Am I being to hard on my one-year-old?

Question

I am a fun mother, I play an awful lot with my son and make him laugh all the time. The thing is, when he does something wrong, I shout at him to stop. People tell me I am wrong for doing this, however, compared to others his age, he is very calm and respectful towards other people's things. Then they compliment me on that. Well, how do you think I got him to be so respectful? By freakin' shouting at him, letting him know it's wrong. So should I shout at him or not? I'm afraid if I stop, he'll be a bad little boy.

Answer 1

Do you want your child to grow up being fearful of you? You should try to bond with him instead of pushing him away. This young age is when you need to teach him that no matter how "bad" he is, you will still love him. Shouting is not showing love.
Bad behaviour does deserve punishment. Even at 1, my son gets time out. He knows what it is, does not like it (as he is a very active child) and will cease doing whatever "bad" thing when threatened with time out. Time out to him is nothing more than having to sit in the chair with out toys or TV for a few min.
There are alternatives to getting your child to listen. Try a few before losing your temper and shouting. Kids will eventually tune that out and not learn a thing.
My daughter is 4 and it aggrivates me to no end when she doesn't listen. I even asked her what it is she hears when I fuss at her, her reply was "nothing". They will tune you out. So, grounding her has been the most effective form of punishment. She has a lot of friends in the neighborhood, which, when she is acting up either have to go home or aren't allowed over.
As a parent, my advise is to not shout, but get on an even level and reach them with something they understand and care about. Remember to always explain why his behaviour/actions were bad and he was punished. With out understanding why, it'll make it harder for him to associate the action with the consequence.
Time out or grounding may not work for your son, but be patient and try a few things. You'll know instantly what works and what doesn't.

Answer 2

There is no need to shout. Just talk to him in a firm tone and when he looks at you give him a face that shows your disapproval. He's at the early stages of learning and is experimenting on the things that he can and could not do. Remember that kids at this age do not fully comprehend what is right and wrong.
Not only do you damage your son's hearing everytime you shout, if you make this a habit you'll also be destroying his self-esteem in the long run.

Answer 3

I'm so glad to see a conscientious mom, trying hard to do whats right for her child, and for others by teaching respect. Yelling isn't the most wonderful way to do it.
I was a loving mom, who yelled, who "swatted" and who grounded. I was NEVER embarrassed by my children! I could take them to restaraunts, movies, the grocery store, to other peoples houses, and they were well behaved children. I got compliments for them, and would tell them how proud I was of them for being so good! I would reward them, with a new toy or ice cream or some kind of special treat!
I cannot stand parents who will not discipline thier children, then subject the rest of them to thier fits and tirades in public places!! I cannot stress how much everyone HATES it when children ruin experiences for other people because parents are stupid enough to think that discipline is wrong. We were in Wal-mart just the other day, and a four year old little girl was having a screaming fit, I mean SCREAMING! at her mother, it continued for the entire time that mother was in the store! Everyone was shaking thier heads, and many people said to the mom "Maybe she needs a nap!" or "That is one unhappy child!", but the mom, who was so IGNORANT just said "If I ignore this behavior she will see it wont get her the attention she wants." And let the child scream horribly for more than 20 minutes! The child screamed and threw her tantrum untill they left the store, and many of us could hear her out in the parking lot as they were leaving!! Many people were upset, and I personally wanted to strangle that mother for being so stupid!
So thank you for at least trying (although don't really know if your yelling is just mild or if its outright screaming- HOPE NOT!) and trying to teach your child to behave.

Answer 4

Shouting will cause your child deafness. So keep it up, and when he totally ignores you when he's 13, it's because he just can't hear you!

Try simply lowering the volume and TONE. Studies show that children will respond more submissively to a male voice than a female voice. This works with dogs too. I don't know why, it's what I read in Parents magazine. I don't shout at my kids, and they are respectful, and curteous. Often I don't even have to talk, but actually just give them "the look".

Shouting makes you look like an @$$. Not to mention you're disturbing to the rest of us.

Answer 5

WeIl i dont know if its wrong or right, but Im in the same position as you. Im a good mom and I have fun with him all the time, but I feel the only way I can get through to him is to yell NO . I mean, if I usually have a soft pleasant voice with him and he does something bad and my voice gets louder and I have a different look on my face, I think he gets it thats he doing something wrong and usually he stops, or if hes being playful, then he'll laugh and wait for you to chase him and he laughs.

I asked my mom too if its scaring him, and she says no. My son has more common sense then most babies hs age, so he learns quickly whats bad and whats not. (doesnt mean he stops LoL, but hes just playful)

Answer 6

You shouldnt shout at him as it scares him and he dosent understand why your yelling. I have 3 kids from 1-5 years old and I get a better result by speaking in a calm firm "no" than getting my blood pressure up, and scaring them. Hes only been in the world for 12 months; hes going to be a kid and is very curious around him.
I try to remember that to a child; Mom and Dad are God and they use your actions as a guide on how to handle life. My 1 year old picks up on EVERYTHING and copies me and knows what no means and shakes his head just like Daddy. Just my 2 cents......

Answer 7

If you mean raising your voice to say " Stop that!" or "No!" then I think you are doing fine. If you are screaming at him for several minutes, then that would be too much.

At that age, reasoning with him will not work. Hitting is not acceptable. So --you seem to have found something that works.

As long as he is a happy child most of the time and is not afraid of you, then you are not doing anything terrible.

Answer 8

No, you are doing the right thing. He should respect you.

You ever notice the children of very passive parents, who never yell, are always very calm, never spank, etc... ARE TOTAL BRATS!

You should not shout all the time... but sometimes, it is necessary. Spanking is another way to let them know when they are doing something wrong.

Part of it is age too... At 12-18 months he is much more of a "Baby" and at 18-24 months he is becoming more of a toddler, and able to understand right/wrong.

Answer 9

well I'm 17 years old and when i was a kid i did bad things and i got yelled at. i remember how much i hated getting yelled at..it made me afraid and angry. but really it depends on what he does...you don't have to stop shouting at him just don't shout at the wrong times don't shout over petty things

Answer 10

I think you are a good mother, but nobody is perfect.
Try not to shout at him, because in a few years, he will be shouting at you!
He will take over your behavior.
I know it's difficult, shouting is a bad habit but try to stop.