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4 answers

What my FH and I are doing is letting his step-mom walk in first followed by his mother then my mother. I think that's appropriate enough especially if they have a decent relationship. If not, she can already be sitting down like the rest of the guest.

2007-05-17 06:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by newsgal03 4 · 2 1

It completely depends on the relationship. Some brides feel the stepmom is just as much a mother--as she is the one who was there on the first day of school, first boyfriend, graduation, etc. They want some part of the ceremony to reflect this woman's role. Other brides have the typical evil stepmom who just moved in and thinks she owns the place. It really depends. If my dad had remarried after I was in college (aka out of house) or after I was engaged, I doubt I would have mentioned her at all. After all, she wouldn't be anything to me. Not as a sign of disrespect--she'd be a guest and sit next to my father. But no reason to add in a moment in the ceremony for someone the bride doesnt really know.

I had a friend who had the fathers light the unity candle. I've also heard of a blended family who did sand. The mother put some in her vial, the dad added some, the step mom added some. And that was her side of the sand that she blended with her husbands. That would only work if you and the ex wife were on speaking terms. Some brides fear the mom (exwife) and stepmom even being in the same CHURCH together!

And also it depends on the religious beliefs/doctrine. Some don't consider remarriages binding.

My church does it this way. On the invite it said The Bride, daughter of Mother Jane Smith and Father John Doe. The mother lights the unity candle. The 2 mothers would be escorted by ushers and seated in the reserved pew. The step mom would have no actual part in the ceremony. But again--thats up to the bride. Another friend will probably have her stepmom do all that, and her mom is merely an invited guest since she hasn't seen her mom in over 10 years.

Though like I said--they'd have to be able to sit next to each other. After the father has presented his daughter, he'd return to sit next to your side. Between his daughter's mother and next to his wife (you).

Same thing about the brides who are trying to figure out if dad or step dad should give them away/dance the father-daughter dance.

I guess the short answer is--there really is no "proper" way. It's all a delicate balancing act, in an attempt to not hurt anyone's feelings.

2007-05-17 13:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0 1

u should sit with ur husband as for taking part in it is the bride and the grooms day. the only parents that really get credit is the mother and father of the bride when they ask who give her away. the father should say her mother and i. its the brides wedding and everyone there will know whose who.... as for the after party.. u can shake hands and say im soso the brides step mom... i had mine at my wedding but she was only there cause my father brought her. i didnt like my stepmom but i did like my stepdad and everyone already knew who he was. now if its a rare case and she only have u and no mother then the dad can say the mother and i and nod toward u. but one thing to keep in mind it is her wedding and u shouldnt push anything. things happen for a reason.

2007-05-17 13:28:30 · answer #3 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0 0

she should be presented as the brides father's wife so and so . She also be at his side .

2007-05-17 13:24:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

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