My dad is a totally abusive alcoholic and he has not been invited to my wedding, should I worry about him showing up and causing drunken chaos?
2007-05-17 09:50:04 · 20 answers · asked by kelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would definatley let family and friends that are invited know that he isn't invited. They will take care of you and make sure he doesn't get far if he does show. My husband and I ran into a similar issue with his father. His parents went through a nasty divorce, his Dad has a lot of mental issues and drinking issues (I wouldn't classify him as a drunk, yet) and he was abusive towards my husband when he was a child and towards my husband's Mom up until they split (2 yrs prior to our wedding). Needless to say my husband changed his last name to his mothers maiden name prior to us getting married and he completely wrote off his father. We moved, didn't give him our address, he found us and we were worried he'd show up to the wedding. Needless to say, everything went on as planned and no suprises by his father showing up. We had people ready but we were stress free at the time.
Good luck!
P.S.
There is no such thing as an alcoholic remaining sober just for the day. They have to be ready to quit completely and for good. I'm pregnant with my first child and my parents first grandchild and my father is a drunk, I've threatened him several times that if he doesn't quit, he won't be around my baby. He's making an effort but continues to "fall off the wagon" repeatedly. It's a hard thing to deal with, I feel for you.
2007-05-17 10:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One solution...
Don't serve alcohol at the reseption. It's not mandatory, it saves you money not having to buy it and people should still have fun.
Also, make sure the place you are having your reseption knows that the afair is by invitation only and that they should not let anyone in without an invitation.
Lastly, if he cares when he is sober, talk to him ahead of time when he is sober and explain why he is not being invited.
It will not be a comfortable discussion but it could prevent a bigger problem on the day of your wedding.
Also, put other family member on alert to please watch for him. Ask them to handle any situation that may come up as your wedding present to ensure a happy day for you.
Best of Luck
2007-05-17 10:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by John 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alot of couples now a days hire security for the day for their weddings for just this thing. Have you looked into that. Most of the time nothing happens and the people dont try to attend, but just in case a security hire might give you good piece of mind.
2007-05-17 09:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell some guy relatives he is not invited and to be on the look out for him. That way you don't have to worry about it they will keep him out. Talk to you sites and vendors too and let them know. Usually after you spend a good chunk of change with them they will help out with most requests. They can help keep him away by not letting him on the property.
2007-05-17 09:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by Cash, Gage and Jax's Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your dad is an abusive alcoholic he just might show up and ruin your wedding. Thats what abusive drunks do.
Make sure you have security.
2007-05-17 09:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is like my problem. My dad is the exact same, I am worried about the same thing. However, I have come to the realization that he probably will not show up. This is because I explained to him that I would rather him not be there. He was mad, very mad. But I honestly think that he has enough common sense not to attend. I honesly think you should sit down with your dad too. Explain your thoughts and tell him why. He will be mad, just like mine. But do you really think that he will runin your day.
2007-05-17 10:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Va princess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are worried he will show up then post a couple of guys you know at the door and have them escort him out if he shows up. Make sure one of them as a cell phone so the police can be called if necessary. Good luck and congrats on your wedding.
2007-05-17 10:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe it would be a good idea not to tell him when or where you have decided to marry if you are worried about this.. just incase.. but also make sure your family is aware that he has not been invited so he does not find out..
2007-05-17 13:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire a few BIG men as "bouncers" incase he tried intruding! Congratulations
2007-05-17 09:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no if he shows up kindly tell him to leave. I would sit and tell him before the wedding at a sober moment why he is not invited
2007-05-17 09:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋