Why do husbands get to be the head of the household, according to to the Bible?

Question

I've had Christians tell me that husbands should be in charge of their families, as long as they rule with kindness. To me, it seems like husbands are simply benevolent dictators by this argument. Why can't doctrine make wives equal partners in a nuclear family?

Answer 1

Jesus is the head of man, man is the head of woman... yada yada yada... somehow they are all equal, but different... utter nonsense

Answer 2

Wives are equal partners. The way I see is that a husband and wife are equal and are one team to accomplish the same goals together. however, just like any team, each one has different roles and duties for success. Since the wife bares children and has a much more sensitive and stronger spirit, they are in charge of the home and children. The husband being less sensitive but more physical is perfect for the role of provider and protector. so the husband takes lead and responsibility for the family. Of course sometimes the roles have to be reversed, but there is no problem in that. Men and women are equal in family responsibilities, but just provide different roles.

You also must realize that in the Bible it was tradition the men lead the family. Many mid-East and Asia cultures still think that females are un-honorable. Plus there is the argument that when the Bible was compiled that the writers purposefully subdued and greatly diminished the role of women fearing that they could gain more power over men. Look at witch hunts as another example, free thinking women were tortured and killed.

Men and women are equals, but women have an extra sense (womens' intuition, mothers instinct, and more); that have scared men in the past a present.

Answer 3

It says this in the Bible because at the time it was the men who 'earned the money' and all of the women 'stayed home' and 'kept house' ... but if you 'read carefully' you'll see that Jesus tried to 'change that' (and that was amazing because it was 'women's liberation' over 2000 years ago!) ... through the many 'stories' about women in the New Testament. Okay, the thing about women being 'subservient' to their husbands it in the New Testament, too ... but they are all in things written by Paul, who was evidently a 'male supremacist' who hated women, gays, and people who even 'had sex' ... but that doesn't mean that the thing Paul wrote didn't say some 'good things' we need to learn and use, too.
My husband and I are both 'converted Catholics' and we are 'married forever and beyond' ... he works, and I'm retired and 'stay at home' ... but in our household, I actually 'control' the money, because I am the one who goes out and does the shopping (although we do the grocery shopping together, because my husband is the cook in our household), and whose job it is to make our apartment 'look good' and be comfortable. I 'don't have to do the housework' and I am free to hire a housekeeper ... but I didn't even 'think of' this ... my husband did, because he was worried about me getting 'too tired' and being in too much pain if I do everything myself. Although we 'both rule' and discuss virtually everything in our house, I still think that my husband is the 'head' of our household because he is the one who brings in the regular paycheck. I am also 'spoiled' by him ... not only does he do the cooking, but he actually washes my back when I am taking a bath ... brings me flowers every week or so (and sometimes more often) ... and I'm sorry, but if that makes him a 'benevolent dictator' in your eyes, to me he's 'the best man in the world' ... and I'm glad I'm married to him.
You can't decide the 'doctrine' that would make wives 'equal partners in a nuclear family' ... and who says that everyone in the world MUST live in a 'nuclear family' to begin with. It's not 'church doctrine' that men must be the head of the household ... it's just something that is 'inferred' from a few verses in the various writings of St. Paul. So I think that you need to 'get off your high horse' and do something to change your own marriage and how it works instead of 'crying in your beer' about how 'the Bible' is picking on you, a 'poor woman' ... which is really what your 'question' is telling me.

Answer 4

Everything in nature tells us that democracy doesn't work. A leader, figurehead, etc. is needed even if it's just like a symbol. We say the US is a democracy, but it's actually a form of a republic with a figurehead leader Bush. We think that he runs the country, but his advisors really do.....they make more decisions for him than anyone-else.

We all know what in general, women seem to have more control in the marriage anyway.....in general. And we can also break it down by categories:

Women rule the kitchen, bedroom, living room, closets, restrooms, etc.
Men rule the garage and sometimes the backyard.
Women rule the kids.
Men rule the cars (sometimes).
Women rule the finances.
Men rule the applicanes and TV.
etc.

So, if we say that a man is the head of the household, it's just as a figurehead and nothing more. It's equal through and through, but with the man acting as a mediator to provide some leadership.....someone has to....it's just part of nature.

Don't make this a bigger issue than it actually is.

Answer 5

Then how would you settle a disagreement? By a vote? If you only have two people, that is a deadlock.

If there is a hard decision to be made, then someone has to make the call, and take responsibility for the outcome. That is why a company has a CEO, or a president. The leader is not always the most intellegent, but someone has to have the authority to make the tough decisions when no one can agree, in order to move forward.

God appears to have arbitrary choose the man to be the head. Even if it is arbitrary, at least the choice is clear, and no one has to argue about it, or compete for it. Competition between husband & wife (to see who is the smartest, wisest, or who makes the most money) can ruin a marriage through back stabbing & manipulation.

Answer 6

The Bible says when man and woman marry they become as one. Therefore if the husband is the head of the household the wife is as well since they are one. We are to work together and in support of each other not one over the other. Being in charge of the families means not physically and not in the ok it's 10 it's time for you to go blow your nose kind of controlling charge. Kind of like the verse that states as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. In other words be a leader by example. It doesn't mean a controlling dictorial leadership.

Answer 7

God did just that. There are several verses that speak of how a man and a woman interact in a marriage, some Christians just pick through them and choose those that seem to make the man the dominant figure.
I don't suppose it would surprise you much to find that most of those who do this are men? And since, for a very long time, they kept women from even learning to read, we had only their word for it. Of course, now that we can read for ourselves, we know better. Don't we?
Perhaps we ought to remind these guys of people like Deborah...you can read her story in Judges 4-5.
Then there is Rahab, and Ruth...there are many more, but I can't think of them all off the top of my head.
The best example, of course, is Mary. She didn't ask Joseph before she told the angel that she would do whatever God asked of her. She made up her own mind...and the world is (or ought to be) grateful to her.

OH, I ought to mention...I am not a Catholic.

Answer 8

Probably the best reason is that the man was expected to protect, defend and support the wife.

But the biggest issue is why everyone always wants to overlook the second part of the commandment about husbands and wives: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:25 - 28

A husband is to place the welfare of the wife above his own well-being and should never take any action that places her in a lower status, disparages her, takes advantage of her or abuses her or his position. By placing the wife's welfare on par with his own the husband considers her needs and welfare equally to his own and puts them on an equal footing.

Answer 9

Someone must take the lead and husbands are answerable to the Christ for their conduct as Jesus is answerable to God for conduct with his organization in heaven and on earth.

Wives are likend to Christ's bride having an important position in the family. Christ's bride is his congregation or organization in heaven and on earth.

All have important responsibilities and obligations. By maintaining proper positions, families work better. Children see the love and mutual respect of the parents that make more impact than any words they may say.

Answer 10

Men are the spiritual leader of the household....the house belongs to the wife...she runs the house....the man is to be the glue that binds...equally with the wife....a man that is a dictator in the role is using the role for selfish purposes....love you wife, neighbor, fellow human being as yourself would not allow the person to be a benevolent dictator...so there is way more to it than just words.

Answer 11

Because at the time the apostles were dealing with this issue it was a societal norm. It is my belief, and the belief of many Christians that the letters to the churches were to address specific problems of the beginning Christian churches.

Jesus obviously put great store in the value of women and despite editing or whatever....his interactions with women in the gospels were many...so take it from Jesus who obviously did not see women as secondary to anyone.

The Ol' Hippie Jesus Freak
Grace and Peace
Peg