We have had custody of my step son for about 1 year. His mother was in an abusive realtionship and my stepson was scared of the boyfriend. So my husband went and took him from his mother. We even took it to court and had an order of protection against the mother. We only have him until december and then we can either fight for custody or let him go back to his mother.
The mother loves her son very much as he loves her. She is no longer with the ex boyfriend, she is stabile, and ready to care for him. She wants him back. We told her that it is fine as long as she can provide and keep him out of harms way.
My mother-in-law thinks we are just trying to get rid of him. That it would be much easier without him there. Which we have 5 kids in the home including him. And yes the reality is it would be a little easier. That is definitly not why we don't mind if he goes back. He was raised by his mom his whole life and we have had him only 1 year. What do we do?
2007-05-17 03:58:02 · 8 answers · asked by Sari 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your mother in law that it's his MOTHER, and you're VERY sorry if she doesn't understand how badly a child needs his mother. If your husband is confident that she's in a good situation, let the boy go back. It's so refreshing to see a stepmom who isn't whining about the husband's child!
I commend you for helping your husband. And I have to say, with 5 kids in the house, I doubt one would make so MUCH difference that you'd really notice. One less bath in the evening, that's about it.
Your mother in law sounds like a less than nice person.
You and your hubby need to do what is right for the CHILD, not what m.i.l. thinks should be done.
2007-05-17 04:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to leave the boy out of your decision as much as possible. (i.e. dont take him to tell the mother in law he wants to move in with his mom, etc.) Using his voice as leverage in your decision isnt a good idea. It already sounds like he has enough problems as it is.
Take charge. The mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion, but that is all that she has-an opinion.
You know you are trying to do what's right by the child and if the mother has truly made the effort to get her son back-give their realtionship a second chance and pat yourself on the back for handling a tough situation very well.
Good luck.
2007-05-17 11:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by Kris W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give you guys credit!! Not enough parents like you or step parents like you in the world!! I agree with everything you said about the situation. IF you can agree outside of court that's great and just make sure she really is stable enough for her to take the child back. Be sure that the child is comfortable with it too. Try avoiding this from becoming a routine, child going back and forth from livings. Not sure how old he is but just remember it's already tough being in his position. Good luck!!
2007-05-17 11:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by VibiB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child's mom has cleaned up her act and is ready to provide and care for him give him back, no other can love this child like his mom. Keep contact and assure the child you will always be there for him when needed. GL
2007-05-17 11:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing what you think is right. This mother-in-law could certainly take responsibility for the child if she thought he would be better off with someone other than his birth mother.
2007-05-17 11:04:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the mother in law to butt out. Have the boy go with you and tell the mother in law. Or call her and have him on the phone to help explain the situation. If she still is the way that she is, forget about her concerns. Your first and only obligation is to the boy anyway.
2007-05-17 11:02:52 · answer #6 · answered by auditor4u2007 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask your step son what does he want,,he should have a choice also !
2007-05-17 11:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by dugbug63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask the child what HE wants...
he has feelings, too.
take care.
2007-05-17 11:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋