I need help...?

Question

my mom had kidney failure when I was 11 and I moved from my home town to houston for better medical advice. she got a kidney transplant from her half sister and everything was getting better. then my dad started drinking more... and more... and more. he started coming home at 4 in the morning stumbing all over the place drunk as hell. i used to hear it alot, maybe three times a week. he left my mom. stuck us in a one bedroom apt. my mom was depressed, i was depressed. he would come and visit me maybe 3 times a month, if i was lucky. I never knew why he left my mom though, i thought he loved her... me and my mom moved to san antonio to get away from the ghetto and i barely talked to my dad, maybe once a month on the phone. then one day I get a call from this guy... chris. he said my dad is in the hostpital and i need to come see him. me and my mom pack up our bags and leave to houston. we get there and chris is his lover! my dad was gay!!! literally. that is what he was hiding from us.

Well, my dad started having seizures and everything went down hill from there. He had brain damage, lung cancer, EVERYTHING was wrong. he was in a coma for three days... never woke up. doctors said I should talk to him, he can hear me. I highly doubt that is true. now he is dead. gone from my life. and no matter how much he hurt me... i still miss him. i wish i had a dad that i could run to. now all i have is my crazy mom and hates me... and her drunk boyfriend that ALWAYS drinks. i'm so sick of life. i'm sick of always being dealt the crappy hand. when will things EVER get better??!!! I miss my dad, i wonder what he is doing now... belevieing in god is SOOOO hard to do, becuase it sounds like magic. with god and jesus and everything. what if it isnt like that?! what if we do nothing. we remember nothing. our whole life was a waste of time... it means nothing to no one. .... gosh. im depressed. do you know any places where i can go and talk about my dad to people that wont judge?? help

Answer 1

you surely have been through quite a lot, hon...

i can see why you are upset and distressed.

and it's sad to hear your mother has married someone else with alcohol problems -- she seems to be repeating what she lived with your father. we usually gravitate toward the same "types" of men.... like it or not.

i've looked up a few websites for you.. they are for self-help. one is alateen, which is for kids whose lives have been affected by alcoholics. you might be able to find alateen group meetings held in your community. get in touch with the local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter for help with this.. but i hope the website is helpful.

i've also found a couple of self-help websites which deal with coping with the loss of a father and coping with grief. the second one (griefworksbc) has an "articles" tab, and i've noticed quite a lot grief resources and articles for teens here, including some which deal with the death of a parent.

the last two links are help for teens with depression... perhaps all or some of these websites will give you ideas for help, and support.

if you have any adults you respect and trust, you could consider talking with them about your feelings right now. you might need someone who will listen... or a school counselor?

i am concerned and i care, so took the time to try and find you helpful links....sometimes we need to get help by helping ourselves, too (it can be hard, but it is worthwhile).

i'm sending hugs and love your way, and i hope you will get some helpful answers here. xo

Answer 2

Talk to your school counselor and ask them to recommend someone you can talk to because they are trained to help you.

It is natural for you to feel angry, hurt, confused, even unloved in the situation you are in right now. You need to learn how to deal with those feelings in a good way.

You sound like you are smart enough to realize that you need help. I hope you are smart enough to go and get it.

I wish you all the best little one.