I have come to the realization that I am a downright terrible person. I was interested in a guy who is bad for me since he is such a manipulative and controlling person, but I can't seem to quit him. I am into BDSM and I kind of like a guy that behaves that way. He knows I have a boyfriend, and his thing is that he knows I will never be able to get over him no matter what I do. Anywho, this new boyfriend is amazing: sweet and caring, unlike anything I've ever known. But he has a lot of ex girlfriends and I am too insecure to realize that it may be okay that he is friends with him (I worry that they are friends with him because they want to have sex with him or something). Why should I be jealous when on the inside I am such a bad person? I hate this, since I think that I am falling in love with my boyfriend.
2007-05-17 08:52:18 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 19, and yes I have been in a long-term relationship before.
And when I talk of BDSM, the guy that I was interested in was my master. I just asked for manumission from him today, so I am feeling all confused.
2007-05-17 09:37:54 · update #1
You're not a bad or evil person. I just think you're confused. It's okay to have crushes on people even when you're in a relationship with someone else. And what you do in the bedroom, well that's really only your business. I would be jealous too if my boyfriend was friends with his ex's. That seems kind of weird unless there is more history to their relationship than just dating. Anyways, being jealous is fine, having a crush is fine. It's the way you act on your emotions that has an impact on people and ultimately matters. Just be a good person and try to cause the least amount of damage in others' lives.
2007-05-17 08:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by I love Daisey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you can’t seem to get beyond your BDSM doesn’t make you a bad person. For whatever reason you’ve developed this bond with him and you feel secure. It sounds like you’re the type of person who’s a follower not a leader and he’s manipulative and controlling. It sounds like you’re attracted to the bad boy type and there is nothing wrong with that. You can’t help who you love. He’s got way too much control over you though if you can tell you to your face that you will never be able to get over him no matter what you do, you’ve allowed him to have way to much power of you and your life. You need to get it back and get it back fast.
Give the new guy a chance you may find that that even though he’s not your BDSM he’s actually someone that you can relate to and will enjoy spending time with. Put you BDSM on the back burner for a month or 2 just to give the other guy a fair chance. If you honestly don’t think you can then you need to let this new guy go so he doesn’t end up being hurt. Him being friends with his ex-girlfriends really isn’t a bad thing, it just says that he’s able to have a break up that’s not ugly. He may not be able to date the person but instead he’s better as a friend to her. I have several ex-boyfriends that I’m friends with and I get along fine with their current girlfriends. You need to give yourself a little more credit and give yourself a chance to be with someone that’s not trying to manipulate or control you. You’re an adult and you don’t need to be treated badly. You just need to realize it for yourself.
2007-05-17 09:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh it sounds like you have made some unwise decisions in your life.But as far as you being a bad person. I just don't believe that. And it also seems like this new guy that you like seems to know that your a good person also. Trust me, people that are in love sometimes get to know you, as the real person that you are and they see past all that B.S. That some people seem to try to place a few people into. Which is probally why you feel your a bad person, because you have been placed in a category and not given any credit for how good you truly are. And it seems this new boyfriend has taken his time to get to know just how good you really are. He can appreciate the real beauty of you when other people might be losing out on a very nice person. Their loss and his gain! Good for him! So fall in love and enjoy this. You deserve to be treated good! Thank you and God Bless You also!
2007-05-17 09:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by SecretUser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not a bad person just confused. I believe you should be with the one you are in love with. We are destined for one person. That does not mean we need to trample on others hearts too. If it were me I would quit the bad guy and stick with the good guy. He is friends with his ex's because he has decided it must be better to break up good then break up mad and be bitter all his life. It is good to be friends with your ex because there is no baggage left over. He must have a lot of ex's because he has not found his one soul mate yet or he could not commit. Just let your heart go and you will see it was worth it in the end.
2007-05-17 08:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Momma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might define an evil person like Hitler or the final insane despot Roman emperor Constantine, worse than any 10 Hitlers prepare. Hitler brought about a international conflict, and the Jewish eu Holocaust and became to blame for thousands and thousands of deaths. Constantine commissioned the bible, as in bought and paid for, enforced Christianity as a results of fact the recent Roman state faith. and then made a %. with the vicious Visigoth military to sack Europe in return for its administration. there have been no intact armies left as a results of fact the plague had basically wiped out 50% of the inhabitants. Constantine massacred untold billions. while the bible says it is inspired by utilising god it is who they propose, Roman emperors the place gods, they owned all and sundry and each ingredient. human beings lived on the mercy of the Roman emperor. practising Shaman... quantum physics rocks
2016-11-24 19:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself the biggest favor in the world and stop taking Bad boy's calls. He obviously isn't ever going to make your life easier! The new guys sounds great. You guys could have a future. The other guy and you? Not so much.
2007-05-17 08:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
number one look at yourself and find out what was wrong with you for being downright terrible person??? and find out how you can fixed the plm for yourself... really your health comes first before boyfriend and other guy....
Then after you find out great if not then you will need to see dr. or some oen to talk to.. have you had ex boyfriend beofre??? go back when you started dating and then go from there to now smiling.. I think it helps you to see better of yourself smiling.
2007-05-17 08:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have some serious issues that need a therapist! And cheating on this new guy is wrong! You're insecure because you're a cheater and expect him to be also. Stop you're cheating or stop seeing this bf and go seek some help for your low self asteem and maybe you won't have these problems anymore!
2007-05-17 08:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that your jealousy necessarily constitutes your feelings that you are somehow a bad person. Although we would love not to be, jealousy and lust is a human emotion. To say that you felt totally secure with his previous girlfriends would be a down-right lie and absurd. Don't be afraid to admit your jealousy, just be ready to conquer it. If you feel suspicious about his relations with them, simply ask yourself if your thoughts are valid and then ask him about what's going on. Honesty is, after all, the best relationship builder.
2007-05-17 08:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by Derkum 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just have to pass the BDSM guy and give the new one a great chance
2007-05-17 08:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by whit g 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋