How do I deal with three step-daughters (19,16,15) ...?

Question

They do not live with us but visit or call only when they want their dad (my husband) to do something for them or if they have nothing better to do. They are very rude and demanding.

Answer 1

As a step-parent, you do not need to "deal with" these kids. Their father needs to take control.

Apparently, their father's past actions have caused them to turn to him only when they want something.

This isn't your problem, really. I'd just let well enough alone, and let the husband deal with the issue. He made the mess, now he has to fix it somehow.

take care.

Answer 2

You deal with them just like you would any other 19, 16, or 15 year old. What exactly do you think you are going to accomplish? Your husband is the one who should be 'dealing' with their brattiness. Your husband is the one who sets the boundaries and expectations. Does he call them? At this late stage, as old as they are, I don't see much changing...they've been allowed to get away with poor behavior for so long that it would take a lot of patience to try to make changes. Don't get in the middle, don't discourage your hubby from having a relationship with them, but realize that he has to accept that some of the way they behave is because he has allowed them to....if he wishes they were more loving and more involved in his life, then he has to make a huge effort and you will have to support him. I"m sorry, I know it hurts to see him have hurt feelings by his own kids....

Answer 3

perhaps you have not considered the emotional damage divorce does to those involved, ESPECIALLY the children.

children suffer such loss and devastation when parents are divorced, and 99% of the time, no therapeutic help is given or even offered.

then look to their parents... they created these rude and demanding children.