me and this guy met on vacation. on the 9 day cruise we only had sex twice and we acted like a couple the entire time. since the cruise, we've been keeping in contact for 8 months. we've seen eachother twice since the cruise and nothing has happened between the two of us. after the last visit he even texted me right away saying "thanks for coming cant wait to see you again" we talked about if he was using me on the cruise. he said "no i promise you i didnt." i told him how there are friends with benefits and he was like "yeah, but thats not the situation between me and you." recently, we were supposed to hang out and everything got messed up, but he called that night and said "i dont care how much it costs ill get a hotel room at your hotel and your friends can come over here because i wanna see you so badly." then 5 days later he called to apologize for everything getting messed up. he said "you never write me anymore on myspace, you can call me anytime, let's keep this long distance relationship going" but then i wrote him a message a week ago and he read it but didnt write back, although i know hes been really busy because his dad just reopened their restaurant. and i happen to be going to college by where he lives in 4 months.
is he using me? or does he want a real relationship when i get there?
2007-05-17 03:43:36 · 18 answers · asked by lindsay m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ditch-em
2007-05-17 03:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in a similar situation with a guy that lived much farther from me than it sounds you two are, but we never had sex. We talked for about two years on the phone (since my Sophomore year of high school) and whatnot, then lost touch for a few months the end of our senior year because we were both so busy. We got back in contact, and I was planning to go to college with him but I realized that I cannot make a decision based on someone else. Also, about the using thing. Because he kept in contact AFTER you all had sex, it seems like he was NOT just using you.. but if he has been barely contacting you lately (only when its really convenient) then maybe he is keeping you around now to use you for later. It may have started out as not using you but it has become that. He may also have someone "special" where he lives that you don't know about. That's a really big possibility. But, I don't really trust people easily because I know that people will tell you a really good lie just to get what they want. Keep that in mind sweetie and keep your head up. If he's not mister right just keep him as mr. right now. Don't make decisions around him though, it'll be a disaster. Mine could've been if I didn't open my eyes :)
2007-05-17 10:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Krista H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a huge fan of those long distance relationships. They just don't work out like you want them to. You may feel in love right now, but he's just far away. Is he worth waiting 4 more months until you can start a serious relationship? And what is going on with ''using'' thing you mentioned? Seems like you're still young. One fine day you'll get the idea that there's no using when it comes to having sex. Sex is supposed to be fun and exciting activity both of you share. If you had a good time, then it wasn't using. He could've asked you the same question. I would consider it using only in case you didn't consent to having sex with him and he took advantage of you. Good luck with this dude (if you decide you want to wait 4 more months)!!!
2007-05-17 10:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Jela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes..he is but can u really blame him. You met him on vacation and as u may or may not know a lot of guys like to mess around on vacations. Now the vacation was 9 days long and you've managed to have sex with him twice...so what do u honestly expect him to think of you. I'm sure that he likes you..and the sex was good since he's still trying to stay in contact with you but I really don't see anything good coming from this.
2007-05-17 10:50:54 · answer #4 · answered by *VS* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He kinda does sound interested in a relationship. Most people would tell you that they would talk to you after the cruise and just would'nt! But things sound good if you are going to school around where he lives soon! Good luck!
2007-05-17 10:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by ljomcginnis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe. So what? Who's to say you aren't using him? Just go with the flow and see what happens. It seems to me that young women are entirely too preoccupied with this question. Stop treating new relationships as a zero-sum game and you will be far less stressed.
2007-05-17 10:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by Alowishus B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll probably find he has a relationship going on with someone there and you were his out-of-town fling for the cruise and when he comes there to visit. So don't be surprised by such when you go to school there if you choose to see him then
2007-05-17 11:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it kinda sounds like he wants a relationship but it also sounds like all he wants is sex. trust iv been there and i really hated it. it all started w/ friends w/ benefits and then i gave him head once and then that was the only time he called me.he acted like he wanted a relationship b4 i gave him head but after that all he wanted was head. well good luck w/ Ur decision.
2007-05-17 11:19:14 · answer #8 · answered by cutexnxsexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think he is using you for? I think if he was just trying to get sex then he would want to have it everytime he see's you. It sounds like he might actually want a relationship.
2007-05-17 10:49:35 · answer #9 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think he was using you, but give it some time. It's sounds like he has a lot going on in his life right now
2007-05-17 10:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does sound like a nice guy and I think he is looking for a honest relationship at least he's still trying to keep in touch with you
2007-05-17 10:47:59 · answer #11 · answered by shorty_by_nature 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋