some friends were saying this was not true at school and as my mum was looking after my kids that day my daughter asked if father xmas was real so my mum told her no he wasnt that mummy(me) buys everything im so hurt and angry with my mum as if she asked me i would have told her he is , is she too young to have xmas ruined ?
2007-05-17 06:52:29 · 34 answers · asked by livergirl25 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
or more to the point have the magic taken away so young
2007-05-17 06:53:00 · update #1
this is not as traumatic as u think. father will get over it.
i think its so stupid how we get all worked up over that santa claus. christmas is magical without it. because of cultural differences i never knew who he was and i was not traumatized. the lights, tree, new clothes, mass at midnight, presents, parties, cookies, turkey was all exciting and magical to me.
2007-05-17 06:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
A lot of people feel that if your child can ask the question, they should be old enough to know that Santa isn't real. I don't believe it. I think that the magic should stay real for as long as we can make it so. Even my 14 year old niece asks me if I think Santa is real and I say YES. We have a saying in our house, "Stop believing, stop receiving."
I would definitely tell your mom that she overstepped her bounds by telling your daughter that there is no Santa without your permission.
You might now sit down with your child and talk about Christmas. Tell her that Saint Nick was a real person who really did bring presents to children and that a lot of people still think he still does. Or tell her that Grandma was wrong, and even though some people don't believe it, that Santa is very real. If it can't be taken back and you fear that the magic may be lost, try to help her find the magic again by talking about how we can all keep the Spirit of Christmas alive by living with extra kindness and giving service and love to others at that special time of year.
If you don't believe in Christ, this won't work, but if you do: Christmas is not just about Santa and getting presents. It's also about the gift of the Savior's birth that was given to us a long time ago. The reason we give gifts is in similitude of that ultimate gift and of our desire to bring gifts to the foot of the Christ-child. And if we live with love and wonder in our hearts, Father Christmas will always be real and will always bring us gifts and blessings.
2007-05-17 07:09:59 · answer #2 · answered by Manda B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
uh oh. sounds like a conflict of care giver and mommy. what's done is done, so just do damage control. just let your mom know that you would have rather answered that question, and in the future any other such questions (mommy where do babies come from?). talk to your daughter. "father christmas" was real once upon a time (i think in germany...) and that's where xmas cam from. he isn't a person, but a holiday, a feeling, a season of miracles. he represents the good in all of us, and that gift giving is tied to that. don't know about your religion, but if christian, you can tie in jesus and the magi and gift giving. let her know christmas wont stop. if possible, ask her to create a couple new xmas traditions - instead of cookies and milk left for santa, have cookies and milk before bed, or xmas dinner prep, cookie making, pick 1 present to open xmas eve, etc. involve her and have fun with her new knowledge! (also, remind her that some people still believe, so dont go around school telling everyone like the other kid did). good luck!
2007-05-17 07:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by sexysinglenanny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey!
Think of it this way - do you really want your daughter to believe you (small white lies) and then look like a mayor fool at school? If other people her age knows already... rather focus on the fantasy part and magic part as just that - but she must be able to know the difference between reality and fantasy. Now might be the right time to let her know what Xmas is really about! And I promise you - kids don't worry about whether Christmas father is really real or not - they just want that BRAT doll or PlayStation Portable!! :)
2007-05-17 07:06:04 · answer #4 · answered by Philly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your mom thought she was old enough to know and if she was asking questions bout it from the kids at school saying he isn't real..your mom didn't want to lie to her. I know it's upsetting when they reach that age....but do let your daughter know that the Spirit and Magic of Xmas/Santa/Father Christmas will always be there* Christmas doesn't have to be ruined..always make it the best having family and friends/lovedones near by*
Talk to your mom and let her know that if ur child asks questions such as those or about sex when she gets a bit older....ask ur mom to tell your daughter to go to you for answers* I don't think your mom did this purposely to tick you off..she was asked a question while your daughter was with her and didn't want to lie...was put on the spot and really didn't know how to answer that..so thought best to tell her the truth* Don't be mad with your mum* ~
2007-05-17 07:01:22 · answer #5 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not sit your child down and set the record straight.
Father Christmas, also known as St. Nicholas, is very real.
Here is a good site for information:
http://www.stnicholascenter.org
He lived hundreds of years ago in Myra - in the area we now call Turkey. Around 350 AD, he was a bishop in the Christian Church. He came from a wealthy family and was very generous with the poor.
He especially loved children.
Here's a lovely photo:
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/stnic/images/french-postcard-wmaster.jpg
We keep his memory alive by living the same spirit of love and generosity.
It also helps if you take your children to a toy store and let them pick out a doll or a truck to donate to some poor child who can't afford such things. This is the spirit of Father Christmas at work.
2007-05-17 07:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by Max Marie, OFS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think your mom was wrong in bursting your little girl's dream of Christmas. On the other hand, it was only a matter of time until she figured it out. You can still keep the spirit of Father Christmas alive by teaching her the story (there are many variations of St. Nick, who he was, where he lived, etc and different countries keep his tradition in different ways) and making it a point that you as a family can be Father Christmas for each other. I'm 31 yrs old and my husband still does "Santa" for me and our two boys. When they learn that Santa is Mommy and Daddy we will share the story of the real Santa (Father Christmas, St. Nick, etc) and keep the spirit of this great man alive.
2007-05-17 07:01:34 · answer #7 · answered by mlcg2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By 7 I knew that my parents were doing it, and they told us that "there's a santa as long as someone loves you," making the whole idea a lot less dependent on the existence of some guy who can magically bring everyone presents on one night.
Talk to your daughter and explain why father christmas is important, tell her that it is the spirit of giving and love that is important.
You should also talk to your mother, because she was almost certainly not trying to hurt you or your daughter.
2007-05-17 06:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by disgruntled_gnome72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the cat is out of the bag now. I would just make a game out of it, like I have done with my girls and "Make Believe!!!!!!!" Isn't that what it is all about anyway?
My girls both know that the Santa's at the mall and such are not real. Just some guy dressed up. I am not sure if they really do think Santa is real in all reality. I do know I have told them, if you don't think Santa is real he won't bring you any stuff... so you better act like you do regardless.
2007-05-17 07:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my ex-husband continues to tell my kids that father christmas is a fake. However I continue to tell them that there are a lot of people who think that the mand isn't real, but he is based off a real Catholic Saint (Nicolas) that is the patron saint of children. The spirit of christmas is the most important part and that if you believe in santa, he is real to you. NO MATTER WHAT anyone else believes.
My kids think their dad is an idiot for destroying the spirit of Christmas, but don't care that he wrecked the belief in Santa.
2007-05-17 07:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by norwooddrafting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Xmas is what you make of it. My kids know "Father Christmas" isn't real and Santa, and everything else. But we still celebrate it because it's fun for the kids and it's tradition. Even tho we are not christians.
2007-05-17 06:59:10 · answer #11 · answered by aero_fyre 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋