19 and want a baby?BFF thinks its a mistake?

Question

Is this normal?I am in my first year starting my 2nd year this fall of college and i feel a baby would make me work even harder at school.I want a baby so badly i want to have someone to love and take care off.I do babysit for my aunt son who is 1.5 yrs old but this makes me want a baby even more?I also have 3 dogs. My best friend ho is a guy said he thinks its a mistake.Three days ago i bought an ovulation test kit out of curosity he thinks i need to throw it away else i will be temped to use it?

Answer 1

I think you should finish college, get a job, and get where you want to be in life before you take on another life.

Answer 2

Having a baby is not going to make going to school any easier. You'll most likely will have to drop out if you get knocked up. I'd suggest you stay in school and get your degree so you can find a well paying job. Raising a child is not cheap. The $150 a week they'll take out of your paycheck for health insurance is just the beginning. I'd wait until you have a degree, find a job, are financially stable, and have a baby daddy who has done the same. Baby sitting and actually having your own child is a big difference. When you baby sit its only for a couple of hours. Having a child is a lifetime commitment. You should really reconsider having baby at this time. You're barely even an adult yourself.

Answer 3

Do what you want but plan ahead. I had my first at 17 the beginning of my senior year of highschool. I went straight to college afterwards and just finished my second year. I'm pregnant again due dec so midway through my 3rd year of college. I'm not worried about it. This one is planned. Me any my partner both make fairly good money. I think it would be harder to have your first during college though based on living arrangments etc. Cant stay in dorm, have to adjust during school. I already live in family housing etc so theres not as much that needs to be changed before the baby arrives other than the normal things. I hope that you arent going to trick anyone into getting pregnant or have a baby by someone who isnt fully ready because while I did have my son for a while by myself in school it's so much easier with me and his father together. You really wont want to go through having a child alone.

Answer 4

BFF is right, it is a mistake, a big one. The problem with a baby is that once you have it, you can't "take it back".

I've known a couple of girls who felt the same way as you do, both of them had babies while in college, neither of them finished school. One is working at two menial jobs to support herself and the child. The other is living with the father of the child, and he is much less than the "ideal mate". She has been having a lot of "accidents" lately.

Finish school, get a job, find someone who you can establish a relationship with, put some money in the bank, then have a baby. It works out better for all concerned.

Answer 5

A newborn is a bit more of a responsibility then babysitting a 1.5 year old. First because he's alittle older and can manage some stuff on his own. Secondly because you're just babysitting, so anytime you get annoyed or tired you have the pleasure of knowing that his mom will pick him up. You'll have to put college on hold for about 3 years and might be reluctant to send your child off to day-care. If not, you still will have a financial obligation to your child and unless you're wealthy already, might not be able to work and attend college full-time, causing your degree to take longer and in the mean time staking on more financial hardships because you're barely squeezing by as it is. Wait until you're financially stable for you and your child's sake. You don't want have in your head that the only reason your child can't be given everything they want is because they were born alittle too early.

Answer 6

You don't know the meaning of sleep deprivation and exhaustion until you've had a baby. Sleep deprivation isn't exactly helpful if your intention is to work harder in school. You will feel more tired and more drained and more stressed than you have ever felt in your life, and with a child around, there's barely any "me" time to decompress. Not to mention, that is not a good reason to bring a human being into the world. Everyone sees the cuteness of other people's babies, but the difference with holding other people's kids is that you get to LEAVE afterward. With your own child, it's all your responsibility ALL the time, including middle of the night.

I love my kids to pieces, but I have to say, even with being a stay-at-hom mom while they are small, it is STRESSFUL. I cannot imagine trying to juggle school and exams and starting a life. I know single moms do it, but the majority fail and those who make it would have been SO much further ahead if they had been able to focus on their studies and career first and then added babies later.

Answer 7

You should never have a baby becuase you think it will be better for YOU!!! Having a baby is nothing like having a dog...are you kidding me. Having your own baby is completely different than taking care of someone elses, babysitting last a few hours....your kids are 24/7 for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. And a baby should be a decision between TWO people who feel they are ready to bring a child in to their lives, not one who has a craving...you are in college... having a baby won't make you work harder...it will make it harder to work. Wait until you and you BF are both ready and both want a baby...Sure as **** if you get pregnant and he didn't want too, he will end up resenting you, might leave and then you will be a single parent trying to get threw college...get real and grow up. Having ababy now would be selfish and unfair to you, your child and your bf.

Answer 8

I was a senior in college on a full athletic scholarship I had one semester to go and I got pregnant. Now don't get me wrong having my babies was the best thing to ever happen to me but how selfish I was not waiting a little while longer. To think of the life I could of given my children with having a job with a degree instead of living pay check to pay check. Who knows when I'll find the time to finish college, not now at least , I have my hands full! No one said it can't be done,but why make it any harder on yourself. My advice would be to establish your life first, then start a family.

Answer 9

You're either a genius or not taking hard enough classes. Try getting a full time job and see how that fits into your schedule.

If you think having a baby will make you work harder at school, you are not ready for a baby. Mothers of newborns get 0 time for themselves (and about as much sleep); where in that 0 do you think study will fit?

I'm not that far out of college that I don't remember how hard it was to carry 16-18 university semester credits and work. My plants & goldfish died from neglect.

Answer 10

You want a baby now, but will you want it later? Think about what's best for your future child. Will he'she benefit from having a mom with a college degree who is settled in a career or a mom who is rushing to the babysitter so she can make it to her World Civilizations class ontime.

What I am trying to say is that what may seem like the best decision right now in the short term, may not be the best decision in the long term.

Enjoy the days of your youth; travel, study, fall in love, or make a boat load of money. But do it now while you don't have the responsibility of a child.

Pray that God will give you guidance with this questions, I'll be praying for you too.

Answer 11

Only you can really answer this one. But look at it this way. You have a few years left of college and then you will have stability (financially) to bring a child into the world. You will also have had time to experience a few big milestones in your life like turning 21, graduating, etc. Also every child deserves to have both a father and a mother who want the child and will be there for it throughout its life. Sometimes we can't have what we want when we want it. But if we are patient and make good choices to help the outcome along, then we will be rewarded later when the time is right.