STAND UP MATERIAL:
One Friday my dad gave me $10 dollars and told me to have a "good time"! I'm like I couldn't even put a good time in layaway with $10! He's like "your young go find you something entertaining to do!" Find something entertaining, in Oklahoma? Look the only thing that Oklahoma has that's entertaing is the electronic area in Wal-Mart!
Please comment and tell me what you liked best!
Be completely honest and give construction ideas, I've performed this before and had the crowd roaring with laughs!
2007-05-17 16:10:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
sorry, I didn't even crack a smile. The part about putting a good time in layaway was kind of cute, but predictable, juvenile, and the whole thing sounds forced.
2007-05-17 16:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by R & R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm... I like the set-up. The idea is funny.
I guess I've never been to Oklahoma. I don't think Wal-Mart is exciting.
I think a funnier last line would be : "Look, the only thing that Oklahoma has that's entertaining is the electronic area in Wal-Mart. I mean, with all the flashing lights and beeps it's almost like a rave!"
2007-05-17 23:14:39 · answer #2 · answered by laleela 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the "I couldn't even put a good time in layaway with $10" line, but your delivery better be hysterical to pull off the "electronic area in Wal-Mart!" line.
Maybe you can come up with something sillly at Wal-Mart.
I worked at a Wal-Mart in Granbury, Texas. Once in a while someone would come up to me and ask what people did in Granbury for fun. "Your doing it!"
Once someone said "I just moved here from Fort Worth (1 hour away). What do you do here for fun? "
"Go to Fort Worth."
2007-05-17 23:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by Smart Kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much did the crowd have to drink before you did this.
And I would think that in Oklahoma the only entertainment would be the sheep......
2007-05-17 23:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by bernman101 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A shock ending would be better. Something like..he told me to find something entertaining so I kicked his cane into his bum leg then watched him hobble after me as I stole his wallet.
The whole bit is pretty whiny though unless you are exclusively performing for Junior high kids.
On a side note...Go Husker's.
2007-05-18 14:35:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan_Hood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a punch line or am I supposed to come up with something on my own?
Sorry, you asked for honesty and I honestly started reading the second paragraph expecting to find the punch line there.
Since you have had success with it, all I can say is that perhaps your delivery adds something to it that I am not reading into it.
Bottom line, if it ain't broke don't fix it.
2007-05-17 23:26:49 · answer #6 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad. I guess it would be more funny with people who live in Oklahoma than anywhere else
2007-05-17 23:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by .Ashley. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The crowd must have been drunk, stoned, or from Oklahoma....
2007-05-17 23:13:25 · answer #8 · answered by vhilt17 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a fan of stand up comedy, but it is funny and well though out (i think)
2007-05-17 23:14:05 · answer #9 · answered by ♥{puεrtoяicaи. аиgεl}♥ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes
2007-05-18 00:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by eff_few 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋