Is there any gray area in "Honor thy mother and thy father"?

Question

What about the children who are being physically, sexually and emotionally abused by their parents? Should they still honor them?

Why would God force children to honor parents that are horrible to them?

2much 4: I'm talking about very young children, probably under 12 years of age, who don't have the option of moving away from their parents.
Not to mention, many children find themselves in a vicious cycle of abuse that they are psychologically unable to break.

Even if they do move away and escape the situation, does God want them to force themselves to honor their parents? Can you force yourself to love someone who has hurt you for so long?

Randy G: You really think I cited a hypothetical situation? This sort of abuse happens every day.

Answer 1

The scriptures also say that parents do not belittle your children for they are a GIFT from God and should be treated as so.

Answer 2

Exd 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

It was symbolic of respecting nature reffering to the earth as mother and the sun as father for without these we can't live here. We can live wihout our biological parents but without respect for nature our time as human beings will be shorter. The days are also reffering to years like a day to God is a thousand years to man.

Your question is quite thoughtful and not all of us have loving parents as u described but looking at it this way makes a lot more sense than the litteral.

Answer 3

There is a clarification dear.

Eph 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord

If the parents are 'truly" in the Lord and Fathers (mothers are implied in the context) are not to exasperate their children. I know that we are not all perfect and that some of us are bad eggs but for the most part if you bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord then your teaching them how to love and forgive show mercy and justice.

Answer 4

Well, if you'd like a Catholic opinion, the Catholic Church basically teaches that parents, and all other leaders, are charged with acting for the good of those they lead. For this reason, the people they lead need to treat them with a certain level of respect. Children need to honor the fact that their parents are their parents and realize that their parents are at least trying to act for the good of the family. They should obey their parents (at least about things that their parents are involved in, which is everything for a young child) and honor them, both to aid in their efforts to fulfill their righteous role as parents.

When parents are no longer trying to act in the best interest of their children, just like when the government is no longer trying to act in the best interest of its people, the children are no longer required to respect them as the authority. They still need to respect them as people, but owe them nothing more.

Answer 5

Don't ask me why, but in the book of Luke, Jesus said:

"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26)

Does that count as a gray area for not honouring parents?

As for abusive parents, that will always be a very difficult thing to live through. Regardless of whether or not a child stops honouring the parent, it will not be easy to forgive, or to abandon the relationship.

Answer 6

Yes-We give due respect where respect is due. So We don't hate anyone but we can hate their actions. They sh old be punished. So they can learn their lessons. If a child realizes this they should tell someone and then they will get their punishment. We have to understand that people are all conditioned souls and they are acting perverted due to a lack of true understand of God and love. SO we have compassion and forgiveness but don't accept the sin.

Answer 7

There is a difference between "honor" and "obey mindlessly".

Honor simply means respect. After all they gave you life, and they fed you, no matter what else they may have done.

I think that you are creating an crazy hypothetical situation just to ridicule Christianity. I don't think that you are asking a serious question, because the answer seems obvious.

===edit===

Obviously God doesn't expect you to allow yourself to be abused, but I don't think that he wants you to hold a grudge and be bitter about it, since that will hurt no one but yourself. When King Saul was trying to kill David, then David went and hid in the wilderness. But David refused to kill Saul, or otherwise take revenge, even though he could have. He let things work out the way that God intended.

Or read Josh McDowell's story about how he finally forgave his alcoholic father (see link below).

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Romans 12:19 (NIV)
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Answer 8

Dear, it is not a matter of loving them. It is a matter of being a good person and not bringing shame to them or your family.

I have some issues with one side of my family, I do my duty. I represent my family with honor.

If you do love your parents, you can feel free to show that in addition. If you don't love your parents, pray God's will be done, and leave the trouble with Him.

Answer 9

Yes...
Especially if your parents are old and gay...

But seriously...
NO!!!

If parents are sexually abusing their kids, they should be turned in to the police, and thrown in jail the rest of their un-honorable lives...!!!

DO NOT HONOR THEM IN ANY WAY!!!

Answer 10

There is a lot of gray area there. I think that's an "optional" commandment because NO true DEITY would expect any child to endure that kind of abuse.