So my Dad isn't coming 2 my graduation do u wanna hear his exucuses?

Question

well he said originally that he already put in for his vacation even though i told him since feb ( i graduate in june). he actually had the nerve to lie and say he didn't know that i was graduating this year and that i told my aunts 3 months before him.i live in connecticut and he lives in florida. we just got in contact 2 yrs ago. he said it's just another day and i'm just getting a piece of paper and thre wil b more important thing like graduating college. the whole time my aunt(his sister) was listening to the whole conversation. i even got on the fact that since i've found him he hasn't come to visit. he asked if he was suppose to just fly and come see me i said yes because i'm his child. he has 2 other children that he's been around their whole life and he hasn't been in my life more than 2 1/2 years then after that all we did was tlk on the phone until we lost contact. i haven't seen him in 11 yrs and i'm turning 19 in august. i don't know what he looks like he's pratically....

a stranger plus the other two kids. i feel so unimportant to him. he has no time for nothing! he kept promising me things he was gonna send and up until now i haven't seen them. i can't depend on him if i wanted to because he's a let down. i think he's dead wrong for treating me the way he does who else agrees.

when i told him that my aunts (his sisters) make me feel loved and important he said to let them b my father and i told him i wish they were because its the honest truth

i feel like since he missed out on everything else this is something he should make a priority. he's sitting back waiting for me to come see him and i told him it'll never happen! he keeps bringing up things from the past that happened with him and my mother...he's such an a s s hole

Answer 1

Too bad we can't choose our family! I definitely feel you were short changed in the father department. I too would have expected more enthusiasm if I threw my long-lost father a line. He has proved himself to be unreliable, self-centred and insensitive...is it any wonder you've had no previous contact with him? At least you didn't have to deal with this your whole life, just the past two years. If he is a toxic as you make him out to be, I would let him drift back into obscurity because he will only bring you down.

Perhaps you can thank him for teaching you (inadvertently) the importance of REAL family, what to (and not to) look for when choosing a mate and the importance of milestones in a child's life. I know for every controversy I've had to endure in my life, I've been stronger as a result as I'm sure you will be too.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry Shy. The truth is, none of us choose our family and it sounds like you got stuck with a particularly callous father. Keep your chin up though, because you have survived this long without him and are doing so well (congrats on your upcoming graduation!). A parent is defined by more than just his/her genetic contribution to your life. A parent must nurture, raise, teach, all those things that a child needs to be better equipped for the future and your biological father sounds like he would be useless in all of those things. Don't compare yourself to his two other children and feel unwanted because, just based on how he is treating you, he sounds like the type of father you might rather not have around.

Good luck to you and know that you are wonderful, beautiful and if he is too selfish to see that, then you are way too good for him!

Answer 3

Same thing just happened with my mom...all i can say is just be strong i recently met her about 4 years ago but like your dad she never really visits or calls all that often. her excuse was pretty much that its my fault i can t find her a way to get to my graduation even though shes the parent all i can say is just be tough and if ya wanna talk ill be here cuz i know the deal...it sucks but im sure youll have plenty of better family there celabrating the wonderful occasion! congradulations by the way class of '07!
good luck
- emerald

Answer 4

i'm so sorry -- i'm sure it was difficult going through most of your life without a father figure.

the first thing you could do, is realize IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that he's acting selfishly, hon.

also, please realize that he was irresponsible when it came to you all your life, and you can't expect people to change. all of this is no reflection on you, and certainly does not mean you are a bad person -- it means HE is thoughtless.... HIS actions have nothing to do with you, as a person.

another thing i want you to know is, it's none of your business what happened between him and your mother, and that has nothing to do with today. the past is overwith, you played no part in your parents' relationship... please do not feel guilty about something you have no control over. it was their issue, not yours.

you sound like a very good person, deserving of love and care... i'm so happy you have relatives in your life who DO love you and who show it.

sometimes we have to be happy for what we have in the here and now, and do whatever we have to in order to let go of other things. one way to do this is realize you have no control over your father, or anyone else but YOU.

do your best in life... learn from the actions of others. treat others as you'd like to be treated. i do know you are struggling with this....

ENJOY your graduation, and be proud of yourself. you worked very hard to get to where you are today -- that is quite an accomplishment, despite what you have been through.

congratulations... YOU are a wonderful person. never forget it.

hugs! and i hope you get some good answers here.

Answer 5

He just needs to prioritize. If his new family is more important then I wouldn't bother. I would stop calling him. One day he will look you up and be all sorry, then you will decide if he is worth the trouble. I haven't seen my father in 21 yrs and he chose it that way. I have moved on and he is wanting to be my dad now and I told him I didn't need one now. I needed one when I was growing up. I hope this helps. Or hey I may just be horrible at giving advice.

Answer 6

i'm so sorry that your father isn't stepping as much as the plate for you. i will inform you this, your tale is fairly much precisely the comparable as my nieces, my brothers oldest daughter. in simple terms met 2 a million/2 years in the past, and he has 2 different ladies he has raised their finished lives, my niece would be 19 in June. My husband and that i, (her aunt and uncle) have been very supportive of her. She used to stay in Oregon, lost her way after hs commencement, and mandatory a metamorphosis. She now lives with us on the East Coast, is working finished time at my husband's business enterprise, and could attend community college interior the autumn. Her dad too, has no longer be very supportive, no longer visited her as quickly as considering that she has been here (over a month in the past), and it is likewise very disappointing to me. the only project i will inform you is this. you are able to not substitute somebody. That has to return from interior of "them". You deserve a supportive father, besides the shown fact that, it seems such as you have help in different kin individuals, it fairly is a brilliant project. understand this........i understand that's crappy, besides the shown fact that it is not YOU! that's HIM! He would on no account come around, attempt and circulate forward, and place self assurance in different male place fashions on your loved ones to renowned as that parental help equipment. he's clearly no longer being a father to you, and you deserve that, whether from an uncle or cousin, or grandpa. Congratulations on your commencement, NOW pass obtainable interior the worldwide AND address IT!!!! you are going to be besides the fact which you prefer! artwork stressful, AND sturdy issues WILL COME!

Answer 7

I'm sorry that you have to go through this and I know he is your father but it's time you move on. Live your life with the ones around you that care. One day he might wake up and see what he has missed, you can't make a person care so don't waste your time.
But way to go Congratulations

Answer 8

I think he's missing out on the opportunity to have a great relationship with a wonderful daughter!
Congratulations on graduation this year!! What a big step for you.
Your father is an inconsiderate jerk, sorry. Enjoy the relationship you have with your aunts and other family members, and don't let your deadbeat dad drag you down, it's his loss not yours!

Answer 9

i think he is wrong. if he didnt want to be part of your life then he should have let you know right from the beginning istead of leading you to believe he really did care.
i wouldnt waste my time on your dad if i were you. move on. there are better role models as fathers for you out there then he will ever be.
maybe it would have been best to not have found him at all or at least you can thank god that you now know what kind of man your mom kept you away from all those years.
good luck

Answer 10

Wow he definately isnt even worth crying about. His attitude alone makes me wanna smack him! Listen to me, You're worth the time God gives you. Youre so blessed to be able to have family love you so much that they're there for you when he isnt. Graduation is big, its a big deal and its your day to shine and you should. Just because he isnt there doan mean its the end of the world. You lived fine without him all this time so you won't die living without him again. Fathers nurture their children... he just wants the title!