I told my boyfriend I want to wait till marriage. I know both of us love each other, and he said my views are his views, but everytime we are around each other, he tries to have sex. I love him dearly but he says he knows he can wait, just doesn't believe in marriage after sex. I wonder how is this possible when other couples can hold on. He got mad when I said no physical contact. He said he felt bad because that is way he expresses his love......
2007-05-17 10:21:29 · 31 answers · asked by nativebeauty22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well I can tell you that once you have had sex for the first time you are not going to want to wait a while to have it again. I waited until I was engaged to have sex for the first time. I waited 25 years to meet the right girl and once we had sex I don't think I could have turned around and waited. Its all a matter of self control, maybe you guys could do other things that are enjoyable without going all the way! Good Luck!!!
2007-05-17 10:28:06 · answer #1 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't respect you then you may have to move on. I can tell you right know it's going to be hard this day and age to hold out before marriage or find a guy willing to wait. Don't get me wrong their are a few out their. But after you've had sex, waiting just isn't in you any more. As for him saying it being the ways he expresses love. *** that! You can express love lot more ways than! Question is how long have you been with one another?
2007-05-17 17:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can, if it is his value system. It isn't, regardless of what he TELLS you. Otherwise, you wouldn't have to be the penis-police.HE would be his own police.
Personally, I think abstinance is dumb.
I think you should know as much about another person as possible before you decide to spend forever with them. Sex is vital part of life, not some sacred mush, that has to be SAVED like clean hankies. My opinion, and I'd expect my fiance to respect that.
But YOU made this decision, and you want someone who respects your wishes.
He says he does, and then doesn't!
If this is how he expresses his love, then he is not a virgin, right? Can you say "double-standard"?
He gets mad at you for living up to your values, and HIS stated views?
He says he does, because that has gotten you this far. He will tell you whatever it takes to keep you hanging in there, till he can get you sacked out.
He will not be quitting untill you put your foot down.
You better get used to a guy who says one thing and does the other. This is your future married life in a nutshell.
Nope,this is how he expresses his disrespect for you, and his lack of self control.
Does not sound like a marriage-minded adult, but a selfish controlling child.
Re-think this whole thing, before you make a huge mistake.Drag him to couples counseling if you think he is worth keeping.
What do you call a guy who pressures you for sex, and mauls you every chance he gets? ....A rapist.
Tell him if he must have sex, against yoru wishes, to hire it done, and leave you out of it.
2007-05-17 17:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as much as you dont want to admit, boys want sex and will try anything to get it. it may be the way he expresses his love, but there are other ways. if he really wants to stay together you both can work hard to not get yourself into situations where you have to say "no". i dated a guy for a long time and we didn't do it (i was 20 and he was 26 and we dated for 3 years). The only thing that worked for us not to really be tempted is we didn't put ourselves in the situation to begin with.
if his views are your views and he's as serious as you are about waiting, then maybe y'all should back off each other for awhile or tone down the togetherness. it is a big temptation to fall into. until u do get married, tell him what kind of chocolates u like, and tell him to go home and use his hand ;)
2007-05-17 17:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by Casey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. Tell him the final answer is no until you guys are married. Guys have a high sex drive. They can see it your way, but still really want to have sex. You are doing the right thing and he knows it. If he loves you he will wait.
2007-05-17 17:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by STEVEN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be blunt, he sounds like a very immature young man. That is not how he expresses "love", it's how he expresses his selfishness and disregard for your good judgment and self respect.
If he continues to ignore your desire to remain a lady then I would strongly recommend that you set him free. Give him fair warning that the next time he tries to force himself on you that it will be the last time. He should be able understand those simple words even through his testosterone impaired thought processes.
I have no patience with young men who refuse to respect a lady and I make no apologies for it! You shouldn't either.
2007-05-17 17:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he respects u, no matter what he believes if the feelings about the subject r not mutual and he keeps persisting to get u to go along with what he wants then he doesn't respect u. I undertstand that u love him dearly but respect is such a crucial part in a relationship.
2007-05-17 17:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Angel this boy is trying to get his own way with you .and is putting presure on to make you give in .If he really did love you he would respect your wishes. IT rather worries me that he got angry with you when you refused his advances as this shows a controling nature and dose not look to promising for your future relationship as he will get worse later on. .if he keeps on pressuring you it maybe better that you did not see him again. How can your veiws be his when he is trying to make you do the exact opposit. Tell him that he either respects your wishes or takes a walk as you are not going to give in.because you do not belrive in that sort of contact before marrage. I PERSONALY ADMIRE YOU FOR STANDING BY WHAT YOU BELEIVE IN and don't let anyone make you do otherwise. all the best darling and take care.
2007-05-17 18:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by joan_tipton 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How does he know this is "how he expresses his love" unless he's done it before?
He CAN hold on if he really loves you. If he loves you, he will understand your views and do everything in his power to not get physical because it is important to you.
If he doesn't love you, he'll keep pressuring you for sex when he knows you don't want to do that before marriage.
2007-05-17 17:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by Texas Mom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You actually know couples that can hold on???!!!!!! Wow, that is new to me...
Well, on one side, he should prove his love to you by respecting your wishes.
On the other hand, sex is only a basic need, like eating and sleeping, and I can see him having a hard time waiting. Do you even have marriage plans or do you expect him to wait for an undetermined time?
2007-05-17 17:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋