calls a couple of hours before to cancel. He has done this 2 out of 3 times we were supposed to get together. We have plans for tomorrow night but am leary that this will happen again. Is he just making sure I can't make other plans, control thing?
2007-05-17 09:23:44 · 11 answers · asked by COblonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1 time he canceled due to running late from work, traveling. 2nd his "spanish language instructor" had to reschedule their spanish class last min. He pays $150 for the class so had to go or he gets charged no matter what.
2007-05-17 09:35:24 · update #1
why are you letting your self get played by him if he was interested he wouldnt keep breaking your dates. i would say move on and find someone who wants to spend time with you
2007-05-17 09:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a famous quote out there that goes, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." What this guy doesn't realize is that by choosing to do other things with his time rather than spend it with you, he is prioritizing and you're falling behind compared against other things coming up for him. Unless he's got some kind of family or financial obligation that makes it necessary for him to be "flexible" with his time, you can be sure that his "flexibility" will repeatedly put you out into the cold. And I don't think it's about control. This is about him and his feelings. To the point: you're not in his feelings except in half-hearted apologies that will only satisfy you temporarily...until he does it again. You deserve to be a priority.
So, what to do? It's tough, but you can play a little hard to get by being busy yourself and then talk to him about it if and when you've established a bit more emotional intimacy together, or you can keep moving. Quite honestly, if you play hard to get, there's a good chance you'll end up feeling more hurt than you are now. Hot and cold never feels good in the long run.
Hang in there!
# # #
Additional note after reading your additional note:
I say keep a journal of all his excuses (seriously!). Write down the day, date, time, what you were supposed to do, and what excuse came up. If they're legit, fine, but if you start to recognize any patterns, at least you'll have something to laugh at when you show him the door. :)
2007-05-17 09:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't like being canceled on. hey it happens but if i suspected the girl being a lil player then that's adds to it. If we re-schedule and that doesn't work then that's a deal breaker for me.
what does that tell you about the person, if they can keep plans?
It makes me feel like that person isn't really concerned if we go out or not. If we do actually end up going out it would be b/c she set things up this time.
just don't wast your time.
2007-05-17 09:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by spy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he canceling your plans and then going out and doing things w/ other people? If that's the case then you should be concerned. But... maybe he's either nervous about hanging out w/ you... or maybe he's just lazy haha. If he's ditching you... there's a problem haha.
2007-05-17 09:30:11 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's neither, he is having trouble scheduling you between seeing his girlfriend.
Whether or not he is a player is meaningless, the only important thing is what you do. Why do you feel it necessary to try to date a guy who blows you off? Do you have that low of self-esteem?
2007-05-17 09:29:08 · answer #5 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give up on him, he is not worth it.
He is a player, and he knows it, problem is he thinks that you do not know it.
So show him that you know it, and do not have a thing to do with him anymore!!!
Show him that you are not into "playing" his game, and that you are better than that.
There are plenty of wonderful guys out there who are totally not into "playing games".
2007-05-17 09:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that way, you should cancel going out with him, and see whats going on.
2007-05-17 09:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is he cancelling? His job? Family issues?
If it's not something legit, it sounds like he's had some better oppurtunities come up, but is keeping you on standby - in case nothing better turns up.
2007-05-17 09:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by ookami007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he doesn't have the time to give you the attention you deserve. Make him commit to plans.
2007-05-17 09:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by tenbsinger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste time trying to figure him out. Let him know you're running your own show.
2007-05-17 09:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋