It had been a little over 2 weeks since my bf & I had broken up & I was heart broken & missing him badly, but last night was the 1st night I decided to stop moping & I went out. At around 3AM I was driving home & saw a car next 2 mine that looked like his & when he passed me by I knew it was him because I know his license plate #.
He followed me to my apt. & asked where I'd been. I got in the car 2 talk 2 him & he was sloppy drunk, then he starting crying & saying repeatedly that he was sorry. He kept saying that he was hurting & didn't mean 2 leave me alone. I was dressed provocative & he said it wasn't me & it's not. He called me his Queen & told me that he needed me. I let him stay at my place because he was in no shape 2 drive home. I don't know what 2 think. He ignored my calls 4 2 weeks & then he just shows up at my place out of the blue & breaks down like that. He cried for about 30 min. I don't know what 2 think...what 2 do now?
2007-05-17 03:57:44 · 22 answers · asked by geminig 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He was drunk. If he ignored you for two weeks it was probably because he was too busy trying out the field. He probably had a falling out with the other chicks and now is coming back to what he KnoWs he can get. Your second best, but a sure bet. Do you really feel comfortable in that position?
Alcohol makes you do weird things.
I'd keep moving and look for someone who's not going to just up and leave you again.
did he dump you or did you dump him. its important.
1 if he did it, I'm willing to bet it was because of another woman.
2. if you did it, you need to stick to your guns. don't let his drunken pleas sway you (its the alcohol talking)
2007-05-17 04:04:53 · answer #1 · answered by Mercury 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a little boy instead of a boyfriend. You're not going to try to change him I hope or 'see your way' because you can never change people. Ever. Repeat, never ever ever can you change people...get it?
He sounds very immature. Drinking and driving is immature and stupid. Even high profile adults do it but do we really need more heartbreak on the roads by innocent people to prove this point?
The bottom line is, he is using the moment in his life to make his way. Had it been another girl there he would have told her how horrible you were and convinced that girl to let him stay over. Probably that very night he was prowling for woman, but was sad and po'd that nobody fell all over him.
Be sure to kick this one to the curb. He doesn't sound like he has much a clue and sounds very selfish. He will likely choose fun over responsibility every time, which means when the going gets rough this one will likely run back to the comfort and safety of his friends and family rather than you. IE: Pregnacy.
2007-05-17 11:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by supadupa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy it. If he ditched you once he will do it again. It's a trick us guys do when we want to explore other women. We will take you back if we have even the slightest feeling that you will accept us. The fact the he was drunk meant that he went out too, only he didn't have any luck. You were his last hope at getting some action for the night. He only said those things to get you back in the sack. Stay away from him now, don't even hook up for a night cap. He doesn't really want to be with you anymore.
2007-05-17 11:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by zbaker6 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's just feeling lonely and thinks you would be the easiest way to alleviate his lonliness. Its really hard to help further bc you don't tell us WHY you guys broke up in the first place...
But i think you are on the right track - go out, have fun, even if dressing provocatively isn't normally "you" its still okay to do it sometimes just to do something different. Maybe you could consider just dating this guy again, but don't get into a relationship with him again right now bc it will just turn out badly in the end.
2007-05-17 11:02:54 · answer #4 · answered by FIGJAM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a reality check. What kind of life do you want to live?
He was driving drunk? Were you driving drunk too? Some innocent person could have been killed!
Stay away from him until he cleans up his drinking. And, by the way, you should stay out of clubs. You will only meet other guys who can't control their booze. Respect yourself and avoid these people.
Chill out for a while. Stay home or get with family and friends where booze is not a factor. You can't have a sensible conversation with a drunk, regardless of who they are and you can't trust their emotional outbursts.
There are plenty of men who drink socially and can control themselves. Your guy obviously can't. This is just the tip of the iceberg of emotional dysfunction. Are you ready for that?
______________________________
See http://on-line-tribune-relationships.blogspot.com
2007-05-17 11:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drunk is like truth serum...KINDA...and that's important part...the lack of inhibition allows the subconscious to let loose...so deep down you ARE his queen. HOWEVER, conscious and subconscious are often not on the same page: people that consider themselves straight have partaken in homosexual activity while drunk; but maintain there on after that they are not gay, and even continue to live as heterosexuals for the rest of there lives. In my opinion these people are in fact homosexuals, but you can bet your bottom dollar that they would disagree. Society, family, media, etc. mix to create pride, one of the things that separate conscious from subconscious, which brings us back to your situation: your ex didn't call because his conscious believes that he does not need you and his subconscious does need you. I use the drunken homosexual situation as an example because they are related; love vs. pride is a ***** (to be blunt). I am sure his friends or family or someone (potentially just himself) would have him believe that if he returns your calls he is weak...so here in lies the question: will his love for you or pride of his "strength" win? You know him best...you decide.
And just to clarify, I am not implying that outed homosexuals are prideless; some of my outed homosexual friends have shared with me that among many things they struggled with, pride was an issue in the coming out process.
2007-05-17 11:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by thecrazylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that his "greener pastures" didn't last for very long and now he wants his "sure thing" back. I'll give you the same advice I gave my oldest daughter when this happened (over and over and over) with her college boyfriend. Don't be the girl he comes back to each time he needs a place to go. Don't cheapen yourself like that. When they break up with you like that, it's because someone new is in the picture. When someone new doesn't work out like he planned, he wants back----until someone else better comes along. It's a pattern and it will repeat over and over. He MAY even marry you. That sets you up as the wife who is always cheated on and always take him back. We ALL know someone like that. You don't want that to be you. Believe me. What do the kids call that now? The "holla back girl?"
2007-05-17 11:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure about why you two broke up in the first place but it seems like the time apart took a toll on both of you. Give it another chance--however, let him know that you will not tolerate being ignored.
2007-05-17 11:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by grown&sexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is somewaht unstable. You must be careful not to get hurt by him, or by driving home by yourself at 3 am. Please have some fear, girls get killed or assaulted pretty often.
I would try to find new friends and in the meantime see if he proves you that you really matter to him. Maybe he was just so drunk that he started crying and since you were there, he just pretended it was because he was sorry. Good luck....
2007-05-17 11:03:21 · answer #9 · answered by gracegptx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you really happy together? If your honest is it really worth fighting for? If your not sure Move on, try to regain some of your independence by being alone, once you have truly stepped back from the situation things will become much clearer.
2007-05-17 11:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by chasey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋