in a dark and scary place...?

Question

Three years ago my boyfriend who broke it off by cheating on me, and having his new lover move into our apt before I moved out... now, three years later I have been back in my hometown just working. I have no friends, or any interest in making any. I come home to my ghetto apt everyday after work and either get stoned or zone out to video games. When I'm not distracting myself I cry uncontrollably, and wish someone were there to listen or to put their arm around my shoulder and help me. I'm gay, my family is extremely homophobic and I don't feel safe turning to them.... or anyone for that matter. I feel incapabile of doing anything to remedy this. I'm not suicidal, just lost, lonley and in a dark and scary place. I have disturbing nightmares about vacant lots, being accused of terrible crimes and running from the man, and men with no faces who want to hurt me... and if I'm not stoned then I don't sleep at all.

This is a living hell, now what?

Answer 1

this is hell and it is called addiction. I promise to be the last one to preach about how drugs are bad and yada yada. like we don't already know it. what you are doing is settling into your comfort zone. sounds to me like you may have a little agoraphobia and social anxiety. this is common these days. i have it myself.no matter what you think there are people who care about you every second of everyday. you just don't see it or you try to not see it. you have to break out of that comfort zone somehow. send me a message if you need to. i will be alot more compassionate than some of the others on here. get better soon.....

Answer 2

*Pats on shoulder* there, there.

Stop the drugs- make some friends- get your life back.

You're going to have to deal with the pain sooner or later...you don't want to drug yourself into oblivian.

I have vivid dreams if I play video games late into the night as well..relax. You probably don't feel safe around anyone because you were cheated on. Although its tempting, you cant let that bad experience ruin you.

This all sounds serious, you should talk to someone...or call a hotline...I dont know if they have one in the USA...but in Aust. they have things like Kids Help Line (a free and confidential, telephone counselling service for 5 to 25 year olds in Australia)

Answer 3

Gosh Greg, life is truly what you make of it..it is a pure funk you are in sweetie,..and it is really sad just to think of all the time being wasted...pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and save up some money and move...go for a long drive to a different town, doll up, and try to make some new friends...don't let the ignorance and cruelty of others win in destroying you and your feelings...God bless, and pray through Jesus for a better day...but don't waste any more time getting stoned...life could be a lot worse, really....prayer is all you really need luv

Answer 4

in my view i does no longer evaluate it a scary position even though it truly is darkish. I artwork(ed) at Shasta Caverns as a excursion guidance guide/Bus driver. dissimilar the different guides swore up and down that the position became haunted. diverse vacationers periodically might want to freak out. human beings might want to swear they stated ghosts, shadows, issues that weren't there. All it became, became the darkness taking area in tricks on the innovations. I used to close off each of the lights and walk into the caves in ideal darkness. that could freak out alot of persons. Out of about 20 worker's there became purely another guy that became terrified of the darkish and became keen to stroll by the finished cave excursion devoid of any lights on or flash lights.

Answer 5

Don't stone urself. Look, you don't need to cry yourself to tears, what you need to do is tell yourself that you're beautiful, and that there is someone out there, and ur boyfriend is too much of a horrible person to let someone like you go!

1) Go shopping
2) Go to the gym and work out ur tension
3) Get back out there, find ur love
4) Find a hobby, do something, don't sit home and slowly kill urself.

I know it is hard, but you need to do this for you. Your worth it!

Answer 6

you need to talk to someone! there are groups everywhere in which gays or bis can support each other. also Ive never meant a therapist that was homophobic, you have options. also sitting at home won't help even if you just sit in a coffee shop you will be more likely to be happy and maybe even met someone!

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 7

for one, not being interested in making friends won't help you any. go out and interact with other people. we are social beings. we need other people - for support, for guidance, for affirmation. don't sulk in your dark scary place all by yourself. look for people who can help you with what you're going through. look for people whom you can help with what they're going through.

if you're a "believer", pray. it helps.

thinking that you're incapable of doing anything to remedy your dilemma won't help you, too. as a matter of fact, YOU are the key player in finding a solution to your problem.

it might not be easy. but for starters, go out and make friends. choose your friends well. choose those who will have a positive impact in your life.

smile. think positive. spread the love!

Answer 8

Move out, and do something for yourself. Get rid of those drugs, they are only hurting you and making you more miserable.

You're not alone! Just hang in there, because things will get better.

Answer 9

me me me me! stop being so selfish and go help other people

Answer 10

please go see a doctor!