any advise on dealing with a 3 year old that wants everything his way?

Answer 1

It's called being 3. You have to stand your ground and stay consistent.

Answer 2

Say no and mean it! Mine is now 4, yet we still occasionally see the Commander in action. And really try to pick your battles. If its something Major, then stand your ground no matter how big a fit is thrown. Thats hard but neccessary. We would offer choices. You can have this or that...No, that isn't a choice...THIS or THAT. That gives little ones a sense of power over something, only you as the grown up pick what the choices are. The longer you stick to limited choices, the easier it will be.
We never really did the bribe thing. My son thought that every time we went shopping he was entitled to a 'prize'. Really, we are still working with that, but for a majority of the 'game on' battles, it wound up as a choice.
Make a big deal about what a great choice they made, how smart they are, any and all things you can say to make them proud to be acting like a 'big kid'. Even on simple things like getting to pick which color straw they want, or plate to use for supper. It makes them feel a little bit more in control over their enviroment, and their body.

Power and control...My life in a nutshell !!
Good luck, and STAND YOUR GROUND!!!

Answer 3

I have a 3 year old who doesn't like the word "no" much at all! Sometimes it seems like a war and I refuse to give in. You might get tantrums and crying. If you give in, the child has won and will be back for another round. When my son cries and rolls around on the floor, I ignore him and finish what I am doing. He figures out his tantrum is not working and after some wars, learns to take "no" for answer.

Answer 4

As the parent you should be able to see disgreements coming. Of course he wants everything his way...he's three! Let him learn to make a few choices but only leave the option for good choices. Example. It's snack time. You know he wants a few oreos but you'd rather he have fruit or a veggie. You don't say "what do you want for snack time" and give him the option of freaking out for the cookies. You say "It's snack time, do you want apples or celery?" My husband makes this mistake all the time and we're on toddler #4. He'll say "Do you want to take a nap?" vs what I say which is "It's naptime, do you want your bear or your blanky?"

It's just a matter of letting them be independant while you still maintain the control. Good luck :)

Answer 5

haha...it's funny you posted this. My 2 year old as we speak is trying to yank my blinds down! If I tell him no, he says no back and keeps going! He's cracking me up, because I know it's the age and the frustration of not being able to do everything he wants to do. If I don't understand what he says, he REALLY has a melt down. He's the youngest of four and he had a LOT of health problems, so maybe I cave a little more than I should. I'm curious to hear others advice as well.

LOTS OF LUCK!!!!

Answer 6

Be firm...you do not need to spank...rememebr you are the adult and you need to teach him how to calm down...and that they can't have everything they want.. Get down to the 3 year olds eye level and be firm...if they don't want to listen thay can have a time out until they are ready but don't give in even if you want to pull your hair out or gouge your own eyeball out of your head...if they know you will give in...they will never give up.


EDIT: as above...giving choices is a great way to get kids to do things just make sure thay are choices you can live with.

Good luck

Answer 7

I have a 2 1/2 year old and already she is that way, if she doesn't get what she wants she will cry and cry and not listen to me. I just let her cry, if I give in just because she is acting out and give her what she wants then she'll do it all the time. She gives up in the end when she realizes that her acting out doesn't work.

Answer 8

He has to understand that you are in charge. A firm no should be enough. If the child acts up, cries and screams, then I would suggest a timeout. If he doesn't sit, then hold him on your lap. The idea is that he must remain in timeout for 3 minutes (1 minutes for each year of his life). Remind him why he's in timeout, and again when he's ready to get out.
I did this with my niece who screamed and cried the entire 3 minutes, but the next time I told her "keep that up and you get a timeout" she behaved herself.

Answer 9

All three year olds want things their way! This is part of growing up. The trick is to set rules and boundaries and STICK WITH IT. Be consistent! If you share parenting duties with someone else make sure you both have the same rules and are consistent with them. Your child will test these rules but if you stick with the same rules your child will begin to accept them and challenge them less.

As one person recommended spanking, I do not recommend spanking or hitting your child. Every action that we take is a role model for the child. If we hit them when we are unhappy with them, we are teaching them to hit when they are displeased with someone.

Answer 10

The parents most used two-letter word - "NO" !!

I've used it now for 4 kids... 17, 12, 6, and 3. My Wife and I are VERY good now at just staring the little ankle-biter down and saying "NO" !! We stick TO it... and also explain WHY (yes, we occasionally resort to "Because WE SAID SO !!"

And YES, we look forward to (in 5 to 10 years) spoiling our grandchildren and GIGGLING our butts off as our elder daughters have to go thru it ALSO !!

Good luck !!

Answer 11

Be their friend..say I will let my friend go first.....the next time say "will you let your friend go first"?
Always say here's the choice: "would you like brussel sprouts or zucchinni?" - Your little one should be told "good choice" on whatever he chooses that way he's confident that he got his way AND made you proud.
If He throws things when he gets mad or turns on ya or something like that...tell him " please don't hurt my feelings"...he will learn that handleing things that way upsets his "friend"
If he refuses to do something...(for ex.) you and your mom and your son are in the kitchen..you say "all friends work together"..."I will pick this up/grandma will pick that up/ and will you pick this up Please"...if he refuses- just pick it up / let your mom pick up the other thing/ and when you're done- high five each other and say "good friends/good help/ good job!" and be happy...who wouldn't want to be included in that happy little celebration...
It may take a little while- just try to think about how important it is to a 3 yr. old to make his parents happy...make people smile....and be praised instead of in trouble.
Make it fun and it not only teaches them- it also reduces the stress level for you!