Should I bother asking this girl out?

Question

I've had this crush on this girl on/off again for a couple of months now. I suppose I'm ok friends with her, especially since I was invited to her Sweet 16, and she's really nice and somewhat flirtatious towards me. Does flirting usually mean if a girl likes you? Or if they're really just spontaneous? I'm not sure if she's actually flirting with me, or she just does this to her other guy friends, even though I can't really think of anyone else to fit into that gap.

I know a lot of you are already thinking to just ask her out and see what happens. But what a lot of you are missing is that I've asked out 2 other girls in the past, and I was denied twice. With the first girl, to this day I regret asking her out, because it was a humiliating point in my life that people even bring up to me to this day, and I feel awkward whenever passing that girl.

The 2nd time, I became good friends with her, and I still am, but that's it.

Now with this girl, I'm actually contemplating whether or not to ask her out. The reasons for this include the fact that if she says no, I would just feel crushed, being denied once again. It would seriously bring my morale down a couple of steps in every way. Then another part of me makes me think, "Hey man, the third time's a charm. Just go for it."

I don't know if it's just me, but I try to put myself in her shoes mentally, seeing if I'm even the type of guy she would like. I guess I would be there to make her laugh a lot of times, and I'm sometimes there for her to just talk. But I question whether I'm just a friend to her or something more. Because I tend to think a lot of the time if I'm actually just a casual school friend, and nothing more.

Sorry guys if I'm making a huge deal out of this, but I would appreciate it if you did not make fun of me for this predicament I'm in.

And let's say if she does say no to me, I suppose I can live with it, but what I would be worried about is how would I face her in the future? I mean if I completely ignore her afterwards, she would know I feel crushed, and she would feel terrible about it. If I come on too strong, letting her know I'm ok with the rejection, and remaining good friends with her, I might just annoy the crap out of her.

That makes me even worried now, if I'm ever annoying to her sometimes.

And then there's the people who would overhear this whole predicament, and never leave me alone about it, since a lot of us are in the same classes, and gossip would travel fast. It would especially suck since this one person I would think of would be such an *** to me about it.

I actually do feel rushed in this situation for 2 reasons. 1. Someone said that the longer I wait, the more it'll seem that I'm just friends.

2. I've became friends with her through this school year, because she's in a few of my classes, where we sometimes talk together in groups or joke around, whatever. I barely get any time with just us talking, so I might not even have an ideal time to ask her. And I try to not sound awkward or random by starting off our conversations about school, complaining about a teacher, me making a joke about it, and then talking regularly, and listening to her.

With the school year coming to an end, I have no idea if we will be in the same classes next year, and I wouldn't have much to talk about, or at least to begin my conversations.
I don't know how to ever get a chance to hang out with her as friends outside school, even though I really want to. I'm not really friends with her friends, and asking to hang out w/ just her would seem weird at this stage

Answer 1

Don't let them turning you down bring your self confidence down. You are a special guy who will make one lucky lady feel special one day. I would suggest that becoming friends first is the best way. That way you get to know her as a person and if things develop into a relationship, it would be twice as nice. Ask her out as friends and tell her you want to get to know her better as a friend. I am dating someone I was friends with for two years. It is so much better to be friends first.

You will get those who turn you down, that is natural. It just means they were not the ones for you. Ask out as friends only first and see where it leads.

Here is a website on ten tips for approaching women:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/594/10-tips-for-approaching-women-with-confidence;_ylc=X3oDMTJnMHY0NjQ1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawMxMC10aXBzLWZvci1hcHByb2FjaGluZy13b21lbi13aXRoLWNvbmZpZGVuY2UEenoDYWJj
What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do?
When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them.
Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her.
Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time:
1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.
Make your comment immediate to the situation
Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on.

2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport.
3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it.
4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk.
5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you.
6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this.
7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast.
8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence.
9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like "
I hope you saved some turkey for me
I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations.
10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself.
The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power.

Answer 2

Well, first I wouldn't take rejection so personally.

Think of it this way. Are you demanding that these girls go out with you? Since, not accepting no for an answer in your heart to me says you do demand it.

Would you understand if someone says no that it's not a refection on your personal worth. It may be they are looking for something else but it has little to do with you. I have not liked people in the past but thought they are attractive fine people.

Would you respect a girl that would go out with anyone that asked her? Society judges girls for going out with anyone and everyone. So don't expect a girl to go out with everyone that asks her. Girls get asked more than boys realize. Sometimes daily. So, they can't go out with everyone. So understand that girls have a lot of opportunity to date and they have to pick and chose what's best for them.

Good luck with your friend and in asking her out. Remember you will meet someone and date someone very special someday. There is no need to be in a hurry. Keep trying if you get rejected. Maybe, don't try getting to be such good friends in advance. So, you don't have so much to lose. But, you sound like someone that can have a great relationship when it's time.

Answer 3

How will she ever know how you feel about her, if you don't tell her?

Being rejected is a part of life. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Just means they don't have the same attraction you do.

If you are rejected, look for some one else. There are a lot of people in the world to chose from and you will find some one who won't reject you, some one who feels the same attraction.

You don't want someone who doesn't want you right?

Answer 4

Well I think if she is flirtacious she has some feelings for you and if your their to talk that adds to the chances of you getting her. This is quite a predicament because if you wait it out and just stay as "the friend" she will look at you as just that. But if you ask her then she might reject you. I say go for it because if she doesn't show interest in any of the other guys then your the man!

Answer 5

Well, I'm split on this, so you shall hear from my inner optimist and my inner pessimist.

Optimist: Third time's a charm! You never know unless you try. Could be she really likes you! The worst thing that can happen is you get turned down, maybe embarrassed, but life goes on.

Pessimist: Flirting doesn't necessarily mean she likes you. I have a boyfriend, but I've been told I flirt with other guys. I don't like-like anyone except for my boyfriend, so it could be she's a "natural flirt", and doesn't realize she's flirting.

Answer 6

you are lucky i felt like reading that manifesto, cause i got the perfect plan,,, first you have to get here number,, then get some of your buddies to get together and do something cool, try and get other females involved so she won't be the only girl there, and make the event something fun, like going to a swimming pool, or a bombfire, you know fun stuff whatever, then you call her up, say hi ( her name here) me and my friends do you know ( state friends names, especially the girls that are going) any way we're going to all go and (state event preferrably pool) and i was wondering if you wanted to partake, she answers, if yes cool buy a case of bottled beer and cheap wine, and wait the beauty of the whole thing is it's not a date, but women being how they are will tell you if they're attracted to you, then you're on your own,,, if her answer is no, just remember to call her anytime something cool is going on, that makes you seem cool and fun, and if nothing ever comes of it, you've invested nothing but a few phone calls

Answer 7

Dude you are way stressin on this too hard for a 16 year old guy. Let me tell you, girls don't flirt with guys they aren't attracted to unless they are just skanks. So ask her out and if she says no, then atleast you will see her true colors. Even if she does say no, girls LOVE guys to ask them out even if they don't want to go out with him. It's an ego booster we can never get enough of! Good Luck! And just remember, you only live once. Something could happen like she could move or something, and you will have never known, what could have been! GO FOR IT!

Answer 8

i can see your predicament.... the best way is to just ask her and see what she says.... but if you are willing to wait a bit, spend some time with her get to know her more, get interested in what is going on with her see how she feels about certain things...etc...... then if you think it is right ask her, if not then you can always stay as good friends

Answer 9

ok well u said u liked her on and off, maybe u dont even like this girl. maybe u just want someone to hold :) seems like u just want to be friends with her the way u babbel on about it. i have never seen a guy right this much. if u do want to go out with her throw hints out to her and maybe she'll ask...!

Answer 10

everyone is going to bee turned down more than once,
it's life, you just have to take chances because if you don't,
you will never know what you missed,
you also never know if it would've worked out or not.

don't be in the situation where later you think
should've, could've, would have