Well my dad abuses meand mymom gets drunk all the time and i have todecide whichone i wantto livewith what do?

Question

Well right now i live with my dad and great aunt my aunt is about to move out and my dad is a very angry person who abuses me sometimes. my mom goes to bars and gets drunk with her new husband who is always driving drunk with me and my brothers in the car!!! and she dont care. my mom one day when me and my stepdad was arguing she told me to move out the only one who would take me was my dad so i moved in with him.besides the abuse iv been doing well there cuz he works second shift and i go to school.but when ever he sees me it makes an excuse to push me around and hit me.My mom just recently told me i could move back in but i dont know if i should!!!

Answer 1

Maybe you should stay where you're at and keep avoiding him. Do your best in school, make a goal for how you won't end up like them and how to get by on your own as soon as possible age wise. Also don't piss him off. Clean up after yourself and make yourself useful -housework ,yardwork whatever . Do not hook up in a relationship just to get out of the house, be true to yourself, and study on line about what makes a good relationship. Also, love your mom and dad for who they are. I'ts not about or because of you they are like that. When you are an adult, maybe you can be supportive of their problems. I guess they are doing the best they can at this time. try to stay safe and keep a clear head, talk to a counselor at school and be very loving to your brothers. If you wanna move back with your mom, stay safe and maybe your mom could use your hugs and love if she has problems with her choices with men. try not to take their behavior towards you personally. You know you are a good person, just born in to a family that has not learned how to deal with their own situations/problems. me too, but time passes and you can grow in to the kind of successful person you want to be if you make a plan and work towards it.

Answer 2

Man you don't deserve to live like this. I don't know how old you are, but do you have any relatives that you could call or maybe live with and get out of the situation that your in. I don't think you should live with either one. Ones an abuser and ones a drunk, what a choice. Talk with your school counselor or someone that you can trust to get you out of this situation. A foster home would be better than where your at right now until you can grow up and get on your own two feet. Good luck to you and may God bless.

Answer 3

Wow, what a tough deal. I don't see how either is an option. However, Dad isn't great but may be the lesser of two evils. When people drink, you never know what is going to happen next. Where is you Great aunt going? Could you move with her. I guess you don't have grandparents. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best. What does your Great Aunt say about the situation.

Answer 4

I am so sorry you are going through this and you have to make this call. I think you need to look to one of your relitives and ask them if you can stay with them. Explain why. If they wont let you and you dont want to go somewhere else, I would have to say I would stay with the Mother. I would just refuse to get in the car with her. Dont let your brothers get in there also. The drunk thing and bar thing...well thats better than the hitting. At least there at bars and not at home. Its ashame that you have to grow up to fast and take on this responsibility.

Answer 5

See if there was someone else (preferably a family member) who would be willing to care for you. You could approach your great aunt. If she is older, you can care for her, as well, she can become a legal gardian. It is an issue of reciprocation (I will do for you if you will do for me) and you must STICK to your side of the bargain and not be a trouble maker. Keep the brothers together if its possible...especially if you are the oldest. Your parents might not agree to this, and their might be an issue of custody, and it could become uglier. I would talk to an adult first, ask your great aunt for advise. If she is not willing, look to another family member that might be more willing to help. I wish you all the best!

Answer 6

wow now you have a real problem.I guess their are no other relatives you and your siblings can turn too or you would.I hate to advice you to call the authorities because I know that some times foster care can be as difficult as home,but difficulty with family is easier than with strangers.You don't say how old you are.Maybe you getting help from an outside source may enable you to get out and get your self together and then maybe you can help your siblings at a later time.

Answer 7

O hun, i'm sorry that you have to go thru that. Someday, you won't have to deal with any of that. You hang in there. It's a hard situation that you are in. i hope you make the best decision that you possibly can. Is there anyone else that you could live with? Please, go and talk to a counselor at school so they can help you thru all this. It's the best thing especially if you are getting mistreated by both parents. I'm sorry sweetie.

Answer 8

I feel your pain, you need to be living with the one that does not drink and have all of the drama. You need to talk with your mom and convince her to get help with this. There are many places that can help with this. Just call 411 and ask for info on abuse, but you all really need to get out. Don't continue to get abused.You are better than that. God loves you and he do not want you or your mom hurt

Answer 9

gee, hon, i'm so sorry to hear about your situation.

i don't think it's a good idea to live around a bunch of drunks.... your dad doesn't drink? he seems to have the attitude and actions of a drinker, too...

what would your dad say if you asked him to "listen" to you for a minute, while you talked with him about your feelings? you could think about asking him if he would please sit down and CALMLY listen to you. you could just tell him how you feel.. "I feel scared when you are angry" "I feel like we could handle our problems differently"... ask him what he thinks the two of you could do to make things better?

maybe he does not realize what he is doing to you?

this could get him to think about his behavior. it's really very unfair to you, that's for sure.

your father probably has problems which make him angry, and i'll be the holds all of his anger inside, instead of dealing with it properly. he probably needs therapy, but you can't force him to change.

do you have another relative who you trust and respect? (your father's brother or sister?)... maybe they could help you talk with your father.

i hope thing work out for you. i know you're struggling here.

sometimes talking with others does help quite a lot.

hugz

Answer 10

sorry to read that but i think u should go to ur mom first and try to make out from her that why she drinks so much and behave very obediently to her so that she can understand ur love and if not u can always come back to ur dad u are the only one who can be helpful in making ur mom and dad joined again coz family matters are every where the thing is that someone needs to be brave and hopeful i can just try to inspire the hope in u the rest u have to do take the steps after much thinking. and inspite of that situation doesn't changes u can contact me at [e-mail] and tell me more abt it my hotmail id is [e-mail]