should a woman sell her engagement ring before getting remarried?

Question

I posted this before putting all the info. My girlfriend left her ex over 2 years ago 8 days after giving birth to her child. She lives 300 miles away from me and I told her I don't want to be engaged to someone that far away. Her current job doesn't allow her to save enough money to move. She has told me that her ring is worth $6000. She says she was holding on to it to give to her daughter when she gets older, which would be fine with me if her father was a positive and available person. The reason my girlfriend left him was because he was abusive and a cheater. In her two years of life the father has only spent a total of about 70 hours with his daughter (they may be too high of a number) I'm trying to figure out why she would want to keep a symbol of a failed marraige and bad parenting and give it to her daughter. My idea is sell it and move so that we can start our family.

I posted this before putting all the info. My girlfriend left her ex over 2 years ago 8 days after giving birth to her child. She lives 300 miles away from me and I told her I don't want to be engaged to someone that far away. Her current job doesn't allow her to save enough money to move. She has told me that her ring is worth $6000. She says she was holding on to it to give to her daughter when she gets older, which would be fine with me if her father was a positive and available person. The reason my girlfriend left him was because he was abusive and a cheater. In her two years of life the father has only spent a total of about 70 hours with his daughter (that may be too high of a number) I'm trying to figure out why she would want to keep a symbol of a failed marriage and bad parenting and give it to her daughter. My idea is sell it and move so that we can start our family.

bubbles, I failed to mention that part of the divorce decree states that she cannot live with someone unless she's married. She currently lives with her parents and she doesn't want me to pay for her to move. I want for her to live on her own for a little while so that her daughter gets a little bit of a transition, not to mention she's 29.

Answer 1

You should not have any say at all in what she does with that ring. You didn't buy it and it isn't yours to suggest getting rid of. No matter how that relationship ended, that man is her daughter's father, and that ring will mean a lot to her when she gets older.

You sound like you're really demanding of this woman. Why does she have to move to accommodate your life? And why should she give up a valuable heirloom to do it? If you're going to make her change her life, you should foot the bill.

Answer 2

No, yeah you more in likely won't wear it ever again but that was a part of your life at some part. You loved that person and it at some point meant the world to you. If it was that bad of a relationship I guess it could be understandable---It really just depends on how things ended. If he cheated on you then by all means sell it and buy yourself something nice, diamond earrings, something to show how you've moved on and feel better about yourself now then go for it. So I guess technically I think it all depends on how it all went down. Good luck....

Answer 3

My mother in law has kept her enganement ring and is going to turn it into a necklace (or leave it as a ring) to give to my daughter when she is 16. She figures my father in law bought it as a symbol of love and since they both love their grand daughter thought it would be cute if she wore it as a right hand ring as a symbol of the love they share for her. But if a woman wants to sell it, then sell it, its her ring to do whatever she wants to with it.

Answer 4

I sold mine to a cousin that is getting married.At first I didn't want to sell them,not for the meaning of the first marriage but after divorce the rings were just worth what was paid for (it was alot$$)and they are beautiful. But I had to sell them because my new fiance would not accept for me to keep them and my ex would only sell them so for that I sold.Though I thought we could have saved money instead of buying a second set (just kidding).

Answer 5

Never heard of this. I always thought people kept those or had them made into some kind of keepsake. Why would you want to sell something like that anyway. It should be something that means a lot to a person and selling it would totally defeat the purpose of it wouldn't it?

Answer 6

hmm if you want her to move in with you then why don't you pay for her to move. If she wants to keep it for her daughter she is just trying to provide something to connect her to her dad. Nothing wrong with that even if he is not the best dad that is her dad. Maybe she would like to trade it in for a different ring maybe one for her and one that the daughter could have when she gets older. Don't expect her to forget she had a past just because you are gonna be together. I think you are acting jealous over her past and need to get over it.

Answer 7

Not if she doesn't want to. It probably still holds a lot of memories (good and bad) of a time in her life.

If she is not comfortable with it as a ring, how about unmounting the diamond and having it turned into a pendant?

I think it is always good to keep a momento to remember how you got to this point in life.

Answer 8

A woman is supossed to wear her engagement ring with the wedding band. Dont understand why anyone would sell it.

Answer 9

Only if she wants to, or she can have it made into something nice =) I have a friend who kept hers while she was engaged to someone else, she didn't know what to do with it at the time.

Answer 10

First offer to give it back, but if you're not on speaking terms or he doesn't want it, GIVE IT AWAY. You certainly don't want to profit from your ex. BUT, the last thing you should do is store it in your jewelry box. Now, that's from the mans standpoint.