Am I in the wrong or my brother?

Question

I'm seventeen and my brother is twenty-one; the longest time that he has ever had a job was a month... and he has only had TWO jobs his entire life. He lives with my mother and I, but stays in his room all day long playing video games; he does not go to school either. Any who, he is supposed to be leaving to Virginia to be with some girl he met off of myspace and was ranting about how mother is a piece of crap and how she doesn't pay for his plane ticket, blah blah. And I'm like: "Dude, you just got paid, why are you relying on mom so much? You spent hundreds of dollars on clothes when you could have spent it on a ticket; stop blaming mom for everything and take up responsibility."

Then, he starts cursing at me and acting all rude; and ever since, he has REFUSED to speak to me because I am such a "horrible" person. My mom ended up paying for his plane ticket and he is leaving on Saturday.

Was I wrong? I'm just sick of him free-loading.

Oh yea; he hasn't spoken to me for a week unless to complain about something. I'm beginning to think that I don't want to have a relationship with him in the future; he'll just freeload off of me anyway.

I think that my mom is sad, but kind of relieved. She has been planning to get a two bedroom apartment for the past two months and has mentioned that he isn't going to live with us anymore; visiting, but she isn't going to allow him to live here. I hope that she sticks to this plan.

Answer 1

This attitude of his is highly unacceptable.... I appreciate your response and would appreciate it even more if your mother starts getting stricter with him.

Answer 2

You are not wrong, believe me when I tell you this is not the end of the story, pretty soon when things don't work out he is going to ask you all to pay for his ticket to come home because he has no money.

As long as your mother enables his bad behavior and lets him stay with her, he will continue to use her. I understand that a mothers love is usually unconditional, but your mother needs to cut the apron strings and let him fend for himself.

At least you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so don't be bitter, know that you are doing the right thing and continue the way you are you will be fine, last but not least, stay out of the relationship your mother has with her son. It will only cause you frustration and annoyance, love her for the woman she is who is bringing up the both of you and accepting your faults.

Answer 3

I rather think your mother did the wrong thing by buying his ticket. Son or not he should have bought his own ticket.
No you did the right thing. The Male species have a very bad habit of taking and not giving back Very selfish.

Time will come when he will require his family for the love and understanding that he needs thats when he will need the help.
But in the mean time he needs to grow up and support his mother. Not the other way round

Answer 4

You are in now way in the wrong I do not mean to offend but your brother is a BUM. He is a 21 year old man and all he has going for him is a hot date in Virgina. I think that you were in the right for standing up for you mom and yourself he needs to get a life he should be the one helping your mom not the other way a round and your mom needs to cut the umbilical cord because if she does not do it now the harder it will be later. I have a friend with the similar situation only her brother is way older and still sitting on his mothers couch but the one thing her parents did do was kicked him out of his room because he is a grown man and if he wants a room to sleep in he needs to go out and get one the same goes for your bother and it he will not talk to you o well maybe he will when he grows up because he is still acting like a high school kid.

Answer 5

My brother is 36 yrs old and the only time he didn't live with my mother is when he was in jail. (Ha ha we moved to Europe during that time for 5 yrs!)
When we moved back to the US, he moved in with us and I got kicked out because I kept calling my mom out on the special treatment he kept getting. He's six years older than me, physically, but he's like 6 yrs old mentally. (He's not officially retarded, but I want tests to prove otherwise!)
Here it is 5 years after the boot, and he still lives there mooching off mom. I moved out, moved on, and moved up. I don't speak to him at all.
And now since I've moved out of state, he has to hear about how great my new life is and how proud my mom is of me.
Don't sweat the fact that your mom got his plane ticket. Make the most of the time you guys will have without him. Reinforce the positives in your mom/kid relationship.

When he's gone, don't mention him. Be the greatest sister ever 'til he leaves. No matter what happens, just remember: he'll be gone soon!

Answer 6

Sometimes its hard to have all the best things out of life. It seems you live more responsibly and set goals for yourself in order to have a secure future. Your brother on the other hand seems to be more in the moment. But you don't have to worry about that too much it will catch up with him sooner or later, and just see the plane ticket as a slighty expensive way of getting rid of your brother for god knows how long.

Answer 7

Hey, he's your brother.. but what an ******. He is a freeloader and a very unappreciative freeloader at that. Unless he's done some super crazy stuff (like saved your life when you were five from drowning) then I'd say he's a total loser and he'll end up bumming from you for the rest of your life.

You were 100% right, don't fall on this one.

Answer 8

Some times you have to pull the plug on toxic relationships such as these. Unfortunately it is someone related to you. From the sound of it, your mom buying him that plane ticket is buying her some peace of mind. Your brother is a slug and he needs to live on his own.

If he doesn't talk to you, oh well. Be happy he's outta the picture.

Answer 9

he is young and dumb and will learn the hard way. stay out of his way, let him go and when he calls wanting home then throw his own words in his face. he thinks he is in love and if he is gonna disrespect mom, he will disrespect her too. she wont deal with it. get her name in myspace and tell her how he is acting and see if she really wants him. then maybe he wont even go. tell mom take the video games away. he needs to wean off the mamma's breast....if ya know what i mean. my son has been that way and is 21 and has a boy now of 1 yr. he has been at the same job now about 3 months! its just the way kids are now days. yours will be like this too- so think about it. really!

Answer 10

what a bum
im 21 and still live with my parents, but i pay rent
its not wrong to be concerned about your brother and your mom, and whether he may be taking advantage of her. however, you need to be careful about how you approach him about it, and remember that, in the end, it is your mother's choice what she does with her money. if you are really concerned about it, you could discuss it with her. it could be she doesn't like him free-loading either, and gave him the ticket to get him out of the house. if he meets this girl and likes her, he may be inclined to stay down there and get a job.
don't be too upset with him. he will always be your brother. you can't choose your family. there will comes times when you mess him or when you need him or his advise, so try to keep the peace with him now.

Answer 11

If he is just lazy, which it sounds like he is, then he is in the wrong. I dont even free-load and I am disabled. I pay about half the bills and I only have SSI income. Seems many kids your age and your brothers age have no sense of responsibility and no sense of the value of money and hard work. I am glad you have a sense of all three.