Unequally yoked? anyone have a story about how you met someone nonChristian and it ended up working out?

Question

can anyone share a story about how you met someone that was non Christian and that person and you ended up together?

i have met someone that i believe God led me to, but he's not
Christian. i don't plan on going out with him if he doesnt' become a Christian, but any stories/thoughts would be appreciated.

Answer 1

When I met my husband, he was very much an athiest. He had had a rough time growing up, and had decided it was all a load of poo. I had a very rough time with it, but tried not to think about it too much. When he proposed, I was terrified.... do I want to spend my life with a person who denies a central part of my life. After prayer and more prayer, I accepted. After we married, I continued to go to church without him. Once our girls came along, I had them baptized. Yes, he stood next to me, but not sure what he thought, except it makes her happy.
I did finally tell him that I wanted him to go to church with me, but he didn't have to actively participate. Just go! So... he went. Then next thing I know, he's singing hymns with us. Then he's following the liturgy. I'm not saying this was a quick progression... it wasn't. And there was no badgering or nagging on my side.
We started dating in 1984, married in 88. He started going to church with us in 98. In 2002, he started meeting with our pastor during lunch and asking questions. (I found this out later) Evidently, lots of questions! In 2004, he was baptized. Big surprise! Like I said, I didn't know he had been talking with pastor!
That evening after our girls were in bed, we sat down and had a long talk. After seeing how I and most of our friends lived their lives, and how we dealt with happiness and sorrow, he decided something was missing. And our new pastor seemed to be speaking directly to him every Sunday. There was just something about it, and he wanted it!! So, after 18 months of talk and prayer and questioning and learning, he was ready to give himself over.
It was a long road, and evidently one that was meant to happen. But, he had to come to that decision without me forcing it... it was between him and God.

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words. St. Francis of Assisi

Answer 2

My story is the other way around. I am an Atheist and my current boyfriend is a Catholic. he goes to mass every week with his family. His mother doesn't like me much, because I am the spawn of the devil apparently.

We do not worry about that though. He is a good person, and so am I. We love each other for more than just our one belief in the existence or non-existence of God.

We actually met on a humanitarian trip in Africa, he was a doctor for medecins sans frontieres, and I was volunteering, helping to build huts and farms for refugees for three months.

I don't expect him to give up his beliefs, and he doesn't expect me to change mine. That is what love is about. You can't say I will only love someone if they are this or that. If you believe that God led you to this man, then he did so for a reason.

Do you trust your God so little, that he would lead you somewhere that you are not meant to go?

Answer 3

I am a what many would call unequally yoked.
I am SDA & my hubby is a non attending Protestant. He has a faith in God &the like, just doesn;t believe in going to church because of the differing values a church bodiy holds to.
I have now been married for 7 years, we have 2 children, he still hasn't changed his views about church, but will help with our children by going with our youngest to Sabbath School (Sort of like Sunday School), so I can attend the adult classes.
You cannot force people to change or becaome something they ar not, but the bible does tells us that the unbeliever is covered by your prayers & grace whilst you are with them.
It also points out the problems that can occur from being with someone of a none-believeing background (more people walk away because of this than any other problem)
I gave up the dating game, told God if he wanted me to marry to find someone, and left it at that, within days of that prayer my hubby asked me out on a date. (and everytime I went to try to get out of it & tell him I wasn't interested, my mouth opened & said yes!) so now we are where we are today. There have been many rocky roads that have been cause by the both of us, but if God has designed you to be with this person, & you are letting God lead the way, you can find yourself in many interesting places, and witness many wonderful mircales.

Answer 4

Yes, I dated a non-Christian, or at least someone who was not a religious fanatic like I was. I was already on the path to freedom, but she helped me to see life and the world in a far more balanced and rational way. We now live happily as man and wife, and have for over 10 years, without being burdened by the guilt and fear that fundamentalist fanaticism breeds.

Good luck to you too in your own search for love, peace and truth.

Answer 5

Wow, you meet a guy. You think your god led you to him.. must mean he's pretty special. but he's not a Christian....

Why waste a chance at something simply because he doesn't meet one criteria? It's a pretty narrow view, don't you think? Rather limits your choices.

I have met people who had different religions and they were fine. I have met people who had different philosophies on life and they were fine. My husband likes to get up early and go to bed early, and I sleep all morning and stay up all night. He puts ketchup on his eggs, and I think it's disgusting. He drives in the "fast" lane, and I like to keep it nice and slow to the right. We are fine. If I wanted the "perfect" guy, I'd be alone.

Answer 6

The couple of people I know who married non-Christians....their spouses still haven't become Christians.
Some have had kids, too. I am sure it has caused problems, but they are still together.
Can you live with a person that doesn't share one of your deepest most precious beliefs?
You can still date the guy in good conscience. Dating is a good way to learn more about yourself and the person you want to marry. It isn't just to find the "one". Just proceed with caution.

Answer 7

As sure is God as my judge, God (the True God of the Bible) does NOT and would NOT EVER lead anyone who is a TRUE Christian into a relationship with a person who is NOT a True Christian. Why would He do that? God, is God of love, a God of order, and a God of logic, not chaos! You should pray in the true Spirit of God for His answer before you commit yourself to a relationship that will ultimately fail. If your life is totally surrendered to God's Will, then God will not let your relationship with an unbeliever work out. You would be willfully going against His Will for you and that in itself draws a threat of discipline from Him. This is a Fact. God does not lead His true saints to "potential Christians" in the hope that they may one day come to believe. It is not in God's character to work this way. Remember, It is not what you want for your life, but what God wants for your life. And God knows what's better for you, than you do.

Answer 8

Dear smileygirl,

i think your familiarity with the term "unequally yoked" suggests that you understand that God is quite clear that believers and non-believers are not to be unequally yoked. So your belief that God is leading you to someone -- would also mean that you believe that God is violating His own word. Please don't confuse your personal desires with the voice of God.

That being said- i will tell you that i've known of some couples where that is the case and later the other spouse came to faith. But that is just God's grace. God will never use disobedience to accomplish His will. He will however, take our broken circumstances and bring good out of it. So understand (and i know especially in matters of the heart) that we just tend to do what we want to do.

i say this as someone who was a non-believer who came to Christ by dating a believer. Eventually it didn't work out and i think personally it was hard for both of us especially because when the relationship went bad- it affected our relationship with Christ (ie: she stopped going to church for a period of time).

All this to say that you're getting by on a technicality. If he accepts Christ just to date you- what will he think of Christ if it doesn't work out? You want him to know Jesus and love Jesus first- not base his love for Jesus based upon his love for you. For me personally i ended up loving God more than her, and i'm quite thankful for that.

I've also seen other cases where the non-Christian never comes around and especially when they have kids it can create a lot of difficulty. One spouse wants the kids to go to church on Sunday, the other wants to take them fishing or to the mall. One wants the kids to go on summer missions, the other wants the kids to attend summer school.

Anyhow i pray that you really seek the Lord and not just compromise. If you truly believe that God has a perfect person for you- than know that part of God's plan in bringing a man and woman together is so that they can grow together in Him, and especially as a young woman- you should know that the man's job is to lead you spiritually and so you must respect His walk with the Lord (not just that he confesses the Lord) because you are to submit to Him.

Hope that helps.

Kindly,

Nickster

Answer 9

I'm kind of backwards, I was the non-religious one. I would always ask why he would be with me since I wasn't religious. His parents feared I would turn him atheist too.
So actually he helped me with "finding God" and it's all working out.

Answer 10

Maybe God is leading you to this person---maybe this person is following the right path!