Been seeing her since December. Her father died last July and she became a little upset on each date, was even pretty tetchy at times, at the time I did not understand her loss. On Valentines she tells me there is somebody else, she has to resolve things, see how she feels, I say bye. She met him online, he suffered bereavement and said "some heavy things". But we keep in contact. One month later and she's back, he is not what she expected. All the dates are strained as her grief seems more acute, she tells me I don't know how to react. I read up on grief to try and understand. The whole thing wears me out, our last two dates are fraught as she shows high emotion. She suggests a month break, no contact. I leave her a book on grief, a mistake probably. I email her to find out how she is, no reply. I ask if I should move on, she says we should be friends. She sends book as "Olive Branch". I email thanks and ask how she is, she says busy! But she wants to watch football with me next week!
2007-05-17 23:37:35 · 17 answers · asked by crazy fool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like she's having a pretty hard time. Your decision should be do you think she's worth it?
2007-05-17 23:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Darlin - move on.
She is consumed with grief at the moment and has
not time for any other emotions. Obviously she thought
the other guy was for her because they were both suffering
a bereavement. If you need a break so soon into a
relationship doesn't this tell you something? It was kind
of you to leave her a book. When my dad and mom passed
away I would have been heartened at such a gesture.
You should make your excuses about watching the football
together. Because she is giving you mixed messages and
it is not fair on you. She probably does not know what she
wants. Good Luck. Minxy.
2007-05-18 06:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by Minxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that she just wants you as a friend and if you want more and feel she is worth all the aggro then tell her how you feel and see what happens.If it is that she wants a "relationship" with you she will let you know especially if she thinks she is losing you.Play it cool,don't contact her, wait for her to ring you , and see what happens.You sound a really nice guy, get out there and have some fun while you while you are waiting, don't let her grief drag you down matey.
2007-05-18 06:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by bevalou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a head wrecker. Just move on mate, you never knew her father and even in her grief she should be able to stand on her own 2 feet before dumping it all on someoneshe's just met. Stay pals for a bit then let it fizzle out naturally she's too much drama if you ask me. you did more than anyone would do and she's still a bit funny. go get a new girl. good luck.
2007-05-18 06:44:23 · answer #4 · answered by . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs to get over her grief over her father first before she can move on and live her life. Give her time, give her space. Just be there for her, she may be bi*chy, then cold, then want to hang out, and then need space.
The best book I've read for university, "On Death and Dying" by Kubler-Ross. Try and read it, it is very informative. Something everything should read.
2007-05-18 06:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can not resolve her grief - only she can. She can not resolve how you feel - only you can. To be together to focus on grief, will only result in one thing - more grief - this is guaranteed.... so, enough grief!
My advice - Send her a message to say "Call me when you want to hang out together and have fun - when you want a happy time, think of me" (no more grief!).
But you also need to be clear about one thing - although compassion should always be one of the strongest human traits, it is not your mission on this earth to save someone else, it is your job to love yourself and to fill your life with what YOU want - love happiness fulfillment etc.
She (and, of course you yourself) needs to move past her recent tragedy. Her father's journey on this physical plain has ended, hers and yours have not. Try to make the relationship positive, if this fails, move on.
Love and peace.
Mac2martin
2007-05-18 06:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by mac2martin 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At this stage so early in your relationship she should be over the moon ! in the first flush of love & happy to have you & be with ? This sounds like you are being used for when i feel like it times ? cant imagine that this relationship will ever flourish between you mate ? If this is doing your head in ? as i suspect ? maybe its time to say good luck & goodbye ? As for the other guy ? Dont you think you were second best at the time ? Who wants to be second best ? You need to wash your hands of this woman before she really breaks your heart & find someone who wants & needs you ! Good luck mate !
2007-05-18 06:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by kevin y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is taking the piss move on man... she likes the attention do u really wanna put up with this poor behaviour. shes an adult and knows exaclty what shes doing? you sound like a nice guy and shes taking advantage of your kindness just let know her know that you wont settle for second best and as long as you know you hadnt nothing wrong in fact did alot of right, tried to make it work but ruined every time`..
There are so many pretty girls out there who are looking for a guy just like you, if you still wish to talk to her then go ahead but because she doesnt end up destroying you sound like shes trying to control u slowly..
take care hun xx
2007-05-18 07:16:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah give her the red card mate what happens when she connects with the next guy who can emphatise with her another month break your better off taking control of the situation and not have anything to do with her and dont be an asshole and use her for sex thats not going to help anyone if you cut your ties and run she might snap out of it and then you can build with her but the way it is nothings getting dealt with you need a break dude so take it
2007-05-18 06:46:38 · answer #9 · answered by samman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like she is depressed from the death and a little manic depressive Her emotions are all over the place I suggest she gets counseling immediately Give her time and space to work on her self
2007-05-18 06:51:40 · answer #10 · answered by chameleon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People take the mickey out of me when I say the one true religion and healer of all ills is football. Sounds like I might be right after all. Enjoy the CL Final with her, careful who you cheer for until you see who she's supporting.
2007-05-18 06:45:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋