My new girlfriend has lots of guy friends and some of them I know are trying to get into her pants since I've seen them ask her out in front of me and they call her after 2am when we are alone.
This bothers the hell out of my because she is very good looking and turns heads all the time. I also try not to be obvious that it bothers my since I know from experience that jealousy will kill a young relatinship such as mine. I really like this girl and don't want to mess this up
My recent problem is that she is going to an event with a guy friend. The problem is I also want to go to this event. 1) she knows this and didn't invite me 2) I don't want to show up and have her think I'm spying on her. 3) I know that her ex-boyfriend and friends will be at this event.
Girls, let me know what I can do to express my concerns without freaking her out because I do want to trust her and play this cool.
Now girl let me have it.
2007-05-17 09:36:57 · 29 answers · asked by Tom T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I forgot to mention that this guy asked her and she told me that he has a girlfriend, but when I mentioned I wanted to go she didn't respond.
2007-05-17 10:06:32 · update #1
You could be writing about me.....I have always had more guy friends than female friends (we're too damn everything for me to get along with them). If you want to go and she knows you want to go, then just show up with a group of your friends. Don't hound her all nite tho...if you see her, say hi and keep it moving. Even tho I have more male friends, I would never ever disrespect my boyfriend by being friends with someone who constantly asks me out knowing that I have a boyfriend.
Hate to say it, but she may not see you in the same way that you see her...how old are you and how long have you guys been together...doesn't seem like she respects you much to be doing this. Again, I have A LOT of male friends...but they know that if they cross the line by asking me out, I probably won't speak to them any more...age can be a factor here. I'm already low mid 20s and mature...she may be just trying to have fun and not looking for a serious relationship. Also, I wouldn't put stock in the fact that her ex is going to be there...the world isn't as big as you think and if this bothers you what happens if she goes to the mall and he's there as well...does it upset you? My boyfriend and I sometimes wind up at the same clubs/ parties together...we say hi and move on...its not a diss to me or him...we're both there with our own groups and know that what we have is real...so what if he dances with another girl or viceversa....guess who he calls wifey?
Best bet is to go with your own friends...if you see her, say hi, maybe a kiss, and keep it moving...don't look for her all nite or wonder what she's doing...have your own fun.
2007-05-17 09:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally see where you're coming from. EVERYONE (girls and guys) have this problem. Just let her know how much you care about her and she won't be as tempted to do anything with other guys since she knows she has you back home. OR if you have any friends who are girls, why don't you go do something fun with them, giving her a taste of her own medicine (it may sound mean but sometimes its the only thing that can work.) I have done it many times and it will work. She will see where you stand and she will invite you to the next event. If she doesn't get it, I hate to say this, but maybe try moving on to the next girl. I understand that you love her very much, but I have experienced this before and sometimes you just have to let them go.
BES T OF LUCK
2007-05-17 09:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This girl may be a lot of fun and very good looking but don't let that blind you. She doesn't care for you like she should if she is going to a event that she knows you want to go to but with another man. She knows same as you that these guys are into her and she must crave that kind of attention. I don't think she's mature enough for a serious relationship. Sorry. There's no need to express your concerns. She knows exactly what she's doing and how it makes you feel without you saying a word. It's just common sense.
2007-05-17 09:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hayshaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That girl is a social butterfly so just give her freedom . Don't show up to that event Cox she'll think that you're spying on her and not trust her. But after that event maybe you can talk to her about this problem and just trying to solve this problem together. If she love you as much as you love her, she'll think and concern about this problem too. Communication is the best key of a relationship. But the most important things for you is although you have a gf now you have to concern about yourself, ur life and ur happiness not only thinking about her and this prob.Good luck and GBU^^
2007-05-17 09:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by g1rL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also have lots of guy friends and I am in a new relationship. It is very hard on the other person. If she really likes you she will stay attentive to you when they are around. I have to do this when my boyfriend and friends are all together. It can be rather taxing, but my friends understand my boyfriend is important to me. If she does things with her guy friends you are just going to have to live with it. They have been friends for a long time and are a part of her support system. I seriously doubt she is or will sleep with them. I never have and I have been friends with these guys for many years. Girls are catty and sometimes attractive girls turn to men for companionship because women are petty and jealous, hence not making a good friend. Try to understand and hang in there. She will love you all the more!!!
2007-05-17 09:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by journeysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from because 99% of my friends are males. I would say you have nothing to worry about because a guy goes as far as a girl lets him. Ive been asked out continously by all my friends and it hasnt gotten anywhere. My boyfriend also has a problem with it because he says they are trying to get in my pants but i would never choose to take another guy somewhere over my man. I would honestly just let her know that it bothers you that she wouldnt invite you. just let her know how you feel and let her make the choice. but remember just cuz she has no intentions doesnt mean they dont. Thats one thing you have to stress to her. hopefuly she wont be so naive like i was. and realize it til its too late.
2007-05-17 09:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Yankees Fan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first step is to simply ask her why she didn't invite you. If your the BF, then it seems like you would get invitations first. If your not getting your invitations first, then maybe you aren't the BF.
Of course it may be a misunderstanding, but still, it's quit an oversight on her part.
Don't worry too much about freaking people out in a relationship. You have to communicate how you feel to make the relationship work. So do they. If they freak, then it wasn't going to work not matter what you said.
2007-05-17 09:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by bsandyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds just like my problem. I actually gel better with guys then i do girls. My bf hates it. I get hit on and asked out, just like ur gf does. I recently started walking with this guy, no strings attached we would walk in the park around where i live. Well my bf had a big fight with me about it. He hates the fact that guys and me get along better. But i c nothing wrong with it. Let ur girl go to this event don't show up there b/c she is going to end up being very upset at u for it. But trust her to the point where if guys go to far that she tells u plus uses her good judgement to stop hanging out with them.
2007-05-17 09:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never mentioned if you trust her or not. Do you? Do you think she is cheating / will cheat on you with one of these guys? Forget about they guys for a mintue and focus on her. If you don't think that she would do something to hurt you, why can't she go with them? Is she being suspicious about you not being there, or does she not want you there becuase she doesn't want to cause conflict?
I'm not saying that you have to keep your feelings bottled up, you should mention your concern, but it can come off controlling if you want to be with her ALL THE TIME (which also kills relationships). Talk to her and see how she reacts. If you think her behavior is a little suspect, then you have to ask yourself if this is something you want to deal with. your stressing out now, and she didn't even do anything...do what your heart tells you...
2007-05-17 09:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by Ms B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern and you have every right to be. My best advice would be is to just talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel in a nice way without coming across as being jealous. Don't come across as controlling either-thats not too popular with girls. I know because I'm a girl and I hate it. After you talk to her and she still continues with the plans that she has made. Just trust her and see what comes of it. Its probably nothing to worry about.
If it is, however, get rid of her. You deserve better than that. I hope your situation turns out all right.
2007-05-17 09:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋