I'm an atheist, but my ex-wife is a Christian. I now have sole custody of our 7 year old daughter, who we raised as a Christian. She has recently learned that Santa Claus doesn't exist. She started asking me about the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc. and I told her that they don't exist either. I'm tired of this Christian nonsense, so I also told her that it's the same way with Jesus. She cried for hours, and now she seems very depressed. I'm glad she's an athiest now, but what can I do to cheer her up?
2007-05-17 04:46:16 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
boy, that was very selfish of you to do that to your 7 year old. how about going back to her and telling her that everyone has different beliefs and what you believ is that Jesus doesn't exist and that when she is older she can make up her own mind. but forcing your daughter to be an atheist and traumatizing her is just as bad as a Christian who tells their kids to believ or go to hell. no wonder she cried for hours. tell her you are sorry for hurting her and then let her grow into whoever she is supposed to be.
2007-05-17 04:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is now confused because you have contradicted everything that you and her mother have taught her since she was born. Did you even give her a reason why you are now believing differently than what you have taught her? She is not an atheist; she is too young to make that kind of decision for herself yet. As someone who grew up a child of divorce and now a mother myself, I would encourage you to think carefully when you are teaching your child things that are very different from the things that you have always taught her or that her mom teaches her now that you have custody of her. Does she have contact with her mother? If so, the two of you need to bury your differences and come to the conclusion that you are going to love and support this child NO MATTER WHAT! Since you and her mother have different beliefs concerning religion, it would be best for your daughter if you present your views rationally (not out of bitterness) when she is old enough to understand what the differences are than to try to force your beliefs on her now. There is no magic wand that will instantly "cheer her up"; you have taken away something that she has always known and loves. If you want to try and help her, you will have to show her love and compassion as a father. You might also try researching the facts before you jump to conclusions about things; Jesus was in fact a man who really did exist.
2007-05-17 06:17:29 · answer #2 · answered by mom of 4 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are in tittled to your beliefs how ever your daughter is 7 and there was no need to do what you did. You could have explained your feelings on religion to her when she was old enough to make her own choice. Also I am sure she would have realized about the Easter bunny and tooth fairy on her own. Did you really need to take away her childhood? What did you gain here? Put some money aside as your daughter will need therapy after living with you for a while.
2007-05-17 04:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Boy you opened a can of worms in here.Heres what I think.
I was never raised in church.I don't go now. My children they do.How that happened i don't know.
Two like baptist churches, one like a catholic church one is a church of christ and the other is a sinner like me (lol)
As for the bible, the only parts i fool with are the things that aren't really religeous (sp?) but are just good rules to live by. Treat others how you want to be treated, don't steal you know the things parents should teach kids anyways.
When they ask me questions, I ask what they think about it. I don't encourage or discourage. I want them to see everything for themselve and make their own decisions.
As far as cheering her up, You could try telling her that even though these folks are not real you will pretend you are them on the holidays. I do that with my kids and they love it. I sign notes the tooth fairy then I put (MOM) underneath it. Christmas time I have a santa beard that I put on and I tell them to come tell me what they want. they love it especially since i'm a 110 pound girl with no other santa props.
You can get creative. It's really all just about having fun and enjoying life to the end.
2007-05-17 07:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by shortpplrule01 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leaving religion aside you misled your daughter. Jesus, the man, did exist and is recognized as a prophet at least, even in islamic and jewish writings. His place in your heart so far as if he were the son of God may be open for debate but his existence on earth had never been. Children have things that they want to believe in, as with Santa Claus and no harm comes to those who do. Don't steal her childhhood just yet. I don't think she IS an atheist, I think she is trying to believe in what you do but is torn between that and what she always thought was true. Let her make up her own mind as she matures. Between Christians and atheists one thing is certain, somebody is wrong. Who says your the one that is right?
2007-05-17 04:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by Robert P 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, because she is depressed doesn't mean she is an atheist now. You think that by telling her these things she will accept your faith but you have really done is ruined your level of trust with her. You raise her to age 7 as a Christian and then drop this bomb on her? Why would you want to hurt her??? To get your point across?? Isn't it enough trauma to get shipped back and forth between parents who can't get along? You need to be a real man and put your feelings aside on what you believe to be "Christian nonsense" and work on building a relationship with her. Right now, you suck as a dad. Real dads put the emotional stability of their children (which you and your spouse ruined by the way with divorce) before their own feelings.
2007-05-17 06:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
first off,how do you know she is an atheist?just because you told her Jesus doesn't exist,does'nt mean she has to accept it!I think that was really crappy of you to do that to her! Whatever petty little arguments you may have with your ex-wife,should stay between the two of you!
If you really care about her feelings,tell her that you should not have said that to her,and that Jesus does exist,and she has the freedom to believe in Him,whether You do or not!
2007-05-17 05:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You reap what you sow and sadly so is your innocent little girl! She's reaping what YOUV'E sown. Apologize for offending her (put it in childs terms) and offer to take her to church and Sinday school. But if you can't handle your daughter being happy than just continue to hurt her by being selfish and narrow-minded. I feel sorry for her. Anyway God still loves her no matter what.
2007-05-17 10:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by Honee-Bee93 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
omg, what on earth did u do?? if ur life is messed up and ur beliefs r twisted that doesnt mean u should implement it on ur daugher. u made ur choice to b an atheist. dont make that decision for her. she believes in jesus, good for her, why deprive her of the salvation of her soul? Jesus DOES exist and i hope u and ur family would b touched by his mercy.
as for ur daugher, i feel sorry for her. congratulations, u just ruined her life, and afterlife. hope she'll meet better people in her life who would bring her back to her creator and savior. God bless her, and u of course.
2007-05-17 04:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Mirt 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This must have been awfully confusing for her. I probably would have let her draw her own conclusions, and/or discussed the situation with her mother first. A child shouldn't be "depressed," and I recommend speaking to a child psychologist.
2007-05-17 04:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Stephen L 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋