I will introduce my kids to 'friends' on occassion.. but never let them all get close. I have my kids full time, and they have never met their dad (his choice)... so I don't get out alot. I met this guy who wants to be friends to see if it develops to more. He wants us all to hang out together. He wanted to hang out this long weekend, and I said no because my kids have spent time with him 2'ce in the last few weeks. He doesn't 'get it'. He thinks it will be fine if he brings his son to distract my kids. My kids want a dad.. I think that would be a bad move on my part to let them get close. In my opinion, if he REALLY wanted to get to know me bad enought, he could come over here when they are in bed and we can hang out in the yard or watch a movie. I think I will lose him because I won't let him get to know my kids alot when it is not even going anywhere that I know of! Am I wrong???
2007-05-16 17:57:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are right on sister. I don't introduce my kids at all until we've dated at least 6 months. That the rule. They don't like it they aren't for me. My kids hearts aren't up for grabs and I will not put them in the position to see men come and go. That is not fair to them and any man who pressures you other wise is not thinking about your kids now so why would you think that would change later. Give him the boot.
2007-05-16 18:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by R P 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just had a spat over this very question with a good friend of mine. My kids are now grown but when they were little I never let anyone around them until the relationship became serious. I am currently single and I do not want to hang out with a guy and his kids until I know where we stand. My feeling is that his kids don't need some chick hanging out during their weekend time with their dad. There is plenty of other times to hang out. Although I waited too long to get to know my last boyfriend's kids (4 months) because he didn't like it that I did not come around on those weekends and I was just starting to think of coming around about that time. Since we didn't work out I am glad I didn't get all caught up with his family. My friend says otherwise.- to get to know the kids right away to make sure you even like them. I know my nephews hated it when their dad brought various girlfriends around. I really don't see the point in getting everyone involved until there is a reason to.
2007-05-16 18:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by restless_n_seattle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your wrong.
If your in a relationship with someone the 2 of you shouldn't hide anything.
I understand your kids wants a father, I'm pretty sure they know that your boyfriend is not their father. But if your boyfriend wants to try out the family get together thing, I dont see what the problem is. other than your not sure to commit with the guy. You take your kids emotions for granted. Kids are smart. and they learn to adapt fast. Would you rather have your kids not know what moms doing out and about? Or see who mom is with? At least let them get to trust the guy.
If you were my girlfriend I would seriously think something was wrong, if you didn't want me to meet your kids.
Your kids are included in the package when it comes to relationships. And he knows you have kids, and he's still with you. what more do you want?
2007-05-16 18:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, Your kids is your first priority. He wants to go out, if you have a sitter then go. If he wants to stop by when the kids are napping that's fine. But there would be no meeting of the kids too soon and he doesn't need to bring his child over neither. take your time with him, if he's in a rush let him rush someone else along.
2007-05-16 18:03:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one meets my son unless it's going somewhere. Once he woke up while I had a friend over, so I brought him into the livingroom where we were watching a movie and snuggled him back to sleep (he's 16 months) but that's about as close as it gets to "meeting" someone.
I am sort of but not completely seeing a guy who has a son, I met him once, his son is older, there was a brief introduction and that was it.
Kids don't understand break-ups so if that person just disappears from their life they get hurt.
2007-05-16 18:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by kimmp1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right it your kids want a dad, so it would be wrong for him to enter their lives and then in two, three, six months leave if things don't work out. You would be giving them false hope. It is possible also, that he is just looking for a mom for his son and that is why he is just pushing so much. You should explain to him and if he doesn't "get it" then I'm sorry but maybe he just won't.
2007-05-16 18:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say your wrong but perhaps Little over protecting...as long as such visitation is supervised and enjoyed by all things should work out...depending on your kids ages, I would explain to them the circumstances and what type of friendship it currently is..this way they won't jump the gun and start referring to him as Dad and put all in an awkward position...I think alot of your decisions are because your scared...take it slow ...proceed with caution...but give yourself a chance.
2007-05-16 18:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think one should get to know a person a personal basis before introducing him to the children.
Why doesn't he take you out for a meal or theatre etc.??
I don 't think one should introduce a person until you get to know him first.
He needs to know you first and foremost, you don't need another child to look after, you come first.
Dinner and date first for at least a few months.
Than a picnic and the children.
2007-05-16 18:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I meet blond divorce women in Victoria and she had girls, I was thinking if she is nice women may I go after her, but soon I find a African guy all ready have sex with another single women which this women also have girls in relationship, some times some man are looking to meet a divorce women who's have nice good looking girl , carefully please,
2007-05-16 18:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got it. you do have to know were its going. and see what he wants from you. and if hes is the father type. like you told me . keep the kids out of it till you are sure. good thinking on your part. life is about kids and what you show them and tell them
2007-05-16 18:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋