i really want to rake in the big bucks, and drive around in a rolls royce, and i figured the most sure fire way to do this is by becoming a televangelist. so how do i apply for that job?
2007-05-17 12:53:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Do like the others do ... Attach the title "Reverend" to your name and go out and :blahblah: about how the government is keeping people like you down, the government is out to get you, Decide on an international ministry name, Publishing a book would help ...
Lets see ... The last step would be to find a buddy of yours that works at a church. Have him let you in the auditorium when they are not using it. Borrow a video camera and tripod and you’re in business. You don’t even have to have people there. The viewers will never know the difference.
Just make sure you get really excited and sweat a lot. Always have a handkerchief that you pull out and wipe your forehead with. And remind the people every now and then that you are a bishop. Learn a few big words and use them a lot. Like propitiation.
Example: “Jesus is the propitiation for our sins.”
All you need is that and a few scriptures and your ready to make mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money.
And you’re on your way!
Its sad to be sure, especially for us who are Christians, but it looks that easy.
2007-05-17 13:11:01 · answer #1 · answered by thundercatt9 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Start telling people that conservative Christianity is the only true religion
2. Suggest that anybody you don't like will rot in hell for all eternity.
3. Go to a third world country and videotape yourself being nice to all the little childrens.
4. Make a commercial using the footage to demand people's money for the childrens.
5. Keep the money for yourself.
2007-05-17 21:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by seands11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on tv, spread false doctrine, and deny Acts 2:38
2007-05-17 20:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by Southern Apostolic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get yourself on t.v., know how to steal people's money and make it look like it was gonna be put to good use (be sure the masses don't know it's just to go to your pocket), get some crazy passion for the bible and believe that all non-christians are going to hell and make a point out of it.
2007-05-18 06:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must:
1.) Be good at stealing people's money.
2.) Go on the internet, memorize sermons and claim them as your own.
2007-05-17 19:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to much of a heart to stoop to that level
2007-05-17 20:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by Quantrill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of your heart and conscience first before doing the training.
2007-05-17 19:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by Pisces 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good agent.
2007-05-17 21:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on national television and read obscure random scripts, persecute gays, atheists, blacks and jews and you ll be rich in no time!
2007-05-17 19:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, lose your mind....
2007-05-17 20:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋