"You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of your girdle"
She is very cross & upset, but says nothing.
The next morning the bloke wakes her up in bed with a tweak on the boob & says " You know, if you firmed these up a bit we could get rid of your bra"
The wife is angry now, so she rolls over & grabs hold of his p*n*s.
With a deathly grip & through gritted teeth she says
"You know, if you firmed THIS up, we could get ris of the milkman, the gardener, the odd-job man & your brother!"
2007-05-17 14:37:56 · 18 answers · asked by funnygirl 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
great gags from alo - cheers for that!
And YEY! wagon's back on board! Welcome back wagon!
2007-05-17 14:58:27 · update #1
hahahaaha funny
"Do you know the worst place to be in a major earthquake? In a hospital operating room getting a vasectomy. Do you know the best place to be? A Hooters restaurant."
This guy is going through a nasty divorce. One night he's sitting at a bar getting plastered. Suddenly he raises his head, looks over his shoulder to his left and yells, "You women are all bitches!" then goes back to staring into his drink.
Five minutes later he raises his head looks over his shoulder to his right and yells, "You women are all whores!"
To that a women stands up and says, "I am not a whore!"
The guy keeps looking at his glass and says, "Then get to the other side."
One day a couple was sitting around a table discussing all the good and bad times they had together in their marriage. After a while the husband goes to the wife: "I'll bet you can't tell me something that is good and bad at the same time."
So the wife thought to herself for a while and then replied: "Well you've got a bigger penis than your brother's"
"My daughter lives in a penthouse apartment in Miami ," reports Sadie to her friend Sophie. "She goes out to dinner every night at a different restaurant, has beautiful furs and clothes, and lots of boyfriends."
"How interesting!" Sophie replies. "My daughter's a whore, too."
"Okay, class, we're going to play a game today," said the third grade teacher. "I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."
She then goes around the room asking each child.
Mikey says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework."
The teacher says, "Very good, Mikey."
Clair says, "The sky is very dark, perhaps it's going to rain."
The teacher says, "Very good, Clair."
Little Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna **** on the piano."
A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem, only you've got to promise not to laugh."
The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 20 years of being a doctor I've never laughed at a patient."
"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers.
The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor.
Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me. I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."
Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly a passenger jet screams past them. One eagle says to the other, "Wow, did you see how fast that thing was moving?"
The other replies, "Yeah. You'd move fast too if you had three butt holes and they were all on fire!"
Do you know why men are so concerned about the size of their penises? Because they should be.
2007-05-17 14:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
Well it's been around for a long time but still funny
2007-05-17 15:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who said women can't tell jokes ? Keep 'em coming girl.
2007-05-17 14:46:41 · answer #3 · answered by Tracker 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ouch! lol! 10!
2007-05-17 14:41:41 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
excellent joke keep them coming.
2007-05-17 14:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Fran T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha! I'm guessing what the odd-job man does... :)
2007-05-17 14:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Dancer_for_life 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it. lol but if were me I'd cut off!!
2007-05-17 14:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by Steff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lunch ready for me yet!
2007-05-17 14:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha..jokes I love to hate...
2007-05-17 14:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol good one, he deserved it
2007-05-17 14:41:58 · answer #10 · answered by flatteredwu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋