I take care of a child, whose mother doesn't believe in spanking is almost 2 & doesn't listen what can I do?

Question

The mother was an abused child and doesn't believe in spanking her child, I have 4 children of my own (16-5),I do know kids, I have this little boy 50-60 hrs per wk. and he doen't listen at all. I know for a fact that he is very spoiled since he is her first child. When I would tell her how he was for that day, she would laugh and say well he's only 14mon., so I stopped saying anything because it felt like a waste of time. I don't claim to be an expert but w/4 children of my own plus I do daycare ages running from 6 months to 10 and have for many years, , all the others listen and do what they are told except for him. What can I do for this one little boy?

I only have one more month with him, have already let her know just giving her time so she can find someone else. I have tried the taking away priveledges and the time out, the crib thing etc. Bye the way he is over 2 now been watching him since Aug. and I do watch Nanny 911, look at how horrible those kids are and it's a tv show who knows what really happens afterward. My kids were spanked not beaten and they all are perfectly fine. The bible says "Do not spare the rod" so when my other daycare kids are bad they get a brief little swat, their parents do the same.I feel sorry for him because I give him extra attention and it still doesn't work. To the person who said a 14 mon. old is still just a baby, yes I agree but what is the first word a baby learns when they start exploring? NO this little guy doesn't understand that word. Bye the way, to all that answered the mother is a drug addict and really doesn't pay attention to him so I feel as a mother I kind of have to.

Answer 1

Simple she needs to find a sitter who patterns their parenting skills to match hers.It is very diifficult to be responsible for a child,who is at an age where right and wrongis being taught,and the parent is against it.The is a HUGE difference between beating and tapping the child on his hand with your hand...I agree...I have a twelve year old who has not had to recieve many spankings at all,but i would tap her bottom or her hand if she needed it...and she probably can not count the times in her life she even spanked...discipline is needed in some form at a certain age

Answer 2

Let the child go. If the parent refuses to cooperate with you in finding a way to help her son follow the rules better then you need to tell her you can't watch him anymore. Start looking for a new child to take his place and once you found one give her a two week notice and explain to her why you are doing this. You are the one around the kids everyday you can tell what is normal behavior and what is not. She probably has no one to compare his behavior to. I would warn her maybe first and let her know how hard it is with having to constantly discipline him and take care of all the other kids. Good Luck

Answer 3

I agree with another answerer of yours, I also watch super nanny and she has some wonderful ideas on how to discipline children with out causing them physical pain, I am also a parent who does not believe in spanking at all -I find the practice abusive. I will either have a long talk with my kids, or if that does not work I take away possessions that they favor and make them earn them back, this has worked great for me.

Answer 4

Tell her you cannot watch him anymore because he is out of control. Tell her until she can learn how to make him obey when he is told to do/not to do something then she will have trouble keeping a babysitter or daycare provider. The truth hurts but sometimes it's just necessary, can you imagine what kind of person this child will grow in to if he's not stopped now?

Answer 5

If some of the above answers dont work, then tell the parent that you can no longer watch their child. If that child is a danger to the other children and you cant control him/her, then other parents may pull their children out. Better to lose that one child (and get a better kid in its place) than to lose two or three good kids.

Answer 6

The little boy is obviously screaming for attention - from his mother, from you, from whoever. Fifty to sixty hours a week is waaaaaaay too much time in daycare. The mother needs to cut back on her work hours and spend more time with him. And even if his mother DID believe in spanking, you should lose your daycare license if you would even consider striking anyone else's child!!!!!!!

Answer 7

You really don't have a choice. You have to honor the wishes of the mom. Either deal with it or stop watching him. My mother in law runs a daycare and almost all of the kids are like that. Most of the moms just think it's "cute" that their kids curse and are horrible.

Answer 8

I do belive in spanking, but I don't believe anyone but mom and dad have the right to spank my child. I would be very put off if I found out my daycare provider was spanking my child.

Have you done time-outs with this child? Have you taken priveleges away from him?

Answer 9

i personally dont think you have a right to spank him or any of those kids.
even if the parents agree, they are NOT your children.
they are taken to you for "daycare" not to be disciplined.

it doesnt matter if you have 20 kids of your own.
im not saying im against spanking.

but everyone has there own way of raising and discipling their own children, and no matter what yu think of it, you have to respect it.
if the child is that much of a problem tell the mother that its not working with him because he requires extra attention and you have other children to attend to.
and like yu said, yu have one month, if she tries to stay with yu just tell her that you have allready filled in your time and space with other children and she needs to find someone else

Answer 10

Well I don't think most would think spanking a 2 year old would be appropriate or useful at all, seems like something for older kids as I'm not sure there is a good way to make that work for a kid that age. But just tell her she should find someone else to watch him because there is a difference in values and you feel he would be better off with someone who is more in agreement with her beliefs.