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why should my daughters dad refuse to let me change my daughters surname to my new married name when he has not bothered with her whatsoever for 4 years not even a bithday card no xmas card nothing since he left not even his family has bothered with her

2007-05-17 00:21:51 · 15 answers · asked by minniemous 2 in Family & Relationships Family

he wont even give any money for her

2007-05-17 00:25:59 · update #1

he is an idiot last night on phone he said she wasnt his my new hubby is going to adopt her phoned court sending forms through post to change her name so my hubby can adopt her

2007-05-17 00:28:18 · update #2

she is 8 she wants her name changed we have a 2 year old now

2007-05-17 00:31:00 · update #3

15 answers

as much as you may not like this answer...you do have to get his permission if you want to change her name...BUT you can go and see a solicitor and find out what your rights are...if he has not been an active father for 4 years then maybe they will allow you to change her name...good luck...

2007-05-17 04:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1 0

Their are a lots of dead beat Dads, men that give a child and is not willing to take care of a child. But to change your Daughter name is something you must really think about
She is only four now, But think if it was you being older how would you feel. I feel that should be a child decision
I have a Son and his Dad have always been a dead beat I have had to bring him up from day one. He will be twenty one
this month He calls my husband now and has called him dad and he have truly been a dad for my Son. But he decision He wanted his name change when he was 14 one thing I learn from seeing other never to talk down about his dad and he love us today for it
A child will find out for there self you just be there with all the love you are giving in the long run it will work for you and your new husband she will come to you but do what you feel is best don't push because you don't want to push her to him when he is not there anyway

2007-05-17 00:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by marsha w 1 · 1 0

Tread very softly here. Make sure that whatever action you are taking you are within your legal rights. If he has indeed not had anything to do with her (example: no child support, visitation...) then yes, you can file to have his rights taken away and for your husband can legally adopt her. Until you establish all of this legally, I would be very careful about what you do concerning this. These kind of things have a tendency to come back and bite you in the butt when you least expect it. Good luck, Sweetie!

2007-05-17 00:28:16 · answer #3 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 3 0

Unfortunately hes her dad, hes on the birth certificate and you know for a fact hes the father. You gave her that last name. My nephew, my sister remarried, wanted her hubbys lastname hes raised my nephew since he was 2 and now my nephews a teen. My daughter, been raised by my hubby for years. She wants his name too. My daughters 6, my nephew is 11. Both are to young to understand. They dont want to be different, and they are too young to make a decision like that. Neither one has had contact with there father for over four years and never seen a dime. Changing there name doesnt make them less or more your husbands children if emotionally and financially hes raising them, in they end they will know the truth and will change it on there own. The children will know but your child is to young to make that decision. Plus remember you may not like her father now, but at one point you did, you chose her father, its her decision now to change her name. Her father is father, maybe not but fatherly deeds or merit but by paper and blood.

2007-05-17 00:42:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I don't know how a man can do that to his child. Have you talked to your new husband about it? I'm sure he agrees with you, and depends on how old the child is because if she's quite young she will start asking questions to why her name is different from yours. If so, act fast and do what ever you can to get that name for her because your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend dosen't deserve to give his name to this child if he dosen't see her! i's a discrace! You will feel much more comfrotable with your new last name for her's. You will feel more like a family. Trust me.

2007-05-17 00:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tay 2 · 1 0

He shouldn't if he has truly done nothing for her for the last 4 years he should continue having nothing to do with her. Its funny that someone who doesn't communicate at all with her even know this is happening.....

I'd like to hear his side in all honesty, and the final decision should be your daughters.

Just my opinion

2007-05-17 00:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by Link , Padawan of Yoda 5 · 3 0

Because he's selfish...it's like a kid with an old toy. Even if he hasn't played with it in a long time, he'll throw a fit if you try to take it away. His daughter's last name represents ownership to him, and changing it is like taking his toy away. He sounds like an idiot.

2007-05-17 00:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

why should you bother what he says then?
if your daughters older than 4 she'll have an opinion. her opinion and your opinion are more important than an absent father. ask your daughter, if she likes your new partner and wants to share the new name/have the same name as mum then great... the bio father has lost out, it often takes men long long time to realise what they've lost, this'll help him realise he's got v little say on this matter.

2007-05-17 00:28:30 · answer #8 · answered by amluvinit 2 · 2 1

i think if he's not ready to or doesnt bother with her as u said, i believe u should let ur new man adopt her if he is willing.

2007-05-17 00:27:14 · answer #9 · answered by SeXyBaBe 3 · 1 0

Just keep doing it all through your solicitors........ sounds to me like he's just being a git......... so let the law sort it out!!

Sophia

2007-05-17 01:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by Sophia 3 · 1 0

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