Mother's i have a question?

Question

i am stay at home mom, i have been for the past yr. This is the first time i have ever stayed home this long without working. I love my kids more than anything. Sometimes, i feel over whelmed along with cabin fever. I am with them 24 hours a day, we stay home, with little or no money can't really do much. It's hard to go anywhere with a toddler and an infant. Is this normal to feel this way. I am used to going to work, bringing home income, helping my husband out financially. But now it's like i can't do that with two kids. I guess i just needed to vent. :(

Answer 1

I am right there with you Maria. I LOVE my kids more than anything.. I've always worked and was at my most recent job for over 4 years.. and when our second son was born in December.. childcare costs for 2 kids proved to be too much for us and I quit my job. To help with money I started watching my friends two young boys full time.. I am grateful for the opportunity to spend so much time with my kids.. but Geeeeez.. I don't even feel human anymore! It's like never getting a lunch break at work.. You're working around the clock.. I am at home all day with 4 kids under the age of 5!!
I wish I had some great advice for you.. but much like you, we are having a hard time financially so I don't get out much.. there isn't much you can do... I just try to remember that this is not permanent and at the end of the day isn't it so much better to raise your own kids than to have to pay someone else to do it??
Good luck honey.. you're not alone.. and you're not crazy.

Answer 2

It can be really tough, made more so by the barrage of people telling you you need to have a job and "contribute" to the family. You do have a job, the best and most wonderful job ever. But you are right, it is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week job with no coffee breaks, lunch breaks, weekends or anything like that. With little ones, going anywhere is a big ordeal, but try to from time to time. Now that summer is here, pack them up and walk to the nearest park. As for income, sit down tonight and add up how much it would cost you to pay for child care, clothes, transportation and the other costs of work (like higher food costs because of less prep time). You'll see that you are "bringing home" quite a bit of income (or rather, preventing quite a bit of outflow). It can make you feel like you aren't important when you are no longer part of the finances, talk with your hubby about that. Just because you don't get a paycheck doesn't mean you don't need to be part of the financial planning etc. What you feel is perfectly normal. Other places to take the kids for free/cheap:
ECFE (playgroups and classes through the school district)
library
just a walk (you may find other mothers to talk to)
parks and some museums and art galleries
the mall (good for getting out on a rainy day, no shopping, just looking)
It is really tough with little kids, but if you don't get out a little, you will go stir crazy. Don't underestimate your need for a little sun, a few minutes on a blanket in the yard can work wonders too.

Answer 3

Yup, it's normal to feel that way especially if you have gone from working to being a full time mom. Having kids changes your life more dramatically than just about anything else and it isn't always easy to give up that sense of freedom that you had before having kids. I'm a SAHM who previously worked and it has been incredibly difficult at times dealing with the sense of being overwhelmed and having the walls of my house close in on me.
Some ideas to possibly consider are finding a mother's day out group or a play day group. If it is too difficult to get out of the home right now, maybe a chat room or message board with other SAHM.
Or maybe when the kids are a little bit older is to start your own business like Tupperware, Pampered Chef etc. something you can do on your own schedule. Maybe even getting a small part time job while your husband watches the kids for a few hours a week in the evening. Good luck and hang in there!

Answer 4

Its normal - I had a really tough time with this last month actually. I have a17 month old and babysit full time for another baby the same age. Stay busy - productive!! Go to the park, I know you can do this no matter what age. Get a water table at good will or something and the kids will play outside with it (i put one of those "baby cages" around mine) and do some gardening. Start cooking a little more fun meals and take walks!! Walks helped get my energy up while getting the kids outside. Online has tons of really neat ideas for art projects that you can do with the kids. Stay away from the TV and computer as much as you can, I feel so unproductive when I get sucked into online games and soaps. I have a super hard time cleaning - dont know about you - but this takes a lot of my time now, keeping me busy trying to keep the house clean!!! It really will help! GOOD LUCK and keep us updated, if you want to talk more, u can contact me through here, I know i needed support!

Answer 5

What you're feeling is completely normal. Are you not working because you don't want to, because you want to stay home, or for some other reason, like daycare cost? If you are wanting to stay home, them perhaps try a balance of both worlds. If you have a family member that won't mind keeping them for a couple of hours a day, or a day or two a week, get a part time job. That will get you out of the house for a little bit and you will get to associate with adults, but will still be home most of the time for them. Not to mention a little extra cash for going out. IF that isn't an option for you, look online for mom groups and set up playdates. You might be able to find another mom to take your kids to the park with and to talk with. Also, the two of you might exchange sitting services for a couple of hours so you can relax for a bit. Sounds like you really need adult company, other than your spouse. Try this site, www.clubmom.com

Answer 6

I am a mother of 3. I was a stay at home mom for some time. It can be hard when you spend all your time with your children you forget what an adult converstation is like. You miss the joys and hardships of the office life. You are saving money on daycare, yet you still feel you should be contribiting more for bills, and the little extras you want. It is hard going places other than parks, zoos, with two young children. If you choose to continue to be a stay at home mom have you thought about working from home part time. There are alot of great home businesses for mom's some ex. avon, petra, pamper chef, these bring in extra income and allow you the alone time with other adults at night and you set your own schedule so its great. Another idea is www.dontforgettotakeyourvitamins.com/rennie49498

Answer 7

you are perfectly normal, or so I think anyway. When my ex asked me to be a stay at home mom I thought that it would be great! It lasted approx 5 months. I NEEDED to feel like I was contributing something more to my family than a clean house and a cooked meal, not to mention adult interaction. I returned to work even tho daycare ate up about 2/3 of my paycheck. I love my children, they are the light of my life, but I needed more stimulation that that. I also firmly believe that no person, man or woman, should be wholly, financially dependent on someone else. Thankfully, my ex understood completely.
Even if you continue to stay home, I think that it is sooo important for you to have "ME" time. Even if that is simply having 2 hours and doing nothing other than reading a book. Perhaps, if you know of other stay at home moms you could set something up with them. Take turns taking each others kids for an hour or so. Or when hubby comes home maybe he could take over and give you some time to yourself (which he should be at least pitching in when he comes home). A date night for you two doesn't have to be expensive either. Take a walk through the park,...go park somewhere. lol But get out for a bit.
--and---I did have a friend who went through this not long ago, she went into a pretty deep depression and the only "real" signs were that she very rarely put on more than sweats and older T's, she stopped bothering to do her hair and/or makeup.....she didn't care, no one but her husband and child were going to see her anyway. Took a good, stern talking-to with her hubby and a lot of prodding to get her back out into the world again. (Only so many times that you can clean a small house and conversation with a 2 yr old can only go so far) If any of that sounds familiar--do something about it now...
Good luck to you!!--and we are always here to listen :-)

Answer 8

I am right their with you sweetie. I am a stay at home mom to my 3 children ages 8, 6 and 4. I have been a sahm for 8 years since I had my oldest. Its very tough for us to do things with only one income. The only time I really get out is to pick the older 2 up from school and its right back home I go. With gas getting outragious we cant afford to do much. We have never taken a family vacation before. My husband is a work a lot of overtime just so we can make ends meet. I run a mothers group on yahoo to help with some adult communication throughout the day. I have made some really great friends. If you would like you can join..

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/parentsrus/

Hope to see you soon,
Nicole

Answer 9

I felt the same way when I stayed home for about a year as well. Mine were about the same age as yours. However, now that I'm working again I wish I could be a stay at home mom! (they're now school age) If you really think about it, what better thing to be than a mommy?? We should not have to work in order to feel important. What makes us important is that our children love us and need us more than anyone. Your lucky you can stay home with your babies. Do you really want your infant, who can not tell you if a daycare worker isn't taking adequate care of her, going to a daycare? Face it, our children are our most precious possessions! NO ONE can be the wonderful mother that you sound like you are! Cherish what you have because you will wish you had a few years from now if you don't. Again, I really do know what your talking about (I wish I would have had someone talk to me like I'm talking to you know, but I didn't have anyone) but for example, the weather (where I am) is perfect for a stroll around the neighborhood or a trip to get an ice-cream. If your kiddos get cranky in public, just keep on working with them and I promise they'll get used to it.

Good luck and God bless!
P.S. Listen to the Dr Laura show (it's on am not fm) in the afternoons and you will get much praise for what your doing!

Answer 10

I am in the same boat! My babies are now 3yrs 2mo & 17 1/2 months. I would not be able to make enough money to pay for daycare if I got a job in my rural area. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom.....But now that I have for 4 yrs (I was on bed rest at 6 weeks pg with 1st child) WOW! what a shock to the system! I babysat for 5 kids from the time my youngest was 1 month until right before Easter for financial help but spent so much time with sick kids that all the extra money wasn't enough to pay for medical costs. That is with insurance! I honestly feel like I am in prison. I just got internet a month ago & lived so far out in the country without a car that it was impossible to go anywhere. We recently moved closer to town & I now have a vehicle but between naps & just the general care of the home & 2 little ones is crazy trying to go anywhere. I'm hoping to meet another mom in my area with kids the same age to get together with for play dates & adult conversation. I am getting contacts through the local PAT (Parents as Teachers association) Good Luck to you!