im really stressed out?

Question

i dont really know what to do to have a least a day to not worry about anything without getting drunk! my mum split with her boyfreind last month and tried to commit suicide but i managed to get a ambulance just in time! her heart stopped in the ambulance but they managed to get her back, she got back with this ******** boyfriend but now they'v just split agian and im scared incase she does it agian, i cant help but to think shes selfish as i have a four year old lil brither and she was going to leave us over this prat but i feel guilty! i also worry for my dad as he isnt well and termally ill with cancer and i love him so much. both my parents are alcoholics but dont live together but they both cause trouble when drunk. i love them so much and i cant help but worry all the time, i also have other problems but these are my main ones! can you tell me how to chill out for a bit! thanx

Answer 1

when you have alot of alcohol in your family it takes away from you. I know from experience that alanon works. This group is adult children of alcoholics and believe me the group do have alot in common with you. If your parents are not going to change then maybe this group can help you get threw it because you cant do it on your own. I am talking from experience.

Answer 2

I can only tell you this from my own experience.When someone is in an abusive relationship it is usually the victim who feels it was there fault, or that they could have done something better. I was with my daughters father for 6 1/2 years and I just recently had the courage to leave him. It took my dying Aunt to actually sit me down and have her last talk with me that made me promise her I would never go back. Also, about your father I send my sympathy my Aunt has cancer too, only 1 week left. It the hardest thing in the world to see someone you love and care about so much to be going through so much pain!Stay strong!!!!

Answer 3

I think you should call social service's for you and your brother, you both need a stabble enviroment to grow up in, which neither of your parents can provide at the moment.
you sound quite young, and drinking is not the answer, all you need to do is look at you mum, and ask yourself whether you want to turn out like her. broken messed up relationships, dependant on alcohol, or do you want a happy child hood learn about the world, get good qualifications to live in nice area have a good job, nice respecful partner and children yourself one day which you will be able to bring up alot better and in a better eviroment.
im being harsh on your parents i know, but your mum needs help and calling social services may just make her wise up!
this is for the good of you and your brother!
good luck &take care

Answer 4

what you need to realize is that it is not your responsibility to worry so much about your mother - even though you really love your parents - they can only change if they want to
you have to look out for yourself and your brother - no one should have to worry about their parents like that
parents are supposed to take care of their children, not the other way around
see if there is someone else you can talk to - a close friend or relative who is not an alcoholic - alanon works for some people too

Answer 5

You are worrying and obviously there are reason for that.

If you are in you teens my best advice is to detach yourself because basically your parents are useless (even though your father is terminally ill) they prefer to drink (and that may be for their reasons.)

You must not worry about your parents whatever they do or even think about them they might be here is five years if they are doing the same thing but where will you be.

You must organise yourself best as you can to concentrate on what you have to do. Your chores and your homework and if need be looking after you brother now and again. Talk to your friends and go out if you can. Vist your father and leave your mother to herself.

This was you have your mind on your goal to get a good job and get a partner and move out.

Answer 6

i know what u mean..my parents work so hard all the time..and my dad alwys smoke in the house!! and i smell second hand smokee =(
u have to talk to your mom and tell her she is being really silly. breaking up with a boyfriend is hard,but if he is a good boyfriend he would be willing to do anything for her..not making her sad and feel lonely and all. i think if she tries to kill herself again its going to give big affect to your brother and all..i think u should move to a relatives house or something..i have lots of stress over everything,dont worry take it easy step by step..first talk to your mom and tell her how u feel =) dont get too stressed out like me...relax and chill a bit..do something to relax yourself..but definetly never think of doing anything silly :] u will get through it hunn :D

Answer 7

i'm so sorry to hear all of this. you must be under a ton of pressure.

you can try taking a day off by relaxing at the spa
maybe get a massage, or other things like a mud bath
you can even go with your mum so you can talk about the situation (and keep an eye on her)

also, you can try going on a small shopping trip
you can go with your mum with this too

good luck with everything! hope this helps!

Answer 8

are you a christian? if so, go to a church and pray or you could go to a friend and talk to her/him how you feel. that way you will feel better. be strong. someone will truly be there to listen and understand you. you could also go the beach and feel the cool sea breeze in your face and enjoy the sea. and also try to relax and clear your mind for a while. or you could also have a star gazing in a clear night sky out your window or in the rooftop or in a field. that might be helpful. good luck! chill!

Answer 9

I am so sorry about your stress. Here is a big hug for you! And your Dad. I will pray for you and your family.

You should not feel guilty for what your mother is doing. It is her and not you. There are Al-anon meetings for children with alcoholic parents. I agree with you that suicide is not the answer, nor is drinking to drown your sorrows. You should talk to a counselor at your school. They can help you also. You can find something to do like running to help relieve stress. Some people find reading as a stress reliever. I found dancing to be a big stress reliever.

Here is a website that has a lot that might give you insight and possible things to talk about to your parents when they are sober. Be honest with them and communicate how you feel with them. Go out and be with your friends on occasion, depending on how old you are. Stick with your faith and be strong in your convictions. You can't solve their problems, but you can communicate and be honest with how you feel.

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+of+Alcoholics§ion=Facts+for+Families
A child in such a family may have a variety of problems:

Guilt. The child may see himself or herself as the main cause of the mother's or father's drinking.
Anxiety. The child may worry constantly about the situation at home. He or she may fear the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured, and may also fear fights and violence between the parents.
Embarrassment. Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home. The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.
Inability to have close relationships. Because the child has been disappointed by the drinking parent many times, he or she often does not trust others.
Confusion. The alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry, regardless of the child's behavior. A regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, does not exist because bedtimes and mealtimes are constantly changing.
Anger. The child feels anger at the alcoholic parent for drinking, and may be angry at the non-alcoholic parent for lack of support and protection.
Depression. The child feels lonely and helpless to change the situation.
Although the child tries to keep the alcoholism a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults, or friends may sense that something is wrong. Child and adolescent psychiatrists advise that the following behaviors may signal a drinking or other problem at home:

Failure in school; truancy
Lack of friends; withdrawal from classmates
Delinquent behavior, such as stealing or violence
Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches
Abuse of drugs or alcohol; or
Aggression towards other children
Risk taking behaviors
Depression or suicidal thoughts or behavior
Some children of alcoholics may act like responsible "parents" within the family and among friends. They may cope with the alcoholism by becoming controlled, successful "overachievers" throughout school, and at the same time be emotionally isolated from other children and teachers. Their emotional problems may show only when they become adults.

Whether or not their parents are receiving treatment for alcoholism, these children and adolescents can benefit from educational programs and mutual-help groups such as programs for children of alcoholics, Al-Anon, and Alateen. Early professional help is also important in preventing more serious problems for the child, including alcoholism. Child and adolescent psychiatrists can diagnose and treat problems in children of alcoholics. They can also help the child to understand they are not responsible for the drinking problems of their parents.

The treatment program may include group therapy with other youngsters, which reduces the isolation of being a child of an alcoholic. The child and adolescent psychiatrist will often work with the entire family, particularly when the alcoholic parent has stopped drinking, to help them develop healthier ways of relating to one another.

Answer 10

hi,
i feel you, be calm and please read what i am about to write, because it is the only solution i know.
first, there are lot of issues to be tackled, your parents are alcoholic and you are following there footstep by getting drunk.


friend, people often think alcohol is a problem solver, it is a big lie, it is a destroyer, it only destroy people by controlling them. if i may ask you why do you drink, i guess to take away your worries, after getting drunk, be honest, how do you feel? my point is that alcohol is not the solution to you problem, it is worsening it

my advice for your problem is to introduce you to a friend i know is able to help you, help your parent and you whole household, i am writing from experience, this friend of mine is the only best friend you can ever have, you can tell him all you worries and give them all to him his name is Jesus. Jesus is by your side, knocking at the door of you heart waiting for you to ask him to help you solve all your problem,

its easy just say lord Jesus come into my hear and help me, i cannot help myself, i am stressed out, forgive me of all my sins, i make you my lord and personal savior today. thank you for being my friend and my Savior- amen. look for a bible believing church to attend around you and if you need assistance, please contact me.
[e-mail]
http://www.free-counsell.page.tl/