am glad I didn't because you are not always compatible physically with people which is unfortunate if you've just married them! I can't help but feel the latter part of your question shows you are a bit unrealistic about how relationships work.
2007-05-18 00:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jackie S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋