My husband was killed in a car accident a couple months ago. We have 4 children, youngest 9 and I have been trying to cope with their grieving as well as my own.I have found myself in a depression. I cant eat and I have a hard time sleeping.Ive lost 25 pounds and surprised that it isnt more because on a good day I manage to feed myself 4or5 bites. I am also ashamed that Im not stable enough to be there for my children like I should be.I know they need me so bad. Im not even sure what question Im asking...I just simply dont know how to get through this without medication. I realize my health is at risk. But I have several family members addicted to medications like the ones my doctor suggested.
2007-05-17 03:25:06 · 6 answers · asked by emily66 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Oh, dear, I am so sorry for your loss. I am grieving the loss of my mother since January. Grief in it's self is hard, and so much harder when you have the children to care for. I definitely would take your doctor's advice at this time. Some of the anti-depressants are not addictive. And I have taken a anti-anxiety medicine, and found it relatively easy to stop, since I only took it when I KNEW I needed it. So don't be scared of the medication. If the doctor recommends it, try it for the short term, to help you through the most difficult time of grieving. You can tell him that you don't want to be dependent long tern on the meds, and ask him to explain his plan to help you with that.
I hope you have a good support group around you to help with the kids. You have to be strong for them right now, and if it means taking meds for a short while, then I think you owe it to them, and to yourself. Things will get better, it just takes time, and a little help from medication. If you were sick with an infection, you would take the meds to make you better, well you are infected with grief right now, and rightly so, so help yourself and your kids.
I am so sorry for your loss, I know it hurts a lot more than anyone can know.
God Bless and Peace to you.
2007-05-17 04:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dog Mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are dealing with so much pain. Weight loss and lack of appetite is pretty normal in such a situation. Going through "normal" grief, if there is such a thing, takes a person about a year. In that year you will have many ups and downs, casting blame on others and yourself, possibly even your deceased husband. When you feel moments of happiness you might feel guilty, like, how dare you feel happy when your spouse is dead. These things are also normal.
Try not to be ashamed of what you see as your weaknesses. Be as honest as you can with others. Especially your children. If the youngest is nine you can tell your kids, "I am feeling sad today how are you feeling?" Communicate openly with them. They are old enough to understand your sadness. Let them know it is okay to grieve, because it really is!
Seek out some grief counseling for your family and for yourself. Many towns have grief support groups. You could try asking at your local hospital or church. A counselor may know after a few visits if some mild medication would be beneficial for you. Since you are extra aware of the family addiction problems you will be extra cautious not to use meds for too long.
I pray God will offer you comfort and help you through this hard time.
2007-05-17 03:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by mar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Antidepressant medications are non-addictive. Period.
It sounds as if your situational depression may be developed into clinical depression. If you are not willing to try antidepressant medication, I suggest you try greif counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy. CBT has the exact same success rate for clinical depression as antidepressant medication without the high incidence of relapse after treatment is over. Used in combination, you have even better chances.
Depression doesn't have to be a long term illness. You are not going to need antidepressants for the rest of your life. The reason that many people stay on these things for so long is because they can't be bothered to work with a psychologist. Not everyone with clinical depression is like this, but many are. They feel the effects of the medication working and don't want to do the work. Do the work and consider the meds and you most likely won't be on the drugs years from now.
2007-05-17 03:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine the pain you must be going through and with 4 kids to raise to boot my Lord!
Please recruit family and friends to help with the daily chores and meals, give yourself time to seek grief counseling, seek your community for "meals on wheels" or some sort of charity group that bring hot meals to your home, it helps lighten the burden you must be suffering.
As for not being able to sleep, well pray, seek alone time (I know I know is she kidding? but do it get creative) cry if you haven't already, yes grieve, you must go through all the stages in order to deal with your loss and be able to prepare a plan for your family because your kids lost a dad, they can't lose you too! Be strong, look for help, you'll be surprised how it will come out of the woodwork.
and love yourself :D
2007-05-17 03:38:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
anti depressants are not addictive. your family members must be taking something else or lying to you. it's very common to feel like this after the death of a loved one. don't feel ashamed about anything. we all need some help sometimes. make an appointment with your regular doc. he/she can prescribe something for you. you don't have to seek out a psychiatrist for this. it might be a good idea to join a suppoprt group. you and the kids. they can really help. i am very sorry for your loss. god bless.
2007-05-17 03:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter died three years ago and I lost a lot of weight too. My doctor put me on antidepressents for awhile and she counseled me every week for months.(We live in a rural area, so I felt isolated). I also blog on line and it helps and made a web site for her. her friends and family loved it.
I think you wont become addicted if you have a doctor you like and follow their directions.
My daughter's web site is: if you would like to look
http://missypoohsplace.piczo.com/?cr=3&rfm=y
You may want to join a web group like mine. I know it says for deceased children but everyone is welcome. I know how it hurts.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Angelbraggings/#ans
2007-05-17 03:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by reneem1954_2000 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋