who is recuperating from major brain surgery,dad is 93 and also has alzheimers disease made worse by this surgery,hes very unsteady on his feet and really needs a home care nurse to keep an eagle eye on my dad,however,ive been elected to do a licensed r n s job and watch his every move,i cannot go out of the house and i feel like a prisoner who is chained to my father.my aunt takes me food shopping and i have to take dad along .one of my friends told me i dont understand your brother,hes a smart man(hes a very busy dentist) and he makes tou do this! hes got nerve she told me.god forbid my father should fall ,the answer i get from other members of the family is---call 911.yeah,did you ever try to pick up a man of short stature or any height ? theyre dead weight!!!! tell me ,what do you think,am i right in wanting a home care nurse to watch my father,or are my family members right by leaving things the way they are.i will accept truthful answers only.
2007-05-17 09:16:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Alzheimer's patients are very difficult to care for at home and many times it is not advisable as they can put themselves and family members at risk. I would contact alzheimer's support and get expert advice before someone gets injured.
Alzheimer's Support
www.AlzInfo.org
2007-05-17 09:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lacey G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should be a home health nurse involved. You should not be left to care for this person 24/7 while the other family members take no responsibility. Since you are the one who was selected, you should elect that the family get together and hire a home health nurse. This person would be able to sit with your father while you work, attend school, shop, visit friends. You should not be the only one to stop living because your father is ill and needs attention.
2007-05-23 16:25:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation with my mom about 2 years ago, and I had to make some hard decisions. You should definately have a home aide nurse. There are some things that you are not skilled to do, and that is unfair for you and most definately your father, it is very dagerous as well. That can almost be considered elderly abuse. Your father deserves better care than that. Call the Department of Health and Human Services in your area. They can help you get the help you need, and sometimes it is free of charge, depending on your dads financial status.
Sounds like your brother is selfish and cheap!
2007-05-23 19:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by guts_spunk_moxie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be your father, but you should not have this all on you. You may encounter a break down. Your father needs a home care nurse. The family could maybe rotate their time. You stay for awhile then other family members. You need some personal space, even if you do not work. You are human and you have needs to take care of for yourself.
Take a walk or go to the library or watch a movie of your choice.
2007-05-17 16:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is 93 just recovering from brain surgery plus he has Alzheimer's so you need to contact Hospice now! He hasn't got long here anyway, from what I can see. Be grateful you won't have your brother taking care of you when you are old and can't get around well. You're going to need a long vacation after all of this. I betcha the brother will be the first one fighting over your father's possessions too.
Bless your heart,
Grace Carrington
2007-05-17 17:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Psychic Answers with Grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person is not physically capable of taking care of someone else for 24 hours a day, it is an impossibility. Does your father have a designated durable power of attorney for healthcare decisions? If so, they need to get your father, and you, the assistance that you both desperately need. There are home health agencies specifically for this type of situation, they can give you some relief. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. As for your brother, you need to confront him. Ask him to stay with Dad for an afternoon. Better yet, ask him to stay with Dad for a weekend so that you can get away. Tell him that you have had this planned for a while and can't change it. I would imagine that his tune would change pretty darn quick! Good luck! There are also support groups and agencies that you can call for emotional support. Check your local phone book.
2007-05-22 20:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by mert418 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused as to why your family opted to go forth with "Major Brain Surgery" on a man of 93 with alzheimer's diesease.
I was very helpfull to my grandmother when she cared for my grandfather with alzheimer's. She was very warn out taking care of him and eventually our family knew he needed care we could no longer give.
If you are truly wiped out and can no longer care for your father at home then it is time to find him a new home in a skilled nursing home specializing in alzheimer's patients.
It is a very tough decision to make but a very important one.
Most 93 year old men have children that are 50+ years old. I can only assume that you have yourself, a spouse and possibly older kids or grandchildren you help take care of too.
You need to sit down down with your Aunt, your brother and any other involved family memebers and work toward a goal that is best for dear old dad.
God Bless and take care.
2007-05-17 17:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you not getting outside help? I'm sure if you talk to your dad's doctor he can recommend some societies or places that can help you. You should not be put in this position if money is a issue there are alzheimers associations that might be able to help with some sort of help as well.
Try the links below for information
2007-05-17 16:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by burnished_dragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does your brother think think he should relegate this responsibility to you? This is a matter for the whole family to discuss and find solutions to. I really do not think it should be your responsibility only, granted that he has a busy schedule. You are more than right in wanting to have a home care nurse. In fact it is the only responsible thing to do in this case.
2007-05-17 16:33:09 · answer #9 · answered by trinigirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have a home health nurse with your father as you would not be able to handle a medical emergency. I think you should find one and get her started without speaking to the family as they have put the care of your father on you - so take care of him the way you think would be best.
If they protest when they find out then tell them they are welcome to watch him full-time but that you don't feel comfortable being left with the sole responsibility of watching him by yourself.
Good luck. And bless you.
2007-05-17 16:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋