I have such a low opinion of myself.. I've pretty much got nothing left for me.. i'm 26 years old, currently single.. I've never actually had a girlfriend. I have a really hard time talking to people.. I've asked women out before.. but I usually get a "i'm busy" response from them.. seems to be the only response I get.. and since I do, my self-confidence and self-esteem have hit rock bottom.. I just have the will to try anymore.. but on the other hand.. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.. I want the whole thing.. marriage, kids, love.. but doesn't seem that is in the cards for me.. I need a way to rebuild myself.. I wish I had a delete button, and could erase everything. and be happy again.. but its never that simple.. I need help.. i don't know what to do anymore.. gotten to the point, of "whats the point"...
2007-05-17 06:40:15 · 18 answers · asked by vortekz_ca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
meet people that have the same interests as you do, and talk away, and i know for a fact the ladies like guys who make them laugh, who speak their mind and arent afraid to hold it in, if you keep going with that attitude you're not going to get anywhere....
2007-05-17 06:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by razor_303 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to think about what you want to do. Not think about what can do or what you should do but about what you WANT to do. After that, map out a way to get there, from there do anything and everything you can to get there. As for your love problems welcome home rosey palm and her five friends because the more you search for it the longer it is going to be. On top of that you will never present the aura to attract women if you are not happy with what you are doing or what your currently working towards. If you are unhappy with your life it will show up in your relationships.
Also, go rent the movie What The Bleep Do We Know I think it will help change your perspective. Finally you are 26 so you have a great opportunity's to get loans to go back to school especially because of your age. Take them find a school take out the loans and search for what you want to do because it will help you get there give you a social scene if you live on campus and keeps you productive. It may or may not put you in a lot of debt but you should be getting a job to pay it back, and a life in debt anyways is better than wanting to press delete and start over because at least you know you did.
2007-05-17 06:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by kennethbyrd98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well self esteem can be of many things though/. Are you happy with yourself physically? what kind of girls are you looking for? well where are you looking for girls? some places are just the wrong places to look for girls. a lot of them out there want to just date around and not settle down. but then realise later that they should of settled adn not go through all those crappy relationships. that could be a major thing. a lot of girls say "im busy" because they are nervous. (to be honest i dont know how many times i used that same line also, and it was only because i want to get out of the ahwkward situation so i can talk to them later or some other time when im more ready. only to find out its too late by then.) but i was on the same boat for a long time. i couldnt figure out how everyone around me was getting relationships and i didnt. made me think is there anything wrong with me.that put me down a lot. i actually learned to just love myself and what i have and use it to the max. it was then i was being noticed by a lot of people and found my husband. (who was actually always there) -thats usually how it happens. lol-- but seriously. people can tell you have low self esteem. if youre confident in yourself and who you are, people will see that in you and take notice. thats an attraction of its own. try it. it could be something as simple is how you carry yourself. know that you are a great person. you cant change yourself physical and emothional body, (well unless you have millions of dollars) but then its all fake, and the person you meet is not the right one for you. always remember. this is you and this is just how you are you can sulk about it, or make the absolute best of it. --sorry a bout the long message. a lot to read though. lol
2007-05-17 06:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Princess Kinga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing first, Go and spend a little money on rebuilding your physical outlook. Go have a great haircut, buy new clothes that flatter you(ask the sales assistant for the latest trend) and go get a great tan.
Feeling good about yourself is the first step, At 26 years old you have the world at your feet man. Go read up about gentleman behaviour from victorian ages. Every girl secretly wishes her man has those manners.
If you are working and I am assuming you are, do better than anyone else at your job. ask your boss how. go on, talk with him how to get the job done better.
Concentrate on your job, your health and well being first. Earn the status and the rest will come. Pray to GOD and ask him to help you achieve your goals. and let miracles happen, Just believe.
Do not give up my friend, marriage love and kids will come, be able to provide first, it will come naturally once you have a good pay, a great looking physical outlook and a spiritual belief in GOD... :)
2007-05-17 06:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by akluv13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oboy, I'm 26 too since yesterday, and was pretty much in the same situation as you. Except that I don't want the whole thing.
You don't need help, because nobody can be self-confident at your place, and you know it.
You've got to kick your own b... and find an occupation that will bring you self-esteem and give you the impression that you got an edge. Put some trump cards in your sleeves.
2007-05-17 06:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can any one love you if you dont love yourself? You are looking for love in the wrong places. Dont feel like b/c someone rejected u you are not worthy. You have to be worthy to yourself. Right now if you do find a relationship you would be vulnerable to do anything to keep her there and could wind up hurt. very hurt. First you have to come to a place where you are satisfied for who you are. Build your confidence also women like men with confidence. Just go mingle go out to a bar or so and dont try to meet women just relax have a drink, found out within yourself what you want, how you want it, and how you desire to get it. Put a plan in action starting with building confidence and let it come to you. You can be so busy searching for theone when she comes youmay miss her. Let it come to you right now just focus on building your self esteem and loving yourself no matter what anyone else thinks. Turn everything positive when a woman rejects act like its no biggie youknow like you better than that dont let women decide your fate, and how worthy you are
2007-05-17 06:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Im da Example 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out there and join a gym, or go to the places that people gather and talk. Not necessarily a bar or club. If girls since that your not very confident then they don't want you. Take a crash course in confidence building or fake it. Put on the happy face and be suave. If you not sure what to say ask some coworkers or your buddies.
2007-05-17 08:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by crt35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried getting to know them as friends first?
You could try internet dating sites. With the communication only being through the computer, there's more confidence. And when someone thinks you're already cool and all that, they'll look past everything that could get you a "I'm busy" response.
2007-05-17 06:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by pertinential 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just get out a little more and mingle with different people. Don't look to be in a relationship so fast. Get the know yourself a little more than what you do. Learn to love yourself first than you will be loved they way you want. You will find someone than i know because you are the man and a woman love a man who knows their self and a man with integrity.
2007-05-17 06:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant give up if you exude a low impression of yourself then people will pick up on that ,you need to have confidence in yourself.you cant expect a girlfriend to fall in your lap .if all you say is whats the point,then sooner or later there wont be one get out and have fun maybe theres someone around the corner perfect for you
2007-05-17 06:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Scarlet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-Shrugs- My brother is 20 almost 21... he's never had a girlfriend never gotten laid... never goes out he doesn't have hardly any friends and the ones he does have are all tweeked out tards... (He lives on MY couch by the way, works for MY husband....etc)...
He doesn't shower unless he's forced, He wont brush his teeth AT ALL, unless I mention it to him... (His teeth are rotting out of his head)... he doesn't smell good, my sofa where he sleeps smells... He plays video games and drinks huge amounts of soda... he has acne and he's uber tall and uber thin with NO muscles at all.. He has NO education he went to 10th grade and dropped out... he has no car.. NO motivation to get out of here... -blinks- You think you have it so bad... I can let you speak to my brother and hopefully that will make you feel a bit better.. AND NONE of this Im lying about...
2007-05-17 06:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋