My boyfriend has had serious finanical problems in the past. The biggest was before we meet and when we had first started dating. He seems to clean up his act for a while; but I suspect he's started the same bad habits again. I'm worried these finanical problems while put him into debt again.
He's so secretive too. I've asked him about it, but he denies. He would never admit it. He's very good about hiding his little "problem" too. No one seems to know what he's doing with his money until it's too late.
I love him very much. I don't want to see him self destruct. I'm also a bit selfish. We've been dating for 3 years and I would love to get married. But, I need to know this problem is over with. I can't marry someone that is finanical unstable.
What should I do?
2007-05-17 15:33:34 · 6 answers · asked by Answer Girl 2007 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
money is one of the main arguments and killers of marriages... both partners need to be financially responsible and open about their finances and spending habits... if you know beforehand there's a problem, by all means, don't get married... suggest financial counseling to your bf (consumer credit type agency) ... they can help him develop a budget and learn how to spend/save his money wisely... but, the bottom line is it's his responsibility and he has to do the work... if everything else in the relationship is great, then i'd make sure he knows it and that the financial aspect is the only thing that's worrying you because you have wonderful dreams for the both of you, and together you can achieve this... good luck! (and make sure you keep your finances separate for now and that you aren't "taking care" of him) ... being concerned about money is not selfish, it's the mature, grown-up thing to do!
2007-05-17 15:42:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off don't get married until you find out the total pic of his money dealings. once you are married you are on the hook for what he has done in the past as far as loans well in so much as it will make your ability to buy things tough . money is a big reason for breakups. you have to know what is up with this money before you go any further . if he keeps the secret life going then let him live it in secret by himself.
2007-05-17 15:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you guys have been together that long and you still don't know were his money goes then there is a problem.And if he doesn't answer your questions about it and you feel that he is lying then he probly is. if he cant break a bad habit i wouldn't marry him. you dont want to put yourself throw something that will mess up your life. i would take a break and see where it goes. if he seriously loves you and want to spend the rest of his life with you he will change. just talk to him.give him an ultimatum.
2007-05-17 15:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by tessa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do. If your thinking of sneaking and trying to find out about him...you should just dump him now.
2007-05-17 15:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not being selfish! as an adult thats something you dont want...you should get him help! once the problems fixed maybe you can trust him
2007-05-17 15:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by Hazard Lyons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably scared that you're going to dump him once you know he is poor. can you blame him for being secretive? help each other out.
2007-05-17 15:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by aishah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋