should i get a restraining order?

Question

i have a cousin who has been picking on me for the last 4 years. every single time i am around her i feel uncomfortable and afraid. she bullies me. i don't know if she's just jealous of me or what, but she will not leave me alone . i've tried talking to her, but it only makes things worse. she said she was not going to leave me alone. it seems like no matter what i do---if i stand up to her she gets mad and wants to fight me, and i don't want to fight her and i don't feel that i should have to. but if i ignore her she continues to bully me. should i get a restraining order? she doesn't want me to live my life. it seems as though she HATES to see me happy, and LOVES to see me down and will do whatever it takes to KEEP me down. However, i'm kind of afraid to get a restraining order b/c of what my family will say. They may not approve, but i feel like it isn't their problem----it's mine, and I'M the one going through it. What should I do?

Answer 1

do what ever you need to do to keep yourself safe. i can understand how you would be concerned about your family and what they think, but your safety is the most important thing. check and see if there are free legal advice clinics in your area, they can answer your questions if you should get one and/or if there is anything else you can do. hope this helps.

Answer 2

Before you get a restraining order ask a close family member or a mutual family friend to lend you some help and go to a neutral place like maybe a restaurant or a park some place in public. The three of you sit down and try to convey to your cousin your concerns NOT by saying YOU just say that "I am feeling scared and terrified and I just don't know what to do, I have conveyed my feelings over and over so I think it is time for my own protection I need to get a restraining order.. Is there anything I can do to make this relationship more cordial? Is there anything else I can do to change the way things are between us? If she doesn't have anything positive to say let her know that for your safety you will take the next step and get a restraining order. AVOID family functions if she will be there. If you she does show up ignore her or try to make sure you are not the only person in the room... Or leave.
If she follows you turn around and put your foot down and say that is it that is enough I don't know what you want from me BUT stop please....have a family member help you out....

I am experiencing something similar with my sister..but not to that extreme.. I wish you well. It sounds if she is trying to get some kind of reaction from you and the only way is if get scared... She may be jealous or she sees you more of sibling..

Answer 3

I'm assuming you both are minors. If she's over 18, then you can get the restraining order against her - there are laws against stalking in the US.

Have you spoken to your family about this? If so what is their response? Let me guess - they say ignore it. That's really a good thing to do - isn't easy - but probably the best thing.

However, Bullying is a serious problem. If she is constantly harassing you at school or actually hitting you or destroying your belongings, that's another matter - If your parents won't listen, then speak with your school's counselor (in the US) and ask her to call child protective services about this girl's behavior. The counselor should not give your name -but should point out that you (the other student) are being physically threatened and that your belonging have been destroyed.

That'll get everyone's attention.

BTW. You don't say WHY cousin is picking on you. Are you prettier, more popular, make better grades, have a better job, feel more at ease? She sounds jealous of whatever you have that she doesn't have.

Answer 4

Well first of all, is it absolutely NECESSARY to be around your cousin? I mean, I understand you might have to see her around family functions but those should be rare. I would first try to completely limit how often you have to see her. If you live in the same time, don't go to the places where she hangs out. Don't hang out around her house. Make her come to you if she's gonna bully you. A restraining order may just encourage her to bully you more plus I think a restraining order is mainly for people who have had physical problems w/ a person (i.e. a husband hitting his wife). From this point on, you should document EVERY time she does something physical to hurt you. Take pictures, write down the date and details. THEN you will have a case for a restraining order. Until then, it's difficult to say if you can get a restraining order for someone who is simply being MEAN. I feel bad for you and hope you can rise above this stupid girl.

Answer 5

Depending on your age and the state you live in, a restraining order is an option. Some states only issue restraining orders if you have been intimatly involved with someone. The other option is to look at harrassment charges or a harrassment restraining order. If you have asked your cousin to leave you alone and she continues, that is harrassment and you do have the ability to take legal action. Unfortunatly, there are people out there who won't leave you alone until you stand up to them and sometimes that means bringing in the legal system. Good luck to you, and stand up for you.

Answer 6

If you feel that she is going to harm you physically-then I would say YES. Your cousin has some mental issues that are going on with her. She seems like a jealous person that is so miserable with her own life that she wants to ruin yours. She is pitiful. One day, ask her, "why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?" I wonder if people are on her case all the time. Is she a trouble maker? Does she do this to anyone else? I would suggest you grab her and give her a hug then tell her you love her but she might deck you so maybe not. Also, I don't care what your family says, violence is violence. About a month ago, my nephew and cousin got into a really violent fight and it ended with 2 ambulances and hospital stays. I don't want this to happen to you. I will be praying for you and be careful. She sounds like a very sick person.

Answer 7

If ne of your family is giving you a problem, the the family should help fix the problem. Its not just your problem its your family's problem. Its a good idea to get a restraining order, for the time being to protect yourself. And also tell your parents whats going on and how you feel. And also your cousins parents also. I don't care who you are, or if your independent, or you feel like you should solve your problems yourself. No matter what, everyone in the world needs a helping hand.
Perfect example.....Your looking for help in here.
Talk with the family and get it fixed.

Answer 8

Unless she has threathed you in some way that would cause physcially harm, you have no grounds. The judge would issue you a temp. protection order that is good only until the court date in which you would have to state why you want a restraining order put in place, and she would also be able to say why she thought it was bs. Most likely it would be thrown out.

Answer 9

yeah maybe you should get a restraining order because most of the things i was going to suggest you do are in your question. This sounds serious, maybe you should sit down with the whole family and discuss this matter with them before taking drastic measures like that.

Answer 10

you need to discuss this with her parents and yours before things get worse..there is too much bullying going on now with younger people and it seems to end up in terrible endings...she needs to understand you just want her to leave you alone...if shes jealous seems to me thats why shes doing this...her only way to get attention from you is to bully you..talk to the parents of you and her all together if possible and then talk to your parents about a restraining order..is best to talk with someone in case this cuz goes a little further with the bullying/.you cant continue allowing her to bully you anymore...

Answer 11

How old are you? Can you get your parents or aunt/uncle (her parents) involved to put a stop to it? If not, where do you see her when she treats you that way? If she's not coming to your house and harassing you you probably wont get the restraining order. This sounds like a family thing, talk to your parents about it.