What do you do about a picky 11 yr. old daughter who only eats certain foods and nothing else?

Question

There are alot of foods which I fix, which she does'nt like so most of the time it's hard to figure out what to make that she'll eat; For instance, most kids love pb & j sandwiches, hot dogs, spaghetti, mac & cheese, etc. and she does'nt like any of those foods. I want her to get enough nutrition, but the things she does like are'nt as good for her. I'd appreciate any advice given to change this situation, thanks!

Answer 1

I just heard someone talk about this the other day and I thought it was the coolest answer. There was this little boy who was a picky eater. One of the things he didn't like was spaghetti and his family was italian. So one night she fixed spaghetti, got everyone but him to the table, and began dinner. When he walked in he of course asked where his was. She told him that she knew he didn't like spaghetti so she didn't bother to call him in. He replied that he thought he could probably eat that spaghetti and so she fixed him a plate and obviously, he ate. The thing is to let them know that this is what's for dinner. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat. No child has ever starved to death voluntarily. I have always used that approach and my children pretty much eat anything.

Answer 2

I have 4 children who eat a HUGE variety of food. For me, picky eating was never an option in our family, but it doesn't come naturally to children, especially in the majority of children I know. The word picky is an understatement in describing most kids, and I believe allowing this sort of behavior to continue leads to unhealthy eating habits, obesity and nutritional imbalances and even illness.

Your daughter will not like this at first, but it DOES work and you will be doing her a favor in the long run. You are not a short order cook. You are the boss. You plan your meals, and prepare and serve them (with her help ideally!) and that is the end of the story. She does not HAVE to eat them, but that is all there is to eat, period.

From the time our children were 2 or 3, we served dinner, which was reasonable and good-tasting. While we did insist they at least TRY each item, they could technically choose to not finish the meal. We would then cover the plate and put it away and if they later asked for something to eat, I would tell them I would be happy to reheat what they left on their plate. But nothing else was allowed until the dinner was finished. I didn't carry it over from day to day of course, as that is extreme, but at the next dinner, the same rules applied. Your daughter WILL not starve to death, trust me. But, you do need to stop buying the junk, or she will simply sneak it. Keep healthy foods in the house and do not negotiate about your meals. There is no reason whatosever that an 11 year old should refuse the meals you cook, except that she's been able to do it before and it's habit for her.

It's a tough love approach, but our family is living proof that it works well! People are constantly amazed that my kids will eat artichokes, asparagus, plums, mangos, whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, bean soup, salads, fish, calamari, whatever I cook basically, because they have always lived in an environment where special meals are not made simply because of a finicky nature. It's a learned response and takes time, but it does work. Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok, you asked so be prepared to actually put in the time. Keep in mind that you buy and cook the food, not her. Keep in mind that being hungry does not feel good. Keep in mind (and this is the most important) she will not starve to death if she misses a few meals. Clean the house of what you don't want her eating. Fill it with things that are mom approved. Fix what you want to fix, but try to make it as close as possible to the things she does like to eat. Refuse to cook anything else. No snacks. Stay at home for the day or weekend and no restuarants or opportunities for sneaking food. Also, even when she does start eating right, don't buy the other stuff for a while and then only in moderation. One last thing, you have to be exhibiting the right eating habits as well. I know you will feel like a meanie and a horrible mommy, she will even tell you so, but in the long run you are helping her.

Answer 4

You ever notice there are no picky eaters in big familys?I am from a big family, we ate from our garden and never had junk food. I noticed real fast that if you have too many substitues like poptarts, waffels, frozed processed foods, they will never eat what you make, because they know they can just fall back on that junk. I have dealt with this same problem. Kids will not starve themselves, when she gets hungry enough she will eat what you make. She will buck up against you the first few days, but she is too old to be this picky, I would understand more if she was a toddler. Isnt it funny how we were so grateful for a bowl of chili growing up, and kids now days wont eat it. Well 3 of my 4 will eat almost everything I make, except for my 10 yr. old daughter, I'm going through this right now, and I am gonna be more stubborn than her. The key I think is finding out what she is preferring to eat, or if shes eating junk food too close to dinnertime, mine was sneeking and doing this. If the junk is not in the house, she will eat what you make eventually.

Answer 5

I have a picky 9 year old. She won't eat meat because she doesn't like the texture, and hasn't since she was first starting table foods. I thought she'd grow out of it, but...

When I cook dinner I try to make sure there is at least one thing she really likes to eat (not a different menu, mind you, but a side dish or salad or something) and then whatever else goes with the meal. She has to have at least one bite of everything being served and then can have an extra helping of the thing she likes best. If she won't eat a bite of everything being served she only gets one helping of her favorite food. Maybe if your daughter is hungry enough she'll eat what is being served (or at least taste it!). I'm not advising you to starve her, but we as moms know how much food a child needs.

Aside from that she gets a daily multi-vitamin and a protein drink to make sure she is getting all the nutrients she needs. This is a great idea for any child, but especially important for picky eaters.

I try never to battle over food. It gives it too much importance in life and can lead to eating disorders. My philosophy is, "Here's dinner. Eat it or don't. Next meal is breakfast." No bribes or threats. No special menus different from the rest of the family (a mom can only work so hard!) Make sure your child gets enough healthy food and supplements to maintain good nutrition and don't stress too much over variety. Avoid junk food as much as possible, especially if you have a picky eater on your hands.

Peer pressure is a wonderful thing, sometimes. If my daughter's friends tease her because she won't eat normal "kid" food like hot dogs and hamburgers she sometimes gives in and eats them to be part of the crowd.

Good luck!

Answer 6

So just because Jimmy likes this your kid will hate it, she must be shunned and she is not a normal kid. I hate PBJ snadwitchs, Hate hot dogs(The Hebrew National are the only kind I eat considering it isn't cow @sses and horse tails) spaghetti I somewhat like but most of the time I dislike it, I do love instant mac and cheese, though. She's actually a normal child. She'll like theese when her taste buds start to devvolop, in about 5 years from now.

Answer 7

I can really feel for you because I have a daughter that is VERY picky. So picky that I can remember a time when she would only eat meat that was round!! I got so frustrated with her that I took her to see her doctor, and he gave me some awesome advice--he told me that she was healthy and happy eventhough she ate like a bird, and she was obviously getting the nutrition she needed from what she was eating. But also told me not to stress on her too much about eating and trying new things because I was stressing her out when I did this and probably making it worse. Just continue to offer her a variety of things, and at least get her to try it--as long as it wasn't potato chips and ho-ho's that I was offering, and she'd be jsut fine...and she is!!

Answer 8

From experience, being the child not the parent, she may be using pickiness as a way to coer an eating disorder! I was a picky eater but as soon as I hit puperty it changed to a disorder, I never ate and lied about why! Heck if it wasn't for getting pregnant I would probably still have the same problem. Just be careful of how picky she is being!

Answer 9

Well, I would tell you that hot dogs and mac n cheese are not nutritious at all (high nitrates, processed, etc.) and so it's good that she doesn't like them. Focus in on what she does like. If she will eat caesar salad, terrific! That has lots of vitamins in the green leafy part. If she will eat BBQd or baked chicken breat, awesome! That is a source of lean protein. How about shrimp or scallops or other fish? Great protein. Cheese or yogurt is also good for her if she will eat it. Definitely push her to get some milk or dairy for the calcium. Pizza isn't great, but if she'll eat it, she will at least get some protein from the cheese. Remember this, all children hate certain things at this age, but as their taste buds begin to mature, they will expand their horizons ;-) My son used to hate everything. He is now 13, and amazingly, he is eating all kinds of new things! Good luck and God bless !!

Answer 10

This may sound wrong but... When I was growing up, we were asked to eat what was on our plate or we were welcome to skip that meal and wait for the next. I use the same method on my 7 year old and he's NOT picky now. He used to be VERY picky. After a few nights of feeling hungry (their choice!) they decide that they just better eat. It also has helped when we are at someone else's house for dinner... He doesn't say "I don't like this" at all. He just knows he'll be hungry. My suggestion is to fix what is on the menu for dinner and if your daughter doesn't want to eat it, she can wait till breakfast. She won't starve during the middle of the night and will begin to realize that it was her choice to be hungry by skipping dinner. Does that make sense? It does make it hard on us moms to see our kids hungry, but if we let it be their choice (and remember that) it get's a little easier. I am not trying to be mean at all--just sharing what has worked with us! Good luck!