Would you mind sharing the reason(s) why? I'm not 100% sure I want to have kids (and that's why I haven't up to this point), but I wondered what made others decide not to?
2007-05-16 17:26:43 · 16 answers · asked by Jane D 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am 40, and have no children. I had a vasectomy at age 21. My long-term girlfriend is 36, and also has no children. She got her tubes tied at age 27. When we met, 5 years ago, we where both long sterilized.
Most of the women, I dated, also are of the type that don’t want children. I am told that 1 in 5, in the USA have, or will decide not to have children.
My cube-mate, and several other people, at my place of employment, feel the same (BTW: Pretty much all of them are educated).
Every day, I thank my lucky stars that I chose not to have them. All the stamps in my passport are evidence of the better standard of living that I can afford, because of not having them.
My girlfriend and I are often mistaken for a couple in their late 20’s. Why? I am pretty sure, having children makes people look older. Yes, many of my friends has kids, but my face is not wrinkled, and I still have all my hair!
Ask any of your friends, whom have children, if they could go back in time, would they still have them. In public, they will say, "I would not change a thing". Ask them in confidence, and they will tell you that they wish that they never had them.
Look into the cubes of people that you know are married with children. – There are pictures of kids, but no spouses. I honestly think their relationships have suffered from having children.
Our reasons, are all of the above.
2007-05-18 01:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by Marvin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good question. At this moment for one thing, I am not stable money wise nor in a decent job. I am in my mid-thirties, by the time the right job comes along and i move into a decent place, get married I will be in my mid to late 40's before i am secure enough to even fathom having a baby, and by then i won't even try.
When i was 25, I had a dream - to be married with 2 children (and obviously in a stable job) by the time i was 30. Well that came and went and now there's not a true hope in the world that i will ever have a baby of my own cuz i'm not birthing my first when i'm in my mid-late 40's and risk the complications not only to myself but risk having a baby with complications which i am not prepared or able to deal with.
I was a daycare teacher and worked with special needs kids...they were cute, but hard to handle...if i had to deal with a special needs child of my own... well i just couldn't.
2007-05-24 22:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by morrigansstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think you want to, then don't! I have children because I wanted them very much, and still it is difficult at times, although I will never, ever regret it!
I work with many elderly people, and quite a few of them never had children. It is about 50/50 as far as the regret factor goes. There is no one to help look after their best interests or their health, and while they have great travel stories they can no longer go and do stuff. So they sit. And wait for paid caregivers to come and visit.
It is a huge decision and not one to be made lightly.
2007-05-23 21:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I only know one couple [now in their 50's] that decided not to have kids. They were just really busy with their careers [and had very successful ones] and were very happy spending time with each other, and did not want children to interfere with their lives. As far as I know, they were very happy with their choice, and having kids really would have put a damper on their traveling and such.
On the other hand, I would not trade my kids and the satisfaction I get from parenting for all the foreign travel in the world!! But that is just me, and I would not dare to judge someone else by MY feelings about THEIR choices.
2007-05-17 00:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've known my whole life I didn't want kids and took every precaution to not have them. Kids are cool and all, but I like the idea of being able to give them back to parents.
They're messy, loud, expensive, a life long commitment, (you say they'll move out at 18, but my sister is 23 still living at home, still getting my mom to buy her stuff, with no job) The idea of having a living thing growing inside of me grosses me out 100%, babies scare the crap out of me, too fragile. I like the option of doing what I want the rest of my life. no kids attached.
2007-05-24 12:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by OZ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I decided not to have children because I can spoil other ppl's kids and then go home. I am the favorite aunt. Also I never understoon why ppl have children then "warehouse" them in child care. You wouldnt adopt a dog or cat if you didnt have the time and funds. Thankfully this is not the case my immediate family. my hats off to stay at home moms who arent of welfare
2007-05-23 10:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by zeleigh 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
many reasons:
1. Children annoy me. (They're SO noisy!)
2. Children are sometimes born with severe medical problems, or get diseases that can destroy you financially, and emotionally.
3. Children cost TONS of money, to raise.
4. There's always a chance a child could grow up to be a criminal, especially if it's a boy.
5. I love my nieces and nephews very much, and my relatives say I'd make a great father, but I still get bored with the kids after I've watched "Toy Story", and done the "pull my finger trick" a few thousand times.
6. My gf loves children, and would love to have children, but unfortunately, for her, she's barren. ( Note: I take no solace in that, I'd probably let her talk me into just ONE, for her happiness, if she could have them.)
2007-05-17 00:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by lovesassflake 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
some people don't want the responsibility or want to loose their independence. when you have a child they should come first. alot of people don't want children because of cost. some had a bad childhood and some feel like a child would be a burden. could be a number of things. good for you for not having a child when your not ready to. alot of people don't think things through and then their are unwanted children.
2007-05-24 10:27:19 · answer #8 · answered by Elaine J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have one kid, and i want another, but my husband of 8 months dosent want another kid because he shells out $180 a week in child support. Or whats suppose to be child support but is more like mommy spoildness support. Anyway i guess thats a good reason not to want a kid.
2007-05-21 16:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, when my husband and I decided that, it was because we wanted to have more time with just each other. We both love to travel, and wanted to be able to do that easily, and we also just wanted to be with our nephews to get our "kid fix", but be able to "give them back" and go back to our own lives. Then we found out I was pregnant with our daughter, who is honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me. Definitely better than I ever, ever, could have imagined. Now I am pregnant with our son, who was carefully planned & is eagerly awaited. Tough decision, but not always one that's up to you, anyways- good luck!!
2007-05-17 00:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋