Alright so I'm 19, currently in university. I know this girl for a few months now, and we became friends. Recently, we hanged out very often and had a very very good time together. I also gave her free tutoring.
I like her and think she's an amazing person, so yesterday I asked her if she thinks we could move up from friendship to something more serious sometime in the future. She said that she had a bad experience with her ex-bf and prefer to be single - and she doesn't think it's the right time for her. Pulled the "but im really flattered" card right after the "old bf" card, I was kind of upset because I had feelings for her.
I think I'm going to keep the friendship because I still think she's a great person, but I'm not going to try to get anywhere more than that or I'd just end up hurting myself because it's very unlikely that now this would get anywhere. She's a good person and needs my help - so I plan on continuing to help her (maybe not as much). Am I doing the right thing?
2007-05-16 18:42:11 · 9 answers · asked by nnn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She was trying to tell you that you are not her type.
2007-05-16 18:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by Toya 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've done the same thing before. It turned out alright but it wasn't pretty immediately afterwards. For some reason she thought her trust in me was betrayed, which I don't get.
Best thing to do is keep it friendly. Like the other person said, she's in control right now and you'll have to play by her rules. If she changes her mind, she'll let you know. You threw the ball in and it's in her court now. Pushing it might make it even worse.
You may also be in the friend zone. She might not consider you to be a potential boyfriend. It's rare, but it's possible that she can change her mind about that. It takes extraordinary circumstances though. Just keep it friendly though. Don't think too much into it and just enjoy being around her. Don't set yourself up for disappointment and if something happens, then great. If not, you'll at least have a good friend.
2007-05-16 19:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anthony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, she's giving you standard lines. I'd say there's about a 10% chance that she's telling you the truth. If this girl was REALLY attracted to you, she'd go out with you if she didn't feel quite ready. The truth is that she probably isn't attracted to you that much. But I have to give you props though . . . you seem to have realized that she probably won't ever date you. Now, about your question . . . I guess it won't hurt to keep tutoring her occasionally, but I'd try to make myself scarce. Chances are if you don't offer to tutor her again, she won't ask again. At this point, I'd bet that she's staying friends with you for tutoring. If you keep talking to her you MAY be able to meet other women through her, but whether that's worth the trouble is something you'll have to decide. I'd just tutor her now and then (if she asks) if I were you. Good luck!
2007-05-16 19:15:25 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, just be cool with her as a friend but find others to date. After a while, she may change her mind but don't wait on it.
I never, and I mean absolutely NEVER give a girl the chance to tell me no to a date more than once.
When they come back around all flirty and I just treat them like a sister, they wonder what happened. It's my revenge and their loss. Ha! Ha!
2007-05-16 18:51:51 · answer #4 · answered by Fade To Black 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-04 04:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would not be tutoring her for free, but, that is your decision. If you do, then you may end up regretting it. At some point, I would let her know that you are paid to tutor, and you really can't do it for nothing. I doubt if she would be doing it for free if things were reversed.
Never let emotion and business get mixed together. It will always be a disaster.
2007-05-16 18:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by NoLifeSigns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure she isn't taking advantage of you, ok? And if you do stay friends, you never know, it might turn into something more. Girls are fickle like that sometimes, good luck!
2007-05-16 18:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is either saying no without saying "no" or she is playing hard to get. stay where you are at. she knows how you feel and if she is playing hard to get, she will come around eventually. but if you push the iisue she might drift away from you.. be careful. she s in control on this one... but she knows your interested so its just up to here now. she might come around...
2007-05-16 18:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the friendship for her. If she changes her mind, there you are. and if shes a good friend then even if it doesn't happen, who cares. you enjoy spending time with her, its all good.
2007-05-16 18:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋