Is it possible to stop hating yourself?

Question

I blame myself for everything and find it very hard, if not impossible to show myself any compassion.

I am having counselling and she is working quite hard at getting me to change towards myself, but I find it difficult. I am also waiting to see a psychiatric doctor for medication for my depression (waited 4 wks so far!).

Have you ever been like that? Have you ever succeeded in changing and if so do you have any suggestions that may help me?

Thanks

Answer 1

It's very possible.

Congratulations for taking the right steps. Consueling and medication are going to help you more than you can know.

Just doing that shows you are a strong, intelligent person.

What you're experiencing is a very acute symptom of depression. It's important to know there will be good days and bad and you must be patient with yourself. Growth takes time.

In the mean time take a step back from your life and see where you spend your energy. Something to distract and bolster you will help, such as an energetic pet or a new hobby.

Medication is hugely important so ask your consuelor if she can expedite your appointment. In the meantime do some reasearch on depression medication.

If you experience any anxiety (worry, hurried thoughts, tight muscles, stomach problems or frequent headaches) look into thw two classes of SSRIs (serotonin reuptake inhibitors) which can help anxiety and depression.

Try keeping a journal of your thoughts on yourself and see what it is you don't like about you and your life. Share this with your consuelor so you two can develope an action plan for changing what you truly want to change, and accepting what you can't.

You'll come through this and be a stronger person for it.

Answer 2

Self-change is a slow-moving process, but I can tell you that, in the last two years of therapy and medication I've had, there have been notable changes in my life... so yes, it's possible to change, if you're willing to actually try to change.

Now, I'm not criticizing you here, I'm trying to make a point. I didn't think I'd be able to make the changes to my life that I've made, but I have been able to do it, by taking baby steps toward small goals; after all, taking baby steps is still better than not taking any steps at all. You're trying to climb a mountain in one day and it's not possible. The process is long... it's a rocky, winding, and sometimes terrifying path, but the ground will eventually flatten out a little bit, and the path won't be so twisted, once you can wrap your mind around the basic concepts of self-help. You're going to have to give it time... and at least for now, what else do you have, if not time? Just give it a chance to work, it will be worth it in the end.

Answer 3

I used to have very low self-esteem and went through depression phases combined with suicide attempts. So I know what you are going through. You feel helpless and insignificant and have the power to absolutely nothing.

No one knows about it because I would often hide myself and went through the psychological torture of how worthless I am alone.

I did find a cure for it though after some time. Tell yourself...that nothing is your fault and that everything bad that happens to you is the fault of others. Blame everyone and everything if anything that goes wrong. Say...Fock that and fock this if something goes wrong.

After a while, you will start to feel good about yourself and have more confidence. However, you must be careful. ONLY SAY THAT STUFF IN YOUR HEAD. Do not blurt it out and rant because it will make you look really immature and irresponsible.

It works....try it out.

Answer 4

Do you have a valid reason for hating yourself. Be honest. You are just as good as anyone else. What do you want out of life? Do you enjoy feeling so bad all the time. If not, just make the decision to change your thoughts. You control your thoughts, therefore you can decide if you want to think good/constructive thoughts, or bad/destructive ones.

This is the truth. Some people have different levels of chemicals in their brains which causes them to feel negative a lot of the time, that's probably all it is. But remember the thoughts you have decide the kind of life you lead, and you are 100% in control of the thoughts you have whether you believe it or not. It's hard to understand at first but when you realize it, it's increadibly easy. Make a conscious effort to start controlling your thoughts and then watch as the world changes for you.

Answer 5

Intelligent people, often suffer from depression, as they say ignorance is bliss, your a deep thinker, every person has the right to be happy even if its just fleeting moments, (mainly its just that)
Dont blame yourself for things you have no control over,
i dont have compassion for myself, not many people do, (i care about myself to some extent)) but you probably have a lot of compassion for others its what makes you a very giving and loving person. You should just respect that and take it for what it is. Im sure others do too, you should take a compliment whole heartedly and think no more about it, trust your true self, its the only reliable one in this world.xx

Answer 6

well depression usually runs in the family. If you grew up with a mother or father who hated their selves, it could possibly pass on to you. Please get better so if you have kids they wont go through what your going through. Depression sucks and I can tell you that from personal struggles. I think the pills will help, but after a year or so dont depend on them. try and move on in life with whatever it is that is bothering you. Remember that not all things in life is meant to be good. Live in the moment.

Answer 7

Yes it is possible, the basis is all about self-esteem, and believing that you deserve to be happy. Often it starts from childhood, when we try and punish ourselves so hard to keep our parents from punishing us. It continues into being an adult, we immediately punish ourselves to avoid a worse pain, and it gets to be a habit. Just believe you are a wonderful person who deserves the right to be happy, and can't possibly be at fault for most of the sins of the world. If you want to get better and work at it, you will get better. I promise.

Answer 8

Yes i have been there and im out ther other side, it takes time and you will get there.
It has taken me nearly two years but im there and i still have my down days like everyone but try and keep working at it.
You should of had your med's by now. Get onto her and see what is going on with them. The sooner you start the better.
Good luck hope it works out.

Answer 9

I hated myself for years, and had 10 suicide attempts. It is possible, but you'll need help, and you have to work at it steadily. Most people who hate themselves do so because their parents were either abusive or neglectful. That sets up a tape in your head that says "I'm bad, I'm very bad." You have to counteract this tape with a new one that says "I'm good, I'm very good." Good luck! And the right medication does help.

Answer 10

Yep, been there, done that. In my case I have a very jealous and abusive mother who taught me at a very young age that I was "a piece of ****". In Italian she would say pezzo di merde, which means just that. It took me a lot of years to understand that it was her cruelty that made me feel this way. Maybe someone in your life has convinced you similarly?